#irish streamer

Lately, I was doubting my Capability to be a streamer. Not because of the Number of Viewers who watch me. But because of the Type of content that I put out there.

I have never been good at Gaming, even when I was younger the talent was never there. Though, The only good Thing I was able to do was sit down and play some Black ops 3 zombies for hours with my older brother. That was about it. Any PVP game I was always bad at doing.

I had the talking bit down, communicating with my friends and the random people that I played with. So when I did start streaming, it only took me a few days to get into the swing of things. Thankfully.

But now as I'm streaming longer and going through the Trenches of getting no follows (after getting a boost of Follows.) And struggling to keep my Viewers interest. I'm wondering if I have what it takes to be a streamer Full time.

I love and have a Large Bit of passion for streaming. And I'm so greatful for the people who do stick around and watch my streams. They make me laugh, cry and Lagg when they do Nice things for me. E.g Subbing, bits and tipping.

So last night I took a Big Step back and Watched some of the youtubers I used to watch when I was a child. It made me feel so determined to still push past it. That the first year of streaming will never be easie. It takes a lot of Consistancy. Behind the scenes work. And much more to grow on Any platform. As well as Growing and finding new ways to improve.

But now, as I'm writing this. I'm wondering if it was more being insecure about what I stream? Or maybe it's the way (sometimes) I completely forget to engage with my viewers to actively hook them in. I only do that with Over watch. Dead by Daylight I've gotten so used to Saving doing gens and looping while talking and ranting about stuff.

It's so enjoyable, and fun. But I do like to Stream a lot of games. Find people in that Fandom.

But at the end of the day I know I have this bad Habit of Pushing myself down. And when I do enjoy something instead of liking it I end up despising it. And eventually I stop doing it all together.

But if anything. My followers is the only reason I will never stop. I refuse to let them down ❤️ I'm so thankful for each and every one of them.

Twitch - letsplaywithiris

I have my siblings and father told that I stream. But I certainly never gave then my channel or socials names. I don't like the idea of them seeing that side of me. Even when 99% of the time. They hear it through the walls.

It's like my streams and discord Is my happy and safe place. I don't like the idea of giving it up.

If my family knew of it. It certainly would be.

Not that they wouldn't be supportive because they would be! But still. It all just feels wrong and different.

So my sister has Covid. I share a room with her and ironically I've never caught it. I don't know how, I don't care to know how. I just know. I never got it.

But yesterday's stream I was very Quiet.

Imagine Streaming in a room with someone who is sick? Talking and trying to keep your energy up while entertaining others. It's extremely hard.

I didn't want to make her worse (sore head) and honestly I would have felt a lot worse if I did.

So today I've decided to just Turn emote only chat on and stream without my mic on. It may be more or less entertaining, I'm not fully sure. I just know that until my sister has better health, I physically can't do it to her.

If anyone has been sick you understand that anything and everything could possibly Irritate you. I know for me, when I'm sick. I need complete quietness.