#irthunen

I received word from the outpost liason that the monarch has elevated Newlife to a barony. That sounds more impressive than it is; a fortress is governed directly by a democratically elected mayor, but any settlement that lasts long enough to accumulate a decent population and some semblance of wealth is honored (read: forced) to nominate one of its own to the position of governing noble. These dwarves are meant to be layabouts who report back directly to the monarch, but in practice it rarely works that bureaucractically. Nobody can afford not to work out here, and a settlement worth the dirt it's dug out of will strive to nominate someone who can be expected to prioritize real work over issuing unnecessary work orders.

Enter our nominee: Zuntir Trumpetlocks

[Description in alt]

As you can see from the attached transcript from her interview, she has no particular attachment to any produced goods. Believe it or not, a simple list of preferences is step zero of the selection process. Personality testing doesn't come at all if the candidate has any item preferences whatsoever, which can sometimes prove problematic. Our dungeon master was actually the third dwarf to pass the pre-interview.

Compared to the first two candidates, both of whom dreamed of bathing the world in chaos, (and who doesn't, at least a little, right?) she's almost too perfect. The everydwarf can always appreciate a noble who hates the weaponization of power, and her personally hating war and sacrifice and valuing fair trade make her absolutely shiny compared to any of the rest of the unwashed masses here.

It's always good to have nobility who are just a little broken in from life at your settlement. You don't want some fresh-faced kid whose beard is still growing in patchy to suffer his radical personality shifts while in office and decide that he wants to wage war on the nearest neighbors.

We're looking forward to seeing what she makes of the place from here. Assuming that she lives long enough to make any sort of difference, that is.

Newlife the Tower of Insanities was originally established in Granite 126 under the more traditional name of Newlife. Erected on an otherwise uninhibited landmass, the expedition party of The First Morality departed from the war-torn land of their home for something a bit more peaceful, where a grand project could be undertaken in relative peace. The fortress's epithet, Urdim Zarut "the Tower of Insanities," was earned by its nature; a sun-intolerant species, Dwarves typically carve their fortresses out of mountains—or, in a pinch, a hole in the ground—for both safety and resources. That those dunderfucks across the channel have opted to construct a wooden skyscraper in the middle of the savage badlands is a baffling bit of trivia to share over a goblet at a nice dark inn, back in civilization.