The Ego thinks in judgments. Awareness thinks in questions.
Generally speaking awareness or observation is simply to look. Yet this is not the complete truth. Practicing self awareness makes it sound as if all we are doing is observing what is happening in our mind.
While that is true, there is another dimension to this phenomenon of observation which is never spoken about. This phenomenon is that of intentional thinking. This is not ordinary thinking which is random, uncontrolled and unintentional.
The thinking associated with self awareness and observation is more direct, controlled and intentional. It is to say, âLet me observe how I have been thinking about this so farâ, and then examining each thought slowly and deliberately. It is to âhold the problemâ we are thinking about gently in our conscious awareness and asking the question, âWhyâ. Thinking while observing: âWhy am I angry? Why am I triggered? Is it because I feel helpless? Why am I feeling helpless? Is it because I canât make them see myself the same way I see myself? But I never can control the way someone sees the world. Then am I helpless because what they said, has an element of truth to it, and I am unable to reconcile that truth with what I thought of myself?
So it looks like my anger comes from my own momentary confusion about who I am. If I knew myself deeply, their words would be instantly recognized as false or true. Either way I wouldnât be triggered. But I am. I am angry not because of their words, but because those words created conflict within me which I couldnât resolve. So that means I donât know myself as well as I thought I did. This anger has got nothing to do with them. Itâs just a sign that I donât yet fully know myself.â To go into this very slowly, step by step, is Insight meditation. The last line is the insight. This insight creates spontaneous silence. It resolves the anger without having to retaliate and create more conflict. This was all still thinking, but of a different quality altogether.
This thinking revealed the nature of our unconsciousness through the art of questioning. Asking the right question is more important than looking for answers.
The truth about us is hidden in plain sight. All we have to do is look.
â Finding Awareness
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