How did I get here?!
Age: Birth - Baby Location: Northern Virginia I am going to try to go back a little bit further so it can be better understood where I come from, what my early years were like through my eyes, & descriptions of some people who need to be explained...possibly. The Facts, Fictions, & Fairy Tales... My birth certificate & my mother both agree that my name at birth was Alyssa Nicole Gardner. My mother admitted that my name was inspired by a young actress who starred in Who's the Boss?... I believe a TV show from the mid 80s considering I was born in 1988. Alyssa Milano. She did grow up to be quite beautiful in my opinion & somewhat famous too I believe. I know her from the more recent show, Charmed. It fits I guess. I was my mother's second child & first & only girl. I was due on December 25th, 1988. I was 3 days late & did not take my first breath until 12:46 pm on December 28. My delivery was extremely complicated & almost tragic. The doctors quickly identified that I was in breech position (head in the ribs, feet first instead of head first, feet in the ribs) & would need to be physically turned around before my mom could begin labor safely. The doctor attempted to turn me by placing his hands on the outside of my mom's tummy & turning me until I was in proper position. This was standard procedure & probably would have been successful if my umbilical cord was not extremely short, measuring at 4 inches. My super short umbilical cord snapped during the attempt to move me & immediately caused major issues. The monitors flatlined moments later... My lungs began to fill up with amniotic fluid- without my connection to my mom via umbilical cord, I started to breathe through my nose & mouth. It was an absolute nightmare for my mom. She was screaming & crying uncontrollably. She was cursing & accusing the entire medical staff of killing her baby... Everybody thought I was dead & unsure of how much damage had been done & didn't have a clue on how successfully it could be reversed, if at all. They wondered if I did make it... Would my brain suffer irreversible damage? Even with all of the chaos, fear, doubt, & lack of preparation- the medical team rushed my mom down the hall into surgery, administered whatever meds, & performed an anchor cut, emergency c section & got me out. My mom says I was purple, black, & blue. Dead. Not one breath or cry. She was absolutely hysterical. She prayed. Within minutes, I took my first breath of air, cried my first cry, & my skin changed from tye dye to normal. I was a miracle baby. My initials are the first 3 letters of ANGel & my mom has called me her angel ever since. I did not suffer any permanent damage & still find the story hard to believe.. Only because I was the baby who was considered dead before alive. It's always given me a funny feeling when I think about it. Oh yeah- did I mention there was a blizzard going on outside on that very day... the blizzard supposedly stopped just hours before we were released to go home days later. Complete chaos. My mom should've known then! I was born into a small family. Duane Allen is my mom's oldest son. She married his dad, Paul, their senior year of high school & Duane was born right before she graduated on May 9, 1984. She was 17. Paul's parents bought them a house & she moved out to start her family. A few years later, I am unsure what year exactly, their marriage began to fall apart unexpectedly... I know the story but it's not mine to tell. Use your imagination here if you want. They separated with no intention of reuniting. My mom & Paul agreed to see other people even though the divorce wasn't final. Custody of Duane was still being decided by the courts. During the time of the separation/custody battle... My mom became pregnant. Yep. That's where I came in...but first I should explain a few things. All prior to my conception. She had been dating a sales consultant for CellularOne named Jeff who was also part of a rock band. It was the 80s. If I remember right, it wasn't anything too serious. They only saw each other on the weekends because of work schedules, Duane, court, & his band stuff. Feelings got stronger & Jeff asked my mom to move across the state of VA with him. I think the band was located in Roanoke or was relocating there?! Something like that. She declined his offer. She was still in the middle of her divorce from Paul & refused to give up on the fight for custody. He left. She stayed. It was over. Then there was Scott. My mom has described her relationship to Scott in a few different ways over the years so I can't say which one is the closest to the truth. I do know that he was a "bad boy" & had been in a ridiculous amount of legal trouble for a 22 year old. I believe I was told he had been incarcerated for various crimes& time frames 19 times at this point. I really don't know how my mom met him. School or a mutual friend I think? Scott was not her boyfriend. Not ever. From what I understand- he wanted to be & was angry with my mom for rejecting his offer to be lovers. He called her for help with one of his many problems one night & was very emotional. She met him at a park to talk to him & offer her advice & support. All I know is that Scott didn't want to talk & lied to my mom so she would meet him. There was a struggle. A lit cigarette held close to her face. Scott was high & angry. My mom just wanted to go home, unharmed. That night didn't go as planned. A few weeks later, after Jeff moved & Scott disappeared... She found out she was pregnant with me. She didn't know who the father was. Jeff & Scott were both informed of the pregnancy. Each of them knew that they might be my father. Paul also was either told or found out that baby #2 was on the way. 9 months later... I was born. Paul was the only one of three who came to the hospital. He is also the only one to have a DNA test performed. Negative. Jeff- I'm not sure how many times he came to see me. I used to have a picture of one occasion. We were at a park. He looked happy to be with me. I also had one letter & one card he sent me. Both signed Daddy. Last one dated in 1990. No communication since. Scott- I think he came to see me once when I was a baby. I don't know what happened to him. I really don't care. With my luck, he'd be the piece of shit that I share DNA with. I'll probably never know. My biological father has not been confirmed. I have wrestled with the idea of locating Jeff first. If he's not my birth father..then I'll decide if I want to come face to face with the scumbag. I really don't care to meet them, develop any kind of relationship with them, or speak to them. I just want to know if I have any other brothers or sisters & I would like the medical history for that half of my bloodline. My mom knew it was going to be a tough few first years... Duane was 5 & I was a newborn. I guess it helped that Duane lived with Paul primarily. My mom was basically on her own raising me at 22 years young. I think we lived at Nana & Grandma's house on McKay St in Falls Church, VA when I was born. Or maybe that was the time frame when Nana actually moved out of Grandma's to get an apartment with my mom. I really don't know. That was back when our family was still somewhat tight... Uncle Bobby- my mom's brother; the coolest gay guy ever; awesome brother & uncle. RIP 2005 Uncle Tim- Uncle Bobby's life partner for a longgg time. Still call him Uncle Tim. Friends on FB. Aunt Pam- my mom's sister. Used to be so much fun. Then her & Uncle Ric split. He took her smiles or something. She's a loner now. No 1st cousins. All my great aunts & uncles are pretty cool. My second cousins are a lil bit older but we all still played when we were little. Uncle Jerry- my favorite great uncle. Used to volunteer as a clown at the children's cancer hospital. Magician for fun & parties. Harley addiction. Took me on my 1st motorcycle ride. Nana's brother (one of them) The above listed family members are the few that always showed me love & that stick out in my childhood memories. We used to get together at Grandma's on McKay St for every major holiday & family BBQs & get-togethers... I started going when I was a super tiny baby!
