#ishimori

i fjeel so cringe HGGH ENKIMORI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ijsut think. It's. Cool. That ljke. Uhm. Uhm. They both go through horrific godawful things so young (enki's ritualistic murder of his twin sister or him losing the battle for his life as a child and literally living off of insects in a well and ishimori being a literal child bride w obedience beaten into them, both having the notion of life inherently being unfair smashed into their skulls rly young) and then that eventually culminates in them enacting bloody, violent revenge n a spiral into them both sort of seeking a way to fill the void in them n I'm so fucking. Auggjgjhgh something something enki crucifixion and ishimori's repeated attempts at self destruction to the point of spending time among the bunnymasks to annihilate their sense of self and uhm uhm uhmggfhhghjgghggjgh GOD!!!!! AAAGAGHHHGH!.!!!!!!!!! empty husk of a person to empty husk of a person communication I'm gonna slam my head in the fridge door. Then the fact that both of them curdle into embittered and at times cruel and vindictive people bc of the hand that was dealt to them n them both essentially learning too early that they can only rely on themselves and ohhhghhghghf. I also think ishimori wld enjoy enki a lot despite themselves because he doesn't lie to them. He's going to be violently and brutally honest and they admire that so much bc they've only ever known honeyed words n stupid saccharine smiles and enki isn't any of it but he's still a puzzle (and a mirror to them too in a way) to them and ijm so . AuaghGHAAAAAAAAUUUUGH!!!!!!!! IM SICK!!!!! their taste in men is SOOO SHIT

they begin circling eachother like feral animals in the woods and there's nothing but contempt but there's the fact that they both feel So familiar to one eachother, that they're broken in similar shapes. ishimori delights in his anger but they grow to care for him and she HAAAATES that so much because the thought of vulnerability is enough to make them sick whereas enki is met with somebody who can actually keep up with him and doesn't flinch away from his cruelty or nasty words and idk they pull eachother back from losing their minds more than once because they care in that nasty, fucked up 'you are still of more use to me alive sellsword, get up' / 'you are the most intriguing creature I have had the displeasure of knowing and it would be a pity to see you cease to be here of all places' (practically a love confession) way of theirs bc they don't know what love really is n God. GODDDDD

bc what Is love to two people who haven't ever known it truly . Especially when enki has dismissed anything to do with the heart as a petty distraction and a weakness and a rot to be burnt out while ishimori jumps from lover to lover over the years trying to fill the pit in his chest but has never in their life let themselves feel anything warm like that to the point that they wouldn't know gentleness if it smacked them upside the head