#babylife

[photo from pinterest]

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Tap LOVE for love baby one like•••••••

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3 Little Angel 👼 

We were leaving our apartment yesterday and it was unexpectedly chilly. As I turned the corner to the stairs, the scent of woodsmoke hit me - there's a new seikotsuin with a yoga studio that was built just down the road and every once in a while - seemingly randomly - they'll stoke a fire in their woodstove. Yesterday was one of those days. It's not often you smell woodsmoke in the suburbs of Saitama. My childhood home had a woodstove. I mean, it's still there. My mom still lives there. But it didn't get cold enough to justify lighting it last time I went home. Also, toddler. But my older sister and her husband lit a fire in their fireplace and we made s'mores and that's a very good memory. I just wish we could do it more often. I am getting choked up typing this because although artistically this is not exactly a masterpiece, I've struggled to express homesickness because it's become an integral part of who I am. And yet because I lead a comfortable life here I sometimes feel guilty. I did choose to live here. But it wears you down. I miss my hometown. I envy people who stayed there. Working their jobs. Sometimes I dream of going back and working at the supermarket I used to work at (the best job I've ever had, not that I've had many). A small house with a small yard. Maybe I could plant some hydrangeas. There's a Ghibli movie I didn't particularly enjoy, maybe because I grew up listening to Country Roads, and it's Japanese Concrete Road transformation just made me sad. It'd be nice to live with more nature. Like I used to. Have that escape. Where will K escape to? It wouldn't necessarily have to be in the US, I guess. That'd be nice. We could have grandparent sleepovers. I could walk in White Memorial. And my family could play with K. And I wouldn't be so alone. . . . . . . . . . #homesickness#homesick#blog#journal#art#drawing#drawings#illustration#newengland#expat#immigrant#lifeabroad#momabroad#babyabroad#babylife#toddler#thoughts#blog#journal#momblog#instablog#blahblahblah#park#nature#imissnature#suburbanblah#concrete#whining#countryroads#doodles#doodling https://www.instagram.com/p/BvqV1p7HGvW/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=w6myvas6tmnm