things i found when trying to forget you
here is a list. i will return all these items, but some of them may not be in the same condition as when you left them. i am willing to provide compensation for any damage or loss.
i. a brown envelope, unsealed and containing nothing. on it is written nothing. (i remember you gave it to me and told me i could send you anything, whenever.)
ii. a single petal fallen from a violet. it was found between the pages of my dictionary, under ‘L’ for ‘loss.’ (or maybe it was under ‘L’ for ‘love.’)
iii. your smell. tuberose, and something lighter. it reminds me of spring, and that summer we spent trying to hold on to all the flowers before they faded. (in fact, i think that’s where the violets came from. we put all of them in baskets, and some in vases, you put some in my hair. i told you it was useless: we could never put them everywhere.)
iv. your smile. i cut open a blood orange yesterday, and every slice looked like it. (it even dripped red, just like yours. i always told you you looked like a girl who springtime fell in love with, and she loved you and burned you until you emerged full of light.)
v. a note stuck on the wall. it tells me to return the library books. (the funny thing is, the moment i met you, i forgot everything about borrowing. i just wanted to have.)
i’m sorry i kept these things. i’ve sealed the box and mailed it, it should arrive next tuesday. (i hope they don’t get lost.)