#insi

3. favorite line/scene you wrote this year

I’m really bad at picking favorite scenes, but I managed to narrow it down to two. There’s a part in this chapter of i that am lost where Aizawa snaps at a bunch of reporters that I just really love. I love when Aizawa loses his shit for his kids; it’s one of my favorite things ever. 

My other favorite scene is the scene from A Study in Mafia Black where Dazai is in the infirmary and Ranpo finally just snaps at him. 

Dazai starts to say something, but Ranpo cuts him off. “Listen. I know why you’re here, both at the Agency and here right now, on this table. I know what Oda made you promise, and I know that you think we don’t need you anymore. I know you always say you want your death to be clean and easy and painless, and you’re so stupid. It’s frustrating and annoying—you thinking you can just go and die without anyone caring. You know it’ll never be clean, right? You’ll always be leaving people behind when you die.”

Dazai is silent for a moment, and Ranpo can feel him cataloguing his words.

“I don’t need to leave anyone behind,” Dazai says.

Ranpo groans. “Why? Because you think we’re done with you just because we’ve beaten Dostoyevsky? Because you think we’d let go of you that easily, that we’re so flimsy that we’ll let you cut us off until there’s no one left for you to leave behind in the first place? Because you don’t think you’re fucking human enough to have people who care?”

Like Ranpo calls Dazai stupid throughout the fic, and he’s very blunt about it, but he keeps a lot of it inside. I like the idea that Ranpo is inherently selfish in the way that I like the thought that every part of the ADA is built on human flaws, doing good out of something more than simple morality. And especially with Ranpo, because I love when selfishness is used to protect people.  

25. a fic you read this year you would recommend everyone read

Again, I can’t choose just one, but basically anything by intimitopia ( @ciaran ), especially their nonbinary girl Dazai fic and this fic that they worked with wondernoise with. I’m obsessed with their characterization of Dazai, and their writing style is just so lovely and beautiful im in love <333 They also write transness so well and they’re the one that made me so obsessed with girl Dazai. 

Another one that everyone has to read I demand it its just so!! good!! is carve your love into my skin by @dontwakethewriter. It’s a Dazai is the Book AU and just like!! Okay the angst is so lovely and I’m utterly in love with how they wrote a lot of details of how Soukoku communicates and like how at the heart of it all, Fitzgerald is still doing everything for his daughter and the cultural connections of how the war crimes the United States committed against Japan would effect an immortal Dazai. They did so much research, and so much of it is beautiful and painful and things I wish I had learned about World War II from other perspectives.  

Lastly and I swear I’ll shut up paper boats by @eijispumpkin. It’s a Banana Fish royalty AU and I swear!! It’s like all of my favorite things, including trans Eiji, nonbinary Ash, their wonderful OC Nahoko, and just!! so much more I love this fic. The world is also so wonderfully constructed, and I’m just in love with the way they put so much thought into every piece of their writing. 

ANYWAY!! I know this was supposed to be one fic but I love So Many Fics and they all deserve love so uh *cough* feel free to ask me for more I will ramble

soul&heart