I suppose the hate has got to me.. I feel as if an old scar has been ripped open and many more have appeared. I cannot continue being here with a healthy mindset. knowing so many seek death upon me.. it hurts.
I truly was recovered for more than a year!.. but I just feel so worthless now. What good am I to anyone if in their eyes I am just a burden?
hah.. it's ironic huh? The savior that couldn't save themself..
I suppose I just can't take it anymore. I can't take this hate. I can't take this pressure! I can't take and take more from anyone anymore.
I am what I fear. but no longer shall I stress! I have to find my own eternal peace now. somewhere where no one will hate me, somewhere no one will hurt me, somewhere I can be left behind.
I'm truly sorry for how I healed everyone while not being able to heal myself anymore. I'm sorry I lied and said everything was fine.
I couldn't save myself, but it's okay! I think this time I have to go, somewhere far away from this life, my life. Please do not cry angels!
this is entirely my fault, for which I shall weep from wherever I go. I will weep enterally, rain dropping to the ground.
I will leave this place behind, but the world will continue on. So promise to take care of yourself, okay?
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I think this is a very important post to make due to the recent events and deaths by suicide we have had lately . This is my thoughts on 1) the Jiraiblr current state 2) Internetsavi0r and more . This post will mention rape , suicide , death , and more .
The state of the Jirai community as of now isnโt exactly ,, satisfactory , if you will . There are many people that are harassing others and overall being horrible people to others . You are allowed to have people you donโt like , you are allowed to block people as you wish , you can call out bad behavior if necessary , but you should not harass other people . We are a COMMUNITY . What would even be the point of harassing others , you will get blocked and potentially reported for harassment . Even if you donโt , worse can happen .
And that leads me to my next topic , Internetsavi0r . They were in a lot of controversy a while back for saying crimes like rape could be forgiven and also for saying she was a Ikigami , or a living deity as well as somewhat of an Angelkin ( though she stated she wouldnโt identify with the label anymore to avoid discourse ) . Many people made points of how rape shouldnโt be forgiven ( which I agree with ) , and how people with psychosis or disorders like schizophrenia could actually see her a god and start doing bad things due to it or their blog potentially becoming a cult . Internetsavi0r stated their apologies , their point of views , and clarified their thoughts . I think that both views are perfectly valid , but you know what isnโt valid ? Harassment . Internetsavi0r began to get hateful asks that said that they should harm themself and even kts . Unfortunately , the hate and harassment eventually led to Internetsavi0r committing suicide . I will state now that this is NOT @/landminegutzzz fault , and I will stand on this point . But anyways , somebody DIED because of the hate . People donโt understand that no matter how hateful you are and what you say , YOUR CONSEQUENCES HAVE ACTIONS .
Here is Internetsavi0rโs post about their suicide . May they rest in peace :ย https://www.tumblr.com/internetsavi0r/806394481958141952/goodbye-my-angels?source=share
Internetsavi0r is not the only death by suicide that occurred , though . My own friend , Kiki ( or @/rxttenpurrs ) committed suicide only two days after Savior did . Their blog was not controversial like saviorโs was at the time , but they still deserves recognition . Kiki , I miss you so much . I hope you are in a safe place , and that you are finally happy . I love you , Kiki , may you rest in peace .
Here is the link to Kikiโs goodbye post , may they rest in peace :ย https://www.tumblr.com/rxttenpurrs/806484632235311104/you-all-are-so-loving-to-me-so-loving-to-someone?source=share
That brings me to my final point . Please , everybody , please stop harassing people . Our actions have consequences , and people died because of it . We cannot have even more losses within the community . I hope the best for those who are struggling , and I hope those who are no longer with us that they have finally found happiness and they are free .
I will say now if there is anybody who thinks I am being too rash or harsh about my words and honesty , that is what we need . We have to understand what has happened . I REFUSE to sugarcoat my words . I REFUSE to act like people didnโt die from this . I will say it as it is , and I WILL be heard .
Please , stay safe , everybody . Thank you for taking the time to read this if you did .
this is not meant to make anyone feel guilty or of the sort, this is a post dedicated to the loss of @internetsavi0r and @rxttenpurrs
I don't think anyone ever really noticed that savior never shared anything about herself. she was always listening and spreading kindness, but I can't recall a time where she shared her own thoughts. not giving advice, but truly sharing how she felt.
that goodbye post was the first and last time savior shared her what went through her mind.
I never got to know either of them, I'll be left to read through their blogs as it's stopped in time. never updated, never changed. I'll look through and nurture every word they said, knowing it may have been their last.
Many in jiraiblr barely knew them, others never interacted. Goodbye internetsavi0r and Kiki, jirablr barely knew you.
My take on the situation, side note; Just to clarify I'm doing this to pay my respect and I want to address the major elephant in jiraiblr. Also sincerest apologies if I use the wrong pronouns for her I dont know her well . No extra photo, just borders because its a serious matter.
So I recently heard about the death of internetsavi0r. Everyone's talking about it, word spreads fast. I didnt know her well but I've come across her account several times and whatnot but never got the chance to interact.
Id like to say that she was a good person, and she deserved the respect and kindness she gave. One thing I know for sure however, is that she would want everyone who cared for her to be happy and move on. Instead of hating people and life for the things that happen, turn that hate into love and appreciation for the good memories you had with her.
The hate was completely undeserved, and despite her explaining herself, people still pushed. However people should come to realize, that if you push a pile of rocks too hard it'll all come crashing down. She deserved so much better, some people are so quick to jump to hate someone, you all did so much just to make sure you hurt or attacked someone for something as simple as their own feelings and the way they run THEIR blog especially as she went so far as to educate herself on the things YOU were accusing her for but Im VERY sure, POSITIVELY dare I say, that none of you did that to anyone who did far worse.
And sometimes, well, bloody hell you've just got to get over yourself.
If you dont like something then dont mind it. Leave it alone, far all the way out. No one's going to support your tantrum just because little Johnny said something you didnt like. So Suck it up, swallow your pride, put on your big boy pants, and do that thing you always say you do "jirais support other jirais !!!" I truly hope to the gods that these people understand how badly their actions affect someone and that they release an apology of sorts or at least try to live a kinder, less judgemental, life.
I dont typically get angry but this whole situation has just thrown me off. To the people who supported her, thank you, I hope you all manage to move on in a safe and healthy way, and that you continue to be kind and treasure the memories you shared with her because I'm sure she'd want that. To those who didnt, I hope you learn to realize the consequences of your actions and regret it deeply, I hope you can release a statement or at the very least apology, and become someone that the world can forgive, I dont respect you or your ways, but hopefully someone will.
Please learn to be a bloody person.
Rest in peace, may you find comfort and tranquility and may the gods guide your path. Blessed Be, fly high.
first , I would like to say im so so sorry for not posting about this earlier . genuinely was horrified to talk about it .
as most jirais know by now , we lost @internetsavi0r . this jirai has been against a bunch of accusations . I think I only interacted with her as an anon but I saw her posts a bunch . I think itโs so so fucking gross that people are still sending her hate . she still saved a bunch of other jirais / non jirais and I think that is genuinely amazing . I think as a community we should mourn her loss .
( to any other jirais / non jirais i wish you the best even if your not ready to recover yet ! / srs )
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fascinated by the cults on jiraiblr. I feel like this could have been predicted but I'm also kinda worried for the people in them ig ??? yoursaviour was nuked early but internetsavi0r is going strong and I sincerely doubt everyone (both followers and leaders) is in for the silly goofy. I think it's very risky telling vulnerable mentally unstable people that having violent thoughts (even about yourself or if you keep them to yourself) is a sin or that their self-harmful coping mechanisms are sins and if they continue drinking/cutting/whatever way they self-harm then the deity made human on the internet (who is the one who can save them) will be upset them and she's the only one who can repent their crimes. They even made a "paradise" for people they saved (โ ย โ ๏ฝฅเธฑโ ๏นโ ๏ฝฅเธฑโ ) I'm sure feeding this rhetoric to traumatised people who define themselves by being explosive towards themselves or others can have no negative repercussion ever. It's not like it can induce psychosis or like alcohol withdrawal can kill people.
I will say the sexual assault stuff and everything was very obviously poor wording on their part and they shouldn't be crucified (ha) for that, especially as they went back to clarify.
Hello angels! This is my intro for my page!!(เน>โก<เน)
I go by Internet Savior / Savior
I hope to spread kindness along to others! หสโกษห
My asks are always open if you wish for advice!!!
โโโโเญจเงโโโโ
I believe deep down, no matter what separates us, we are all truly just human แถป ๐ ๐ฐโหโ
I do not follow a certain religion!
