《皮蛋》 sometimes a once-in-a-century egg drops by by iskendaris
《皮蛋》 sometimes a once-in-a-century egg drops by
Summary:Â Â Exactly thirty-eight days after he enters Cloud Recesses, Wei Wuxian wakes up pregnant.
MDZS Egg-Baby meme fic
Just fuckin' click on it you know you want to read this!
My comment:Â Â Oh, dammit, dammit, this is only half finished. I hadn't noticed.
Anyhoo, it's a hoot and a half, I kept laughing, so I’m not sorry:
Excerpt:  Jiang Cheng’s brows knitted together, he scowls. “Are you sure? Like, it’s not just something you ate? Or like some other clusterfuck you came up with?” He groans, trying to think of how he’ll have to explain this when he writes back home. Dear Ah-Niang, Thank you for your letter. Our studies are going well. I regret to tell you that Yunmeng Jiang’s senior disciple got himself pregnant today….
“Of course not.” Wei Wuxian shrugs. “At least, I don’t think so. It doesn’t feel like a food baby. Not that you can get one since they don’t feed you properly here. Bleh.” Wei Wuxian sticks his tongue out at the thought of Gusu’s bland cuisine. “I checked my meridians before coming here, it’s not malicious or anything, it just really seems like I’m pregnant.”
“Please,” Jiang Cheng groans again. “Please stop saying that.”
“What? That I’m pregnant?” Wei Wuxian asks. He frowns. “You don’t like children?”
“For fucks’ sake Wei Wuxian, I can’t believe we’re having this conversation— it’s 4 fucking am, you’re telling me you’re pregnant, you’re a man , how the fuck can you be pregnant?”
Wei Wuxian’s lip trembles. “I thought you’ll be happy for me.” He looks like he’s about to cry. “I like kids you know.”
“YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO THE FATHER IS.” Jiang Cheng screams hysterically. “YOU’RE A SIXTEEN YEAR OLD PREGNANT TEEN CLICHE.”
“IT’S AN IMMACULATE CONCEPTION!” Wei Wuxian shouts back, sniffling. “I’M BANNING YOU. YOU’RE CANCELLED. NO MORE UNCLE JIANG!”
Their screaming match wakes up the entire student dormitory, rumours flying faster than wildfire. By breakfast, everyone knows that Wei Wuxian, senior disciple from Yunmeng Jiang, troublemaker and genius extraordinaire, is pregnant.
humor, funny, egg fic, egg baby, teen pregnancy, mpreg, canon divergence, fluff, angst, eggpreg, immaculate conception, caretaking, totally chill wei wuxian