#irenechan

so today, nothing special happened or anything much this week. well actually alot, my mom got a new phone. the iphone and she's pretty hyped about it which i am absolutely glad about because making her happy makes me happy even thought she has a bunch of question and it's kinda annoying but i love her nonetheless...

two friend of mine started dating and woot woot for them. i support it but in a way it is kinda weird. something's happened so fast and it made me realize to stop sometime on the road to look around and think about everything through. is this what you wanted? is it still the same thing that you want since day one? if not, what can you do to change it. i just dont want life to pass me by and i dont want to look back and think, wow i missed a lot or i didn't even take the time to look around and enjoy the moment. i dont want to be all caught up in my career and getting my work done that i forget about my friends and family. 

honestly, these past three months or maybe starting the summer, it passed me by so quick that i didnt really have a chance to look back. and this week, i think a small chance to look and really look at my family and friends. there are so much i want to accomplish with my career and life, i dont want to miss out on my family because honestly, not everyone stays with you throughout my entire life and i want to spend as much time with them left. 

i honestly have nothing to complain about, i have a supportive mom, a wonderful boyfriend and a couple of friends i can actually call friends. i have the skills i need to make it in the career i wanna go for. i just wish i knew how to manage everything better. i want to be there with everyone and just accomplish great things. i need to figure it out and be there for everyone. i still want to have me time. i honestly, love my me time when i'm just chillng and relaxing, like right now. 

life is pretty good so far. i just wish i had more time with people and be willing to go out. and maybe if my boyfriend wasnt so far away all the time i would be able to hangout with everyone not thinking about spending all my time with him. i love him and everything but sometimes, i got other things that i need to do. i wish he was here everyday, then i wouldnt feel so bad about not spending time with him. 

i have a to write up my prelab and finish both of my labs, i shall hopefully write soon.

-irene

weather: chilly, windy, fairly sunny.

today was a pretty chill day. i went to the doctors with my brother. it was a fairly quick moment. i think the doctor didnt take us seriously though.he quickly asked up what was wrong before he could let my brother finish saying anything he interrupted . that wasnt nice of him.quite frankly, it was rude. so i interjected and gave my two cents of what happened to him and explained to him why my brother was in his office asking for his medical attention. maybe because i didnt dress up like im going to a party doesnt mean that he can treat us like we not relevant. 

i started to notice that i dont like confronting people when they do something wrong. maybe i have always been like this to strangers. i hate saying bad things to people because i have been drilled into my brain that if i do i will get physically hurt in return. there are a lot of crazies outside of this house of mine. i had a discussion with someone that i am close with and he said that i should stand up for myself. i shouldnt let people walk over me. but i think, there is always a place and time for everything. not everything you can stand up for yourself, you can't always talk back to someone. so when is the right time?

is it when the first time they are rude to you? or do you give them a chance, two even? for me i dont have as much trouble confronting to my family or close ones as strangers. maybe because i know their limit. i also know whether they have good intention or bad intentions. and i care about them and i would let them know if they were doing something wrong and i would expect it back. helping each other out. 

and when does that set the boundaries of being a stranger to a friend? when you first say hello? after a couple of hangouts? or after you've known each other for over a month, two , six , a year even? i am so lost as to what to do. 

if i say something, it is not only me and they person will be in the argument, everyone else will be as well. i dont want to say anything because if i do it will cause everyone discomfort. yet everyone keeps telling me to say something, to not say anything. so when is the right time? when is not. 

next post im gonna write about my perspective or questions of being an adult. 

thanks for reading my thoughts and ideas.