#inyeon

so, no, I am not erasing you. you and I exist in the past and there we are still calling each other by those cheesy nicknames and lathering body wash on each other and making each other laugh. I'll let them exist there.

but in this life that I have to continue living? I am going to revolt against every thought and feeling that urges me to go back to those two idiots in love who fell in love but never quite understood how to continue loving.

Inyeon (인연) -> The destiny that binds two people together is not just a ‘chance encounter’: it is the invisible thread that connects the lives of those who were meant to meet, love, help or even just cross paths. Sometimes brief, sometimes eternal, it is the connection written in the stars.

⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐔𝐄𝐃 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄

⠀⠀ evening had settled over seoul with a cool breeze, heralding the start of je-oh's personal hellscape. tonight, it began in a bar called 참소주 (cham-soju), a modest establishment wedged between a weary-looking pojangmacha and a place peddling cheap appliances. outside, the bar wore the stains of the city’s exhaust; the entryway sagged with quiet fatigue, its chipped red-pine door set beneath a rectangular sign whose black letters had long since faded with age. it a was a fitting announcement for one that had seen better days, struggling, like most older bars, against the draw of newer, glossier spots nearby. yet, despite the lonely exterior and lack of booming business, inside a handful of regulars defied the bar's decline. clattering glasses and overlapping conversations rose as drinkers shook off the weight of the day. the place carried just enough life to keep its lights burning, if not its spirit.

⠀⠀ tucked beside a narrow hallway that slipped away toward the restrooms and back office, je-oh kept to himself. a bottle of soju rested at his elbow, untouched, while he scratched at a napkin with a pencil he had pilfered from the bar. beneath the sharp graphite, a stick figure appeared, its tiny limbs soon engulfed by roughly detailed flames. whether the stick figure was him, burning in a fiery boredom, or ( a certain ) someone who’d forced him along on this venture, the interpretation was anyone’s guess.

⠀⠀ jong-seok had called it a quick ‘ pit stop ’ to ink a new debtor, but je-oh knew better than to believe him. in the world of loan sharks, a ‘ few minutes ’ rarely meant just that; the art of the deal could stretch endlessly. while je-oh hadn’t a clue who was currently being exploited back in the office, the specifics hardly mattered. understood the system for securing a signature, the practiced dance of persuasive charm and offhanded menace. if it was taking this long, the outcome, however, seemed inevitable.

⠀⠀ the impulse to fire off a provoking ‘ .ᐣ ’ text flickered across his mind but quickly died. interrupting a delicate process was the fastest way to sour jong-seok’s mood, & the night was still far too young for that.

⠀⠀ then, movement brushed je-oh’s periphery, pulling him back to his surroundings before something dropped onto the seat besides him with a resonant thud. annoyance sparked— company was the last thing he wanted —so he turned, a sharp retort poised on his tongue, only for it to wither as his gaze set upon the violin case resting there. his attention lifted to its owner: a man standing close by, seemingly unaware of je-oh’s presence altogether. what he noticed next was the impeccably tailored suit the other wore. . . the kind reserved for students at yonsei or korea university. that contrast was impossible to miss; wealth stitched into every line of fabric, a shadowed expression carved into features, all set against the shabby backdrop.

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀( 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘵 )

⠀⠀ ❝ 길을 잃으신 모양이네요, ❞ he said, loud enough to cut through the bar’s steady buzz. je-oh shifted, elbows covering his napkin sketch, hands clasped under his chin. eyes dropped to the unfortunate stains marring the man’s shirt, his lips twitching in sympathy. ❝ 소다수면 잘 빠지던데. ❞ with a loose gesture towards the bar, he rose out of his seat. ❝ 내가 바 뒤에서 좀 가져올까 .ᐣ ❞

#PastLives (2023), a VOD on platforms like #AppleTvPlus, is about two Korean-born friends rekindling their childhood bond as adults.

A semi-autobiographical and inspired by real events from the life of its writer-director #CelineSong, the film received 7 nominations at the #GoldenGlobes and 2 nominations at #Oscars including Best Picture.

The #movie has two languages (English and Korean) with English subtitles.

#drama #romance #soulmates

Promise me that when this moment's over and we meet again That we can put everything in the past and stand by each other 

This is what we call fate, it's something we can't deny Will I ever experience another day as glorious as today?

You're a gift upon this exhausting path of life I'll continuously wash and shine our love so it won't rust away Our meeting was short like a drunken affair, but it was real Even though this cannot last, I won't resent it because nothing is forever

This is what we call fate, it's something we can't deny Will I ever experience another day as glorious as today?

i. Compatibility is what you are looking for. A compatible home, a compatible partner, a compatible workplace, a compatible friend circle. Compatible with who you are as a person and the kind of life you want to live. Compatible so that you don’t constantly have to use so much of your energy in trying to fight unnecessary battles simply to exist how you are. When the spaces you are in and the people you are with are not compatible with your existence the way it is, the way you want it to be, there will be constant chaos, distress, and conflict for which you will have to use so much energy. But if you are in compatible spaces with compatible people – not ideal, not perfect, simply compatible – then you can use that energy towards creating and building things that matter to you. Because your everyday choices? They are not being questioned, judged, or blocked.

ii. Lessons will keep repeating themselves until you've learned them. So you have to start paying attention. Realizations in themselves are not lessons learned. Change in actions and thought processes is. So, yes, lessons will keep repeating themselves until you learn them. And even once you have learned them. It's like with how we learned the same subjects in school year after year. Just because you learned Geography in grade 5, does not mean you still did not have to in grades 6, 7, 8, and so on. Life lessons too have additional layers, context, and depth. It can all feel very Sisyphean. But the boulder is never the exact same twice. Similar but not identical.

iii. Just because he was a puppy before, does not mean he is not a कुत्ता (dog) right now.

iv. 인연 (in-yeon) is the fate specific to the meeting of two people, the ties two people share over the course of their lives. Someone you have perhaps comes across in your past life/lives in various capacities. And so, yes, when you come across someone you feel comfortable with, can have meaningful conversations with effortlessly, feel a ‘connection’ with, feel the 인연 with it feels special. But 인연 is also the fate of this life. Maybe in this life you’re only meant to share this very limited, very brief, 인연 with someone. Even if you feel this deep connection. Maybe in this life they are not meant to be your soulmate or your best friend. Maybe they are only meant to be your professor or your neighbour. Let it be so. Accept that fate, accept this life’s 인연 with them. No matter the intensity of the connection. Again, let things run their natural course. There is no other way.

v. I am an open book that even a blind man can read. An open book so heavily and aesthetically self-annotated that people can play me like a fool just for shits and giggles. And while I have started to appreciate humour a lot more in life, I am not okay with my candidness, earnestness, and vulnerability being mocked, manipulated, or misused. I am still not clear on how to protect myself in this aspect but I do know two things clearing — first, forcing myself to change who I am at my most authentic core is not the answer. Second, there, however, does need to be some protection. Think of yourself like a special edition, rare precious book in a fancy, restricted-access library. Only members, who loves books, who value books, who take great care of them, and have a track record of doing so can borrow the book/check it out of the library. Essentially, you must be more mindful of who gets access to you. And like you can continue being your real, authentic self, but you do not have to be that all the time and with everybody.

vi. Speaking about vulnerability, let's talk about the semantics of it for a bit. It's The word 'vulnerability' is derived from the Latin word 'vulnus' which literally means — the ability to wound. Why? Why would you do that with people you don't yet know well + trust to be safe? That's why one of the lessons of this year is the realization to get rid of this blanket vulnerability. It's not some sort of strength, it's simply dangerous.

vii. On that note, conversations, even emotional conversations cannot be an indicator of the actual real (lasting) comfort and intimacy and trust between you and the other person. That only happens naturally over time.

viii. So, yeah, timing and time? It is your friend; not a bitch. Allow people and things time to run their course and reveal themselves to you. There’s no need to feel anxious or responsible to make things with somebody flow a certain way because at the end of the day, no matter what you say or do, things will pan out the way they are meant to. So, trying to rush things, trying to lowkey orchestrate them, or putting so much thought into things like how you’re punctuating your texts is futile. What is meant to be is meant to be and feeling FOMO when it comes to people and relationships only really happens when you create elaborate scenarios in your head before even getting to know somebody.