“come over here and make me” (sorry it’s not sexy) (also i half-assed my googling so sorry if there’s medical inaccuracies)
*
after starcourt, billy goes to a military hospital in indianapolis. it’s a two hour drive from hawkins, which means steve somehow ends up taking max out there every saturday. (it happens because max says, “neil is going to let me go see billy,” and dustin says, “how are you going to get there?” and steve says, “I’ll take you,” and if anyone notices how fast he offers that up, they don’t mention it).
the first few times, billy is still in a medically induced coma, and steve is able to convince himself that it’s just sick curiosity, coming here. he just wants to see how fucked up billy got without making billy feel like he’s in a freak show. (thinking about it like that makes steve wonder if billy’s got any leftover superpowers from the mind flayer, like the ability to mind meld with el, or travel back and forth between the upside down, or, like, turn invisible or fly or something cool like that).
dustin walkies steve on a friday afternoon to tell him max has the stomach flu and can’t go to the hospital tomorrow, and does he maybe want them to come over and play on the NES at his place tomorrow? steve says sure, maybe, he’ll let him know in the morning, but he’s probably gonna go run some errands or something. (since max isn’t with him, steve speeds a little on his way to indianapolis, the morning sun bright and hot on his face, and he tries to figure out if it’s the change in his routine that’s got his heart pounding, or.)
it’s not until mid-august that they show up at the hospital and the nurse tells them that they’ve been easing him out of the coma, so he may or may not wake up while they’re there and if he does, he might not be totally coherent. she tells them to call if they need anything, she’ll be around, and leaves before they walk into the room to see billy blinking slowly, sort of staring into the corner of the room, drooling a little from the drugs and from the treatments they’ve been doing on the inside of his mouth and his throat to fix the damage. he doesn’t notice them until max goes over and gets his attention, and even then, he just moves his lips silently. (steve has a dream that night that they walk into the room and billy is listless, his chin wet with spit, but he’s sitting propped on several pillows, and he looks unseeingly around the room until his eyes lock onto steve, and he goes, “pretty boy,” voice perfectly clear, and steve wakes up with wet sheets and a feeling of resignation that he’s going to have to admit it to himself sooner rather than later).
it’s obvious that, as billy slowly comes back into himself, so do shame and guilt and fear. steve usually sits in the chair next to the door so billy and max can have some semblance of privacy, but billy panicking makes max panic and so steve moves his chair up to sit next to max. the only time billy really talks is when max goes to find the bathroom, and then he looks at steve and croaks out, “why the fuck do you bring her here?” (later, when he thinks the painkillers have made billy drift off to sleep again and max is gone getting billy a glass of water from the nurse, he says, “I like seeing you too,” and he’s not sure he’s more surprised by the fact that he said that, let alone acknowledged it, or that billy’s jaw clenches like he’s awake and biting back his words).
billy gets the go-ahead to leave the hospital in early november after months of treatments and physical therapy and painful scar massages. two weeks before, billy says they want him to stay close since he’s still got physical therapy three times a week, and he’s going to find an apartment nearby, and steve thinks about it the whole drive home and through a stilted dinner with his parents, who leave halfway through the catch a flight, raising the question of why did they bother setting up dinner with him in the first place, and at 10:24pm he calls the number for the phone next to billy’s hospital bed, and says, “you should look for a place with two bedrooms.” (billy goes quiet, and then they argue for a while, and billy won’t believe him, and butterflies erupt in steve’s stomach at the thought of picking up and moving to be by the douche he had sex dreams about whenever he got too drunk, and it’s nearing midnight when steve draws the conversation back from where it’s meandered off on a hundred different tangents, and says, “I’m moving to indianapolis, you’re gonna have to believe it sometime,” and billy, voice thick, probably from nodding off while steve talked about miami vice, “guess you’re gonna have to come over here and make me, pretty boy”).
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Steve feels it scribble and tickle across his wrist. And as he reads the words there, his cheeks heat up with an embarrassing hue of pink.
Oh he had seen the hearts. Littered across his lower region, far down to where his boxers had covered them up when he woke this morning, saw them as he undressed for the shower, and he knew exactly what that meant.
He doesn't even know what Billy looks like. They haven't gone far enough to send pictures of themselves yet, mostly because Steve is terrified of what his soulmate might look like, or what he'd think of Steve.
Billy once spent a lengthy phone call describing himself; blond curls, sun-kissed skin, hard muscles, slight freckles, a sharp jaw, pale blue eyes. His voice is wicked, the grin always apparent in his tone, but oh how long and deep he can go. The picture he paints as if he's Adonis.
Steve hadn't been nearly as nice describing his own image; brown, tall hair, pale skin dotted with moles and beauty marks, brown eyes, maybe a bit muscular, nothing special really...
Then Billy had asked about how his ass looks, and “How big is your dick?”
But Steve only blushed profusely at that and stuttered out “I'm not telling you that!”
To which Billy simply laughed and called him a pretty boy for the first time. And Steve still remembers how his heart fluttered along with butterflies at that.
“Go to sleep!” he finally responds with, in ballpoint pen just below where Billy had written.
It's almost midnight in Melbourne, Australia, where Billy lives with his shitty dad, a passive step-mom, and a “bitchy little sister” as he says it.
“Call me later? Y/N.”
And Steve scoffs. He looks up at the blackboard where the teacher is explaining... uhh, something something, he can't follow, distractions or not, he's failing all of his classes, so why even bother trying by now.
The two of them have scheduled phone calls twice a week; 7am on Tuesdays and Thursdays, when it's 9pm in Australia, because those are the only times where both of Billy's parents aren't home at the same time.
But it's only Monday, halfway through first period and Steve's heart aches to hear Billy's stupid accent.
So he circles the Y several times and writes “5pm?”
The response is immediate and brief. A simple “k” followed by a ;)
Steve bites down on his tongue at that little winking face, and stares at it for far too long. Hopes it means what he thinks it means.
He then presses his pen down once, leaving a singular dot; their way of showing that they've seen the latest message. And he rolls down the sleeve of his sweater to hide what's making him smile and blush something so terribly in the middle of... is it algebra class?
hi ilove your content so much god bless. I hope you're having a great day<33
HIII!! Thank youuu 🥺💖💖💖 i needed to hear that today <3 so yes, it’s great now thanks to you :D so, THANK YOU! (i love your writing btw!! take care, dear 💖 )
ok um um. BILLY GETTING HIS HAPPY ENDING ITS WHAT HE DESERVES BUT,,,s--steve? will he get his? 🥺
quick question do you have snipers aiming at my head rn yes or yes anYWAY.
does he. deserve happiness with billy absolutely fuckin not am i insanely in love with this asshole and wanna see him learning to behave like an actual human being and getting better and becoming. worthy of billy [high pitched voice] yeA that’d sure be nice so. there ya have it. i want him. both of them. to get better. wanna give em that, or. the start of that, at least. leave em to figure out the rest on their own. i think they both need that
just a reminder that you are a GOD <33 *gif of mean girls person saying I just have a lot of feelings*
you’re wonderful. you try and deny it, but im making the rules here, and you’re simply. wonderful
im so sorry u had a Bad day, they should be constitutionally prohibited, and im ALSO sorry for punching u in the face w more angst, but. uh i hope it helped? somewhat? somehow?
u seriously have no idea how i adore every comment and enthusiastic tag you send my way. like. i keep saying it but. u have no idea how much it means to me, and how much it helps. (spoiler alert: it helps a whole lot)
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okay um?!?!??!?! i just read the latest break (like waves) update and i need, i NEED at least a decade to let it sink in, a little more to leave a coherent comment because I'm an emotional wreck and im honest to god in AWE of your prose and the pacing and the FEELINGS and everything. EVERYTHING. you're a godsend and I love everything you write im-- a mess rn but I hope you got the gist of what I'm saying here (you're amazing) 😭💝❤💖💟💞💕💗💓💘
hi ive been staring at this for ten minutes trying to find a civilized way to say im losing my gd mind without like. shouting at u but. HI IM LOSING MY MIND are u KIDDING ME. everytime u say sth inexcusably nice like *hand gestures* t h a t abt my fic i get the urge to run to the nearest field and go scream at the top of my lungs, like. if ur trying to absolutely freakin annihilate me. ITS WORKIN i love u thank u so much for screaming at me i still cant believe u go wild about my fic like that, and also!! im sorry. (no im not. and u know it 🥰💞🥰)
ヽ(*˘︶˘*)ﾉ💫 If you receive this you make someone's heart burst with love and appreciation for you. Send this to 5 people you think might need a boost of confidence or just a bit of uplifting affection. Someone who makes you feel happy to be on tumblr and see their posts on your dash.
