#lanfear headcanons

1. Lanfear has borderline personality disorder

2. Mierin was born to da'shain aiel parents

this is the self indulgent one and I feel like is actually 100% canon despite Robert never confirming it. Her favourite person: clearly Lews/Rand. Her rejection sensitivity. Rand rejects her multiple times throughout the books and her reactions are always visceral, from anguish to splitting on him in TFoH AND s3ep8. Needing to be in control and have power over her life and the people around her which probably stems from trauma. BPD is a traumagenic disorder, I have other headcanons relating to this one I'll get into.

And her burning self loathing, I think she tries really hard to convince herself she deserves more and that she deserved Lews/Rand more than Ilyena did, but I think, or rather what I've read and seen in her tone is that she doesn't truly believe that which is why she strives to be in control so much. I think a lot of things in her life were out of her control, the bore being the big one. Which is why I find it so gutteral that she's the only forsaken to have chosen her own name, but later has it stripped away and has another name forced upon her. Then having her soul trapped and the torture and likely sexual abuse she experiences at Moridin's hands as Cyndane.

3. Lanfear is asian

LOOK...I just had some thoughts and this randomly came upon me while I was skimming through the shadow rising, where Coumin, an aiel ancestor of Rand makes a remark about not being taken to train as an aes sedai because he lacked the spark and it sent me into a spiral thinking about aiel aes sedai and aiel forsaken, which inevitably led me to the source of my hyperfixation so of course I had to make it about her in some way, and well aiel Mierin kinda happened. Which is honestly really tragic when I get really deep into the implications of it.

My line of thought was that she was born to aiel parents and at a young age taken by the aes sedai (basically kidnapped) because she had the spark, and they could definitely tell she was going to be one of the strongest channelers of saidar. Aes sedai being aes sedai would not let such an opportunity go.

Also, Randfear implications (yes I will make it about them too) it would be kind of nice for them to relate to being Aiel and not knowing it and hating aes sedai for what they did to them. I have a whole story written out in my head. One day, one glorious day, I will write it out on ao3.

By that I mean I imagine her as having eastern asian features, from the moment she was described as black haired and black-eyed with pale skin, the pieces fell into place. But now, I'm so in love with Natasha's portrayal of Lanfear both in looks and personality, I started kind of mashing book and show Lanfear into one, cause I'm still way too attached to my asian Lanfear headcanon, so I do draw mostly Natasha but with epicanthic folds

4. Mierin's name means "the seas"

Again, I had this thought while skimming through the books, where the sea folk or in the old tongue, atha'an miere, were mentioned, there's not much to it other than "miere" and Mierin sounded very similar. So i dug through the wiki and found "miere" (the sea) + "in" (plural suffix) so I would guess miere + in = mierin (the seas), Look I'm no language expert.

5. Rand has Lanfear's cour'souvra after the last battle

And these would be the spoilers, I'm halfway through my wot reread, but I'm 99% sure Moridin still has Lanfear's cour'souvra by the time TLB rolls around. So naturally, when Rand wakes in Moridin's body, he'd notice he has a certain... someone, or rather her soul hanging around his neck. I have a whole randfear fic planned out about them meeting again, and going off on silly adventures, she won't leave him cause he still has her soul and her ruined broken heart with him and he won't let her go free just yet. Also bending canon rules by having Lanfear have her original body back by ejecting herself out of tel'aran'rhiod Birgitte style which means some...bonding happens, it's still a work in progress and very self indulgent (why am I even sharing this when no one but me would want that)

6. Elan was in love with both Lews and Mierin

I think he and Mierin might've even been together or shared a closer bond after Lews breaks up with her. An old hc I have is that Elan might've been a professor to a younger (like 50) Lews and Mierin.

I headcanon them as close something more than friends and I think Elan was the first person in Mierin's life to truly care about her and understand her. Of course, this is inspired by season 2 of the show, they had no business being so adorable. Which makes what Moridin does to her later on so much worse...

7. During her time as a young student of the One Power, Mierin had to teach children about their power, one of whom was Lillen aka Moghedien

Lmao ok I had this thought today while I was doing some uni work, I was thinking about the ages of the forsaken and remembered that Moghedien is said to be the youngest among them. An image of a young adult Mierin teaching little Lillen how to embrace saidar poppped into my head, I've been thinking about it the whole day.

Mierin clocks that Lillen has a talent in Tel'aran'rhiod and immediately takes a liking to her. Which is hilarious cause it's canon that Moghedien is stronger than her in TAR, imagine the child you tutored out matches you in a realm you were once the top dog in.

The chosen really would be unstoppable if they were more like a found family.

8. Lanfear is pansexual

Nothing more to it other than I think she would fall in love with the dragon regardless of their gender identity. And come on, I need her to be a girl kisser as a certified girl kisser myself.

1. Elan and Mierin were lovers

I already mention how I think Elan was in love with both Lews and Mierin, but I think he and Mierin were actually together in some way, maybe not fully committed lovers, I don't think Mierin would let herself love so completely again. But definitely something more than friends.

I feel they would take solace in each other's company after Lews, even if they can't complete each other without him, they keep each other together. Mierin gives Elan the will and hope to hold onto life longer, that maybe existance isn't so bleak, she's the silver moonlight that lights his path in darkness.

3. Ishamael and Lanfear had to hide their relationship from the other chosen

He takes care of her volatile emotions and vulnerable state and treats her with gentleness only one other ever has, she's lost her sun so she looks to the earth to tether her back to sanity. He's the gravitational pull that keeps her grounded and away from the darkness of the void.

BUT, they're also destructive to one another and themselves, she's extremely self destructive and he likes to destroy, they are like a raging wildfire, they bring out the worst in each other sometimes. She never wants to let him see her completely in case he abandons her like Lews did, but what she doesn't know is that he already loves all of her, even the darkest parts of her, because he knows she'd accept the darkest parts of him too.

2. Elan swearing to the DO is one of the reasons Mierin chose to swear as well

obviously not her main reason, but I think there's something in seeing the only person you're close with go where you can't follow and following anyways because you know there's nothing, no happiness or good in staying in the Light. Remember: Mierin joined the dark 50 years after the bore was drilled which means she spent 50 being shunned by the public, possibly being bound on one of the rods, and being seen as the reason this utopia is falling into complete ruin because all her coworkers who were with her when it happened are dead either by the blast or by suicide because the backlash was so great. Point is; my girl suffered, and I think Elan and Lews were the only thing keeping her together, so when Lews rejected her one last time and when she found out Elan joined the dark...yeah I think the decision to follow him is fairly obvious.

Based of chapter 36 in the dragon reborn when Perrin was spying on them in tel'aran'rhiod, they throw insults at one another but I couldn't help but feel they were less hostile to each other than most of the other chosen. So I am thinking along the lines of how Siuan and Moiraine had to hide their closeness from the tower, Ishy and Lanfear were forced to hide themselves from the others as well in case any of them get suspicious. Which isn't that far from canon for the chosen in general, a lot of them made little groups to plot together against the others.

This makes me want to write a fanfic now (I have too many ideas and too little time or skill 😭). Imagine them stealing kisses and hugs when they get the time to be alone together like in season 2 in the show. Imagine Ishamael breaking down after getting to hold her again after 3000 years where he was half awake and she in a dreamless sleep. Imagine Moghedien spying on them in tel'aran'rhiod 💀 she would and she'd absolutely blackmail them.

4. Elan was the first to go searching for Mierin in the ruins of the sharom along with Lews

Of course, we have no idea what happened to Mierin when the sharom exploded, other than that she was lucky to have survived, but we don't know HOW she survived.

I disliked what they did in the show, having her swear her oaths right away during the disaster, sure it was plausible, but I find it so intresting about her that she isn't actually the first chosen to swear, but it was ELAN. So what better time to have him "meet" his future god than when he is rescuing a person dear to him from a horrible and painful death?

I also put Lews there cause no way he'd let anyone, especially not Mierin or Elan die a horrible death.

5. Elan, Mierin and Lews are childhood friends

This headcanon ties into another headcanon from my other post, about Mierin being born as da'shain aiel and taken by aes sedai young because of her raw power.

Adding onto that headcanon, Mierin was taken to what is basically the Age of Legends equivalent to the white tower, a place where exceptionally young and powerful channelers live who don't have the privilege of being born to parents who are channelers or prestigious in any significant way. Given that channelers live waaaay longer than non-channelers and non-channeler parents not having the exact means to care for a channeler youth.

Anyways, Elan, a teenager and Mierin, a young girl meet each other and a young Lews there. They spend a lot of time together, they hold each other through the nights and on specifically painful days they snuggle up in the same bed (like novices in the white tower 😭😭😭). Mierin's power is blocked due to the trauma she experienced being taken away and Elan guides her through it gently, he doesn't believe the beatings help her in any way and he's right. Also, Elan and Mierin are both dreamwalkers and they share similar classes (a bit different due to saidin/saidar, but they still see each other there often)

I'm sorry I got sad thinking about baby Mierin and baby Elan and baby Lews 🥲🥲.

6. When he was resurrected as Moridin, the shock, the dark one and the true power killed whatever feelings he held for Lanfear.

This is an instance of me merging show and book canon together into a headcanon, cause I am very attached to ishyfear despite them being downright hateful to each other in the books, so I had to justify to myself why his show character would ever do what he did to Lanfear later on in the books.

It's known that the true power drives whoever wields it insane, and it's canon that Ishamael/Moridin used it so much that multiple saa appear in his eyes. We also know the dark one isn't kind to the chosen he resurrects, so who knows what happened to him.

Anyways, that's all just my pathetic attempt to justify to myself why he'd willingly mindtrap, abuse and assault her. He was so far gone, there was nothing but the need to break the wheel left, he was completely stripped of his humanity. But...BUT there are instances even in the books where he seems to shine through, specifically with Rand, BUT also with Cyndane/Lanfear, it's interesting to note that Cyndane is the only female chosen who's not being tortured by Shaidar Haran. Although Moridin doesn't treat her well either, I feel like it's still of some importance, and there's also that he seems to let her have some freedom to roam tel'aran'rhiod in AMoL.