#inquixcrus

What have I done to deserve you?

By chance, I’ve been assigned to watch over you. 

By choice, you have decided to look after me. 

I thought of myself as your guardian, as I taught you, answered your questions, explained the world and its realities to you. 

But you have assumed yourself as my caretaker, as you hugged me, made sure I was fed, clothed, and well. 

What have I done to deserve you? 

To others, you may be a thing to be feared. 

To me, you are just a person - a boy, a pure soul to be protected.

They overlook the humble curiosity in your blood-red eyes, unabashed joy in your toothy grins, innocent affection in your bone-crushing hugs.

But in you, incongruity becomes only natural. In you, I can take solace from the questionable world, by answering your questions about the world.

What have I done to deserve you?

You love the world, despite the fact that you did not ask to be born into it the way you were. Despite the injustices it had done against you. 

And just as you’ve made sure your love for the world is known, you’ve made sure I knew was loved.

I didn’t love the world. Maybe I still don’t. I have loathed where I come from and I don’t care for where I’m going. 

But I can’t bring myself to hate the world. Not when you’re in it. And I can’t bring myself to look forward to where I’m going, if I know you won’t be there. 

What have I done to deserve you? 

You say you love me. You say it all the time.

I don’t know if we’re a couple. I don’t know if I’m taking advantage of you. I don’t know if I’m depriving you of what love should be. I don’t know if I’m doing enough. I don’t know if I’m enough.

Despite all the answers you have expected and gotten from me, I can’t promise that I’ll ever be able to answer these questions. 

But I know I love you. 

What have I done to deserve you? 

Please forgive me.

Forgive me for being selfish. Forgive me for holding back. Forgive me for my past sins against others who have loved Forgive me for sinning against you in the future, for not being there to love you. 

Maybe I don’t deserve you, after all. 

But thanks for loving me anyway.