#ishyfear

1. Lanfear has borderline personality disorder

2. Mierin was born to da'shain aiel parents

this is the self indulgent one and I feel like is actually 100% canon despite Robert never confirming it. Her favourite person: clearly Lews/Rand. Her rejection sensitivity. Rand rejects her multiple times throughout the books and her reactions are always visceral, from anguish to splitting on him in TFoH AND s3ep8. Needing to be in control and have power over her life and the people around her which probably stems from trauma. BPD is a traumagenic disorder, I have other headcanons relating to this one I'll get into.

And her burning self loathing, I think she tries really hard to convince herself she deserves more and that she deserved Lews/Rand more than Ilyena did, but I think, or rather what I've read and seen in her tone is that she doesn't truly believe that which is why she strives to be in control so much. I think a lot of things in her life were out of her control, the bore being the big one. Which is why I find it so gutteral that she's the only forsaken to have chosen her own name, but later has it stripped away and has another name forced upon her. Then having her soul trapped and the torture and likely sexual abuse she experiences at Moridin's hands as Cyndane.

3. Lanfear is asian

LOOK...I just had some thoughts and this randomly came upon me while I was skimming through the shadow rising, where Coumin, an aiel ancestor of Rand makes a remark about not being taken to train as an aes sedai because he lacked the spark and it sent me into a spiral thinking about aiel aes sedai and aiel forsaken, which inevitably led me to the source of my hyperfixation so of course I had to make it about her in some way, and well aiel Mierin kinda happened. Which is honestly really tragic when I get really deep into the implications of it.

My line of thought was that she was born to aiel parents and at a young age taken by the aes sedai (basically kidnapped) because she had the spark, and they could definitely tell she was going to be one of the strongest channelers of saidar. Aes sedai being aes sedai would not let such an opportunity go.

Also, Randfear implications (yes I will make it about them too) it would be kind of nice for them to relate to being Aiel and not knowing it and hating aes sedai for what they did to them. I have a whole story written out in my head. One day, one glorious day, I will write it out on ao3.

By that I mean I imagine her as having eastern asian features, from the moment she was described as black haired and black-eyed with pale skin, the pieces fell into place. But now, I'm so in love with Natasha's portrayal of Lanfear both in looks and personality, I started kind of mashing book and show Lanfear into one, cause I'm still way too attached to my asian Lanfear headcanon, so I do draw mostly Natasha but with epicanthic folds

4. Mierin's name means "the seas"

Again, I had this thought while skimming through the books, where the sea folk or in the old tongue, atha'an miere, were mentioned, there's not much to it other than "miere" and Mierin sounded very similar. So i dug through the wiki and found "miere" (the sea) + "in" (plural suffix) so I would guess miere + in = mierin (the seas), Look I'm no language expert.

5. Rand has Lanfear's cour'souvra after the last battle

And these would be the spoilers, I'm halfway through my wot reread, but I'm 99% sure Moridin still has Lanfear's cour'souvra by the time TLB rolls around. So naturally, when Rand wakes in Moridin's body, he'd notice he has a certain... someone, or rather her soul hanging around his neck. I have a whole randfear fic planned out about them meeting again, and going off on silly adventures, she won't leave him cause he still has her soul and her ruined broken heart with him and he won't let her go free just yet. Also bending canon rules by having Lanfear have her original body back by ejecting herself out of tel'aran'rhiod Birgitte style which means some...bonding happens, it's still a work in progress and very self indulgent (why am I even sharing this when no one but me would want that)

6. Elan was in love with both Lews and Mierin

I think he and Mierin might've even been together or shared a closer bond after Lews breaks up with her. An old hc I have is that Elan might've been a professor to a younger (like 50) Lews and Mierin.

I headcanon them as close something more than friends and I think Elan was the first person in Mierin's life to truly care about her and understand her. Of course, this is inspired by season 2 of the show, they had no business being so adorable. Which makes what Moridin does to her later on so much worse...

7. During her time as a young student of the One Power, Mierin had to teach children about their power, one of whom was Lillen aka Moghedien

Lmao ok I had this thought today while I was doing some uni work, I was thinking about the ages of the forsaken and remembered that Moghedien is said to be the youngest among them. An image of a young adult Mierin teaching little Lillen how to embrace saidar poppped into my head, I've been thinking about it the whole day.

Mierin clocks that Lillen has a talent in Tel'aran'rhiod and immediately takes a liking to her. Which is hilarious cause it's canon that Moghedien is stronger than her in TAR, imagine the child you tutored out matches you in a realm you were once the top dog in.

The chosen really would be unstoppable if they were more like a found family.

8. Lanfear is pansexual

Nothing more to it other than I think she would fall in love with the dragon regardless of their gender identity. And come on, I need her to be a girl kisser as a certified girl kisser myself.