#inpowerment

So tonight I did something a little surprising. I went with a friend to a bar. That's not the surprising part. I was the DD. That's not the surprising part. I went with a friend who already had a few. I fought off unwanted advances from a sleez ball. That's not the surprising part. I had water. That's not the surprising part. I took the girl home and made sure she was safe.That's not the surprising part. None of that should be surprising. Except maybe me drinking water and being DD. I like to drink, it's no secret. I drank water. I did so to show someone how much I feel for them. To show them (if only a small start) what I am willing to do for them. THE SURPRISING PART WAS THIS. I sang tonight. In front of an audience. With a mic and everything. I have only ever sang for people in 1) a group (high school) 2) In the car one on one. In an earlier post of mine I shared a picture and project I was working on for the girl I love. I think if I had not made those CD's for her that I would not have had the confidence to get up there and sing in front of complete strangers. This girl gives me the courage to take chances. The entire time I was singing I was thinking of her. Looking out into the crowd, I pictured her sitting out there watching me and beaming with pride as I gathered up the courage to get up on stage. After my song was over, almost everyone I could see was clapping. One gentleman even shook my hand and said to me " You did a good job son. You seemed a little shaky at first but you got through the entire thing and you seemed to hit your stride at the end. Good job man." I just imagined how proud she would have been, going back to our table, kissing her lips, hearing her say "You were amazing baby." ( She has always believed in me. Even when I couldn't. Even when no one else would.)

All thanks to you, my love. I felt like you were there with me tonight. I could not have gotten through it without you. Forever and Ever Babe.

This is a message to all my ex's or friends with partial benefits I will write of you only this once.  You don't deserve anymore than that. I'll start with the most recent:

 D.Johnson -you supplied me with the rejuvenating ability and sense of self. You helped me realize I'm doing quite well without a man. Since you can't commit, don't for the next girls sake please be upfront with her.  You can't let go of your past. That in itself will hinder you from progressing in life period.

L. Solomon- Though we've known of each other for a short time. I believe our meeting was our downfall.  Distance for use was better.  You consume your time with work and can't keep your lies straight.

M. Ramos- You like most men who don't know what they want but don't want to keep there hands out of the cookie jar.  Appearing, disappearing without a trace and reappearing every six months out of the blue is not acceptable. Choose what you want then follow through.

D. Brown- You where and will always stay in the category of a one-night stand.  Your ex-girlfriend made sure of that.  Letting your girlfriend tell me that your choose someone else is not acceptable.  Be a man and make the decision.

Manny- You are one of the slickest, smoothest talking guys i've met so far. I'm pretty sure there will be more.  However your baby momma's, and children will always keep your plate loaded.  So will whatever you did in your past.  If you can't move forward then you are still longing for the past.  I can't be in a future with someone looking longingly to the past.

So for those mentioned this is your one and only shout out.  For those that were not. This is also your shout out.  I'm done dwelling on the past. Time for me to seek out the future that is bright and plentiful for ME.  If you would like to be in it. Things have changed so the so-called standards of accepting anything, those days are over.  You don't have yourself together spiritually, emotionally, physically and financially (in that order, the first to mandatory) then keep walking.