hi jen,
i’m a younger lgbt, and i was wondering how you find a community. i bounce around a lotta groups that’re around my age, but i keep finding myself wishing i had older people to ask questions to or to learn from, and i’m not sure where to even begin finding those people. do you have any help?
thanks !
Hi and the first step is knowing you are craving a trusted community you can relate to and feel safe in. The LGBT+ Community can be a bit of a misnomer because there is no way we ALL share one thing but I understand that when we stand together it feels like on some level other letters of the acronym "get" who we are.
Sometimes we crave the wide open boundaries of a gay pride event or a group that encompasses all of "us". Other times we really yearn for those with whom we share the most in common, common experiences, similar stories and maybe even who we most look like or see ourselves in. Listen to yourself above all others and be honest with who makes you feel the most seen, what people recognize you for who you are. Don’t mistake the unbridled praise of strangers for being “like them” for how you really relate and feel about yourself as it pertains to others.
Start with groups like PFLAG or Local Pride groups who work in or near your home. These are great volunteer opportunities and you will get exposed to a variety of people. Getting involved with nonprofits of any variety where other LGBT+ people might be found (animal rescue, food banks, elder outreach, or environmental causes to name a few) can help you expand your friend group, give you great resume fodder and introduce you to a large variety of people and experiences.
As you learn and grow and share time with people you will be able to narrow down the people with whom you most relate and start to put energy into that particular community. Start or join a book club. Check FB ( old fashioned but still useful) for groups that match your interests or check out apps that give you the option of friendship searches. Search for elder groups online that fit within your boundaries of comfort and reach out to them.
Lesbians might have a regional OLOC or gay men often have local “Gay man social and support groups” (google it for your area or a nation wide list). There are likely several queer social groups nearby, even in mid-sized cities. You get the idea.
Online connections are a thing if you are regionally isolated. Join discords, FB or even tiktok groups to find others who fit your needs. Please be careful, cautious and skeptical with anyone on line. Having an alertness to the fact that anyone can be anyone on the internet will keep you safe but finding those spaces can be a start to IRL groups or people in your area.
I hope this helps.
