#isissucks

So like I bought a whim ticket to Istanbul while studying for Electromagnetic Principles..and by that I mean i was not studying for Electromagnetic Principles (s/o WASHU BME)

Figure 1. TURKEY which coincidentally does not really look like a Turkey

...this is about to be very stream of consciousness type of blog post so like read it or dont i don’t care but forewarned my favorite word is fuck and my thoughts are probably as disjoint as idk...Canada and Mexico (cuz America is in the middle for my less geographically inclined friends...) and its like 2AM. It’s probably gonna be kinda boring too probably cuz i suck so like yah. Anyways I bought my ticket and THEN told my parents I was coming here cause u know the whole its easier to ask for forgiveness than permission and like the ticket was non-refundable so really u can’t do anything about it Sid and Nita #sorrynotsorry. I was expecting a little bit of distaste for my travel selection but my parents really took it above and beyond proud of them. My mother took the worst case scenario tactic and pretty much started wailing about how dangerous it was for me to travel to a muslim country by myself now because I was the dumbass that got the hindu symbol tatted behind my ear and that I’d forget and wear my hair up and someone would see me and hang me...yup. In my defense I absolutely do not recall getting tatted drunk Shilp FTW...(if u haven’t u can scroll down and read a more detailed account about how that “supposedly” happened in Thailand woo). My father took the “serves u right tactic”. I told him over the phone and he sat there silently for about 30 seconds and in the most monotone voice ever says “when you get taken by ISIS don’t think I’m gonna come get u like the dad in Taken, who do u think I am Liam Neeson? Also unsure if I even like you that much i’ll get back to you on that” and then hung up. AMAZING. Thx Dad love u too. Anyways when it comes to travelling I’m pretty much balls deep so I said fuck it and boarded a flight and here I am chillin in Istanbul. I have seen some amazing sights and like have had no issues with Muslims as mentioned by my mother aside from the 6AM call to prayer that happens everyday. Basically mosques around the area will play really loud music, I mean blaring loud music (llike if this was america the cops would be called and u would be told to go the fuck home) letting everyone know its basically time to pray....yeah I pray that u shut the fuck up and I can go back to sleep its fucking 6AM no wonder u ppl wanna blow urselves up (OMG I CANT BELIEVE SHE SAID THAT is what ur probably thinking). OTHERWISE the sites around Istanbul are dope dick and I’ve had a many good friends share the burden of hanging out with me and entertaining my ass which has been awesome cause I haven’t seen some of these kids in months! 

Figure 2. Joanna Being my Friend in the Cisterns of Istanbul TG. 

Figure 3. Reunited w/ Dorukhan. The Greatest Turk to ever exist! 

Figure 4 LOGAN taking one for the team and showing me around her home

Figure 5. So many friends much turnt so fun. 

What I have noticed society wise while here though is that this country is SUPS patriarchal (which is expected right muslim country etc etc) but like it didn’t realllyyy bother me till I went to the Grand Bazaar (giant bazaar where u can buy stuff u know...self explanatory). 

Figure 6. GRAND BAZAARR

If you’ve been to a market in the abroad (aka not America) u know what it’s like to be yelled at and cat-called as these merchants are trying to convince you that their useless shit is better than that guys useless shit. My favorites include “I am single”...WHY DIDNT U TELL ME BEFORE NOW I DEFINITELY WANT TO BUY THAT 10lb TOBACCO PIPE SHAPED LIKE A LION or “Hey beyonce come let me help u spend your money”. However, by far my most favorite and hated comment came from a guy tryna sell me his goddamn carpets (do I look like i need a carpet? The answer is no no I do not need a fucking carpet). He walks up to me and he’s like “hey lady buy my carpet please” and I’m like no no I’m ok and then he gets very stern looks at me and says “But you must purchase a carpet for your Dowry”. I just stared at him in disbelief did he really just say FOR MY FUCKING DOWRY. IS that even real LOL I better start amassing for my dowry? like what is this big little week where we start a year in advance yeah I don’t think so...  I aint tryna amass a dowry like u want a dowry u can have the fucking goat that has moved onto my family rice paddy in India and like plot-twist nobody knows whose goat it is and further plot-twist nobody has been able to capture it and get it off our property. True story fuckin stealthy ass goat living on our land like a bad ass motherfucker giving zero fucks. 

I literally just think the concept of a dowry is so fucking dumb like bitch I’m giving u an all access pass to my vagina for the rest of our lives what else could u possibly want?!....a goat?! maybe a carpet? Anyways I started thinking about dowries and then about how they are a part of patriarchal societies and then like IS. Turkey happens to be the the hub for people that are making their journeys to the IS. Here’s my issue...why the fuck do u want to go to IS. Be muslim be hindu be christian be pastafarian be whatever the fuck u want to be but like WHY... WHY. WHAT IS THE APPEAL!? I pondered this and then today ran into an awesome website explaining why I should head on over the the IS. Let me divulge with you the top 10 reasons people are leaving their families and what not from all across the world to go to IS. 

1. Food for free 2. Single women u will definitely have a husband in 2 months.  3. If people steal from u we will cut off their hands nbd 4. U will probably get a gun who & doesn’t want a giant AK47 5. Women you get to make friends from all over the world 6. Free rent (TG SOLD) 7. The weather is suberb! 8. If your husband dies in battle NO WORRIES we’ll assign u another one 9. Want more than 1 wife COME ON DOWN U can have as many as u want 10. Meet people from all over the world who love Allah. 

It’s just unreal that people will leave their homes and make the journey because of a poster that promises these things although like free food idk i might almost be sold but then I remember if I steal something I might get my hands cut off and I’m a low key clepto, mainly just souvenier shops at airports (comin for u Attaturk International Airport). The main thing that I’ve been hearing is that Turkey could hundo p shut this shit down because people from the western world utilize Turkey as a hub to get to Syria. According to Turkey its none of their business. Like sorry they haven’t started beheading turks yet are u fucking serious..and u wonder why the UN doesn’t wanna chill...I think its pretty much the worlds obligation at this point to shut this shit down I mean shit on 9/11 people from IS literally tweeted Happy Boom Boom day...are u serious. 

I highly doubt Allah is too thrilled right now guys. Allahs over there like wtf this is not what I meant when I said that like...omg u guys...WHAT DO U THINK TURKEY SHOULD DO FRIENDS? Look at me making u think and shit...do they have a moral obligation or is neutrality the way to go? Also plz enjoy some tweets and tumblr posts from those who live in the IS because apparently twitter has been one of the biggest platforms for IS to gather recruits...oh social media.

“Drove passed the body of the man who was crucified in manbij for raping a 70 year old. Perks of living under the shade of Shariah :p”

— Al_Khanssaa (@أم عبيدة)

(is the :P really necessary tho..) 

“Being in a place where my 22 year old bro casually has three wives & not having to worry is beautiful” 

(brings tears to my eyes so beautiful)

“So there's a threat by David Cameron to revoke our passports. If I could I would burn my passport and send the ashes right to your door step”

— Al_Khanssaa (@أم عبيدة)

“These journalist are so annoying no wonder they get kidnapped audibillah”

— UmmKhattab__ (@Al Britaniyaa)

“If we ever get hold of her I call dibs on cutting her head plz @UmmLayth_ @Al_Khanssaa https://t.co/K3VTQZ6feP”

— bintladen1 (@Jihadi Jane)

(DAMN SLUT HOOKED UP WITH MY EX IMMA BEHEAD THIS BITCH)

AND my personal faves

UGH SO CUTE #tillmartyrdomdowepart 

@aishasara4 loool yes and seeing for the first time a dead body loooool hahahahahha that was so funny

— ummyusuf22 (@ام يوسف)

(I think u forgot a couple more “hahahahas”) 

Idk if theres a point to sharing the above but like I think its super interesting how IS is all over social media that we use everyday hell that I’m using rn but like I will never get it and like as Louis C.K kindly put it 

incase you were wondering where I stood on the matter although s/o to ISIS for free food. 

srsly it’s been real guys...till martrydom do we part <3 HAPPY SPRING BREAK!!!! :) 

PS- Istanbul is beautiful and amazing and everyone should visit 

Also S/O To Canada