Prompt: Judgement Day
Angel Nanaba: You're next, Hanji! When you're saved, you will go to the place of goodness and love!!! ☺️
Demon Levi: And if not, you will be punished. You very very bad girl. 😼
God: Congrats! You're saved!!
Hanji: OBJECTION! I've been a very very bad girl.
Nanaba and Levi (hmm well, not really. He's really looking forward to the punishment): 🤦 idiot.
Omg bb... this prompt... *chefs kiss* a work of art. I wanted to keep it in my inbox till I could do it justice but I couldn’t resist filling this prompt! Thank you for this? I love this and might write a longer one in the future💖💖💖 for now here’s a drabble:
Go to hell for heaven’s sake!
The thing they don’t tell you about death- how stuffy it is. Then again, they don’t tell you much of anything when it comes to the great void. One moment Hanji is alive, the next, she wakes up in a long tunnel illuminated by fluorescent tube lights. And then she sees them.
Nanaba introduces herself first, straightening herself and putting on a big smile and shaking Hanji’s hand, eager to prove that she’s the one with better manners. “I’m an Angel...” she says. And Hanji doesn’t question it because that explains the halo floating atop her head.
Levi goes next with nothing more than a- “name’s Levi...” his voice is nonchalant. Hanji extends a hand towards him and he hesitates. “I’m not gonna bite...” she laughs.
“You do know I’m a demon, don’t you?” He quirks a brow, shaking her hand tentatively. She knows. She guessed as much. But she also realises how handsome he is in his black dress shirt and trousers. Impeccable really.
“Yeah and we’re in hell... Judging by how stuffy it is... You should really install some vents in here...”
“Ah no! This is just the path leading to judgment! We do get complaints but nobody bothers doing anything about it... There’s unclear jurisdiction over these areas...” Nanaba says, “and anyways... Hell is way more unpleasant...”
Levi scoffs, “tch... In heaven you’ll get the privilege of listening to the same tune playing every day until you go insane.”
“Hey! It’s the ambient music! It’s relaxing!” And a lesser, “besides... you learn to tune it out...”
At the end of the tunnel there’s a door with a gold plaque that says “Erwin”.
“Erwin?” Hanji frowns, who’s Erwin?
“Ah... He makes the decisions around here...” Nanaba replied. Hanji inhales, then exhales, trying to rid herself of the nerves.
“Alright Hanji! You’re up! If you’re saved, you’ll come with me to the place of goodness and love and going to bed at 9! 10 if we’re feeling naughty!” Nanaba winks and Hanji wonders if there’s a standard sales pitch. If so, it needs some work. Nevertheless it sounds nice. Heaven can’t be a bad choice!
“Okay,” Hanji replies, heart racing as she places a hand on the knob.
She feels a warm hand atop hers, and it does nothing to still her little heart.
“And if it’s decided that you’re a very bad girl... You’ll come with me and you will be punished...” Levi says. Nothing changes in his voice but Hanji notices the devilish glint in his eyes. She swallows hard. Yeah. Okay. Right. Great. Levi’s hand lingers on hers a little longer than necessary and her pulse quickens impossibly. Dear lord she’s done for.
The door opens and a rush of cool air greets them. It’s nicer in this room. The air conditioning is working and the lights are less glaring, less interrogatory. “You must be Hanji...” says the man with the eyebrows and the neatly combed hair.
“I’m Erwin! It’s nice to meet you! I hope Nanaba and Levi made your transition somewhat bearable?” He smiles, and Hanji nods, trying to take everything in. The mini golf set in the corner, the mug that says “I’m not opinionated, I’m just always right”, the Manila folder with “Hanji Zoë” printed on the front.
“You know... Levi doesn’t usually take cases anymore... He says it’s too much trouble... But it seems he has taken special interest in you...” Erwin laughs and there’s a flash of horror in Levi’s eyes. Hanji can’t help the grin that spreads across her face.
“Shut up Erwin...” he snaps, and Nanaba’s frown deepens. She can never understand Levi’s insolence. She holds her breath. Is Erwin going to punish him for that? Instead the man throws his head back to laugh.
“You must be pretty special for Levi to come all the way here, Hanji Zoë!” Erwin starts, “but unfortunately for him, I’ve looked through your folder and well... Congratulations! You’re saved!”
Nanaba whoops, and the scowl on Levi’s face deepens. This has been most unsatisfactory.
“Wait! No! Objection your honour!” Hanji slams her hand on the folder, preventing Erwin from filing it in the cabinets behind him. “Surely there’s been a mistake! I’m sure I’ve been very very bad!”
“Ha...” Levi chuckles dryly, and Nanaba just watches the situation unfold, swallowing the bitter taste in the mouth left by betrayal.
“Well I suppose...” Erwin blinks, and again, then again, “I mean no one has ever requested to go to hell but I guess... Yeah why not? Go to hell then!” Erwin chuckles, “I always love saying that...” he picks up a stamp, presses it in ink and stamps it across Hanji’s file- “CONDEMNED”.
At that, there’s a flash and Hanji’s in an elevator with Levi, and they’re descending.
“So... You’ve been bad huh...” Levi folds his arms across his chest, leaning against the rails.
“Maybe...” Hanji puffs out her chest. For someone who has only just been dead an hour ago, she’s amazed at how well she’s dealing. “What are you gonna do about it?” She drawls.
“Oh I can think of a few things...”
