#interdimensional shenanigans

Happy day two of @flufftober! Today’s prompt is “pet sitting.” This drabble also fills my U5: Transported to an alternate universe square for the Bucky Barnes Bingo.

Title: Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Trans-Dimensional Wedding Invitation, Men After Midnight Are Overrated)

Author: Jesmalestiel

Rating: General

Warnings: None

Category: M/M

Pairing: Bucky/Clint

Characters: Bucky Barnes, Clint Barton

Summary: Proving that they can’t go five minutes without supervision, Kate is interrupted from pet sitting right after she started via Clint and Bucky returning with new hair cuts, new wedding rings, and no good excuses for why Kate’s invite got lost in the time vortex.

Technically references parts of a series that hasn’t been fully written out yet, can easily stand on its own!

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/71226811

Ah, right on time– mucking with timespace usually ensures that your package gets where and when it needs to be. It’s banged up, as seems to be the usual, but it’s lovingly adorned with matsu-themed washi tape just for giggles.

Inside are a few gifts– six color coded bath sets, some (also color coded) concert souvenir hand towels, a few good handfuls of candy and individually packaged cookies that haven’t been thought of yet in their timeline, and seven little envelopes. One for each brother, and one labelled “❤💙💚Other mom & dad💜💛💖”

If all goes well, they should fall into their usual order when read.

“Hey, Osomatsu! Osomatsu here– don’t freak out!! Seriously, it’s us!! Well, all six of you. From another world. I know, it’s trippy. Our 60s counterparts were easy to accept it, open minds and transcendental whatever whatever. So! I know what you guys are thinking. Psst. Your turn, Karamachu. Make niichan proud!”

“Don’t call me that, aniki. How can this be, you may ask! How can our souls, lovely as they are, manage to be replicated? The truth? We haven’t a clue either! ✨ Karamatsu, believe me when I say, sinful man to guilt guy, that the versions of you over here are a bit more used to dealing with commercial tie-ins. 💙 Choromatsu, take it away!”

“What you know of the pop slash idol ‘machine’ has advanced past what you may know. Totoko finally achieved her idol dreams, and eventually took us along for the ride! (So sweet, right???) Thankfully, unlike many people in a similar position, we’re allowed some degree of freedom, both as a person and artist. See Ichimatsu for more details.”

“Yeah, it’s all fluff and filler and schmaltz, but things are shitty, you know? We’re here to be stupid mindless entertainment. To be honest, it’s not the worst. Somehow, we’ve accidentally made everyone think we’re charming. You should know for a fact that that’s hard as hell. Jyuushimatsu?”

“We do what we can! As long as people are happy and listening, that’s good, right? I know you guys might be worried about your rock star cred, but it’s good, I promise! We’re not you!! Well, uh. We are. Aaaaah, this is confusing, right? But! This confusing thing means we have different images! Go, T⚾tty!!!”

“You guys have more of an earthy vibe! You’re natural, boisterous, rowdy. And your fans don’t freak out as bad as ours when you’re in public with hot people! Meanwhile, we’re all squeaky clean and sugar sweet, and… we make sure to be very clear about being the loser virgin nerds we are. Other mom and dad, your turn! Love you!💖”

On Matsuyo and Matsuzo’s letter, there’s a little bit from all six.

“You handle dark chocolate, we’ll take white. I’m not gonna make dirty jokes. To (y)our parents, at least. The theme: opposites!”

“Your concept: dark and sinful. Indulgent, luxurious, late to rise and easy to be tempted.”

“We’ll be the opposite! Crisp and clean, perky in the mornings, sweet to a fault. It’s a lie, but we can fake it for 30 second slot.”

“Pick a song that you think suits the whole dark chocolate vibe. We’ll pick ours. The clash should hopefully be godawful, and that’s half the point.”

“The costumes won’t be that bad! Our people made sure they were soft and stretchy, not too costumey. More like 'hey! Here’s a shirt, pants, jangly bits, blahblahblah!’”

“We put in this good word for you (and negotiated your pay for it too~), so we’re counting on you!”

“Sextuply yours,

Osomatsu!

Karamatsu💙

⭐Choromatsu

ichimatsu

JYUUSHIMATSU🔆

and 💖Totty💖”

Right underneath are some rather flashy signatures, because their basic handwriting isn’t as fun as, say, cat or rabbit shapes. The signatures are odd, but in the letters? From Jyuushimatsu’s oversized oversized chicken scratch, to Totty’s girly, bouncy lettering, to Choromatsu’s almost typeface-like exactitude, that’s their handwriting to a t.

F r e a k y .

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The boys scramble through the presents, fussing over the toiletries (“For when we get a real bath!”, cheers Choromatsu), and oohing over some of the unfamiliar snack material. Then they find the notes.

Osomatsu reads the one addressed to him, then glares at his brothers. “This some sort of joke? Which one of you forged my handwriting?”

“I don’t think it’s a joke, Osomatsu-niisan.” Choromatsu reaches into the package again. Tucked into the side of the box is a rolled-up something or other. Upon unrolling, the boys witness... the whiteness. The six of them, but clean cut, twinkly, and dressed in well pressed white uniforms, each with a badge, a sash, and a big fluffy accent in their favorite colors (in pastel, but still.) The contrast theme immediately becomes clearer. These bizarro boyband versions of them were dressed up as angels. Their own costumes included horns, wings, and tails that'd blend right into their hair and clothes.

“Alternate dimension opposites from the FUTURE. Whoa. Better call Scully….” Jyushimatsu is stunned. And thrilled. “And… does this make us the cooler ones?”

“By default, I’d say, if they’re all NKOTB on us….” Ichimatsu snorts.

Meanwhile, Choromatsu’s a little swept up. “Totoko would do that for us? She’s so sweet! So cute!”

“OUR Totoko wouldn’t. She doesn’t even e-mail.” Osomatsu grumps, but then cheers up a moment later. “But maybe after she sees us in this….”

Ravage looks up from her dish of energon gels. "Is this a general statement, or is there a silent 'with you' on the end?" she asks, confused, and then looks to either side of herself to see if Rumble or Frenzy is filming this.

i literally cannot believe i never posted this... it’s from halloween last year!

For their first foray into advertising, the Shady Pines go a little bit sexier than expected for the Ohayo Pori Choco cookies. The commercial opens to a dimly lit, warm-colored set, draped with chocolate colored fabric. It feels simultaneously wide-open and very intimate, with the lights flickering as if from a nearby fire.

While the boys play a version of “Sex and Candy”, the camera slides over to a shot of the band, surrounded by deep-colored satin curtains and oversized pillows. The firelight glints off of horns and fangs as they play, giving an eerily seductive effect.

Long shots of the band are interspersed with close-ups of each of the boys lounging lazily among dark sheets and jewel-toned pillows in their signature hues. Jyushimatsu hugs his pillow close to his body. Todomatsu traces a little heart shape onto the sheets beside him. “Morning already?”

Choromatsu bites his lip and pulls a drape partially in front of his face. Ichimatsu rolls across his cushion, sleepy-eyed and somber. “Time to get moving.”

Karamatsu runs a hand down the neck of his guitar, improbably in bed next to him. And at the very end of the verse, Osomatsu looks up from his deep red velvet pillow and bites down into a chocolate-dipped biscuit with a wink. “But it’s better to stay in bed....”

Before the chorus can start (and anything that might scandalize the ad board lyrically), a voiceover drops in. “Ohayo Pori Choco. Dark chocolate. Wake up with indulgence.”