So in my last therapy session my mom joined in and we FINALLY reached a breakthrough.
My mom has always seen me as uninterested in my family’s lives. I leave the dinner table early, I don’t talk a lot, and I act spaced out sometimes. In reality though, I am extremely interested in everything going on around me. However, I pick up information before it is even discussed so I know beforehand how my father’s day was for what my mom did today. Conversations also make me worn out so I get up and leave sometimes.
I've known that I'm an introvert. My personality type is INFJ. Mom didn't really understand what that meant. A few weeks ago I told my mom about being an introvert. I explained what all that meant. I wrote a long text message and sent it to her. It helped, but the problem wasn’t resolved.
Well at therapy my therapist started talking about Internal and External processors. The difference in the two is how people express their thoughts. External processors generally talk out loud and share their thoughts openly. Internal processors don’t need to talk out loud because they already had the conversation/thought/experience in their mind. Of course there are different levels of each processor (Extreme External and Extreme Internal). I am a Semi Extreme Internal processor. I think a lot inside my head, not aloud for everyone to hear.
This combined with being an introvert explained to my mom why I don’t talk much. Not only do I not feel the need to talk as an internal processor, but I don’t want to as an introvert.
My therapist told me that maybe I should start sharing my thoughts and ideas. Like when I come to a conclusion in my head, share the beginning, middle, and end of my process. She also explained to my mom that it is perfectly natural and healthy for introverts to want to go spend time in their “hamster ball” by themselves so they can recover some energy.
My relationship with my mom has really improved since.