#infundoverse

Ah, now that’s another story entirely…

So say he did. How would it happen?

Let’s imagine it…

Tony and Bruce would have measure Bruce’s resting metabolism while finding methods to help slow it down. Meanwhile, Bruce would need to up his caloric intake while doing very little physical activity: sitting and resting while snacking on cakes, cookies, donuts, fried foods, ice cream, chocolate, sugary sodas, anything/everything with empty calories through the day. They’d have to start slow (like three or four extra cookies), then gradually build up to greater feedings of food at closer intervals.

And those aren’t including his regular meal times. Bruce would probably be a little full with all that snacking, so they’d start with smaller meals at dinner, too. But oh, my, does Tony know the best chefs with the fattiest southern fried American recipes. Sticks of butter in everything. Battered fish, chicken, and steaks. Loaded potatoes, hush puppies, mac and cheese (four times the fat means four times the flavor), bacon in all of it, gravy on all of it. The veggies would be either fried or smothered in butter and cheese, and the fruit - well, fruit pies, of course! And biscuits and/or bread. Lots of it. With jam and - you guessed it - butter. 

But that doesn’t even begin to touch some international foods! Empanadas, chimichangas (thanks, Deadpool), tupinamdas, flautas, churros, toasted ravioli, fried lasagna rolls, parmigiana, fried pizza, tempura, wantons, spring rolls, cutlets, bonda, boondi, samosas, namak para, alloco, akara, frikadel– *Gasp*–and every culture that has at least one fried staple dish (is there a culture that doesn’t?). 

Bruce’d learn to eat more and more of the best tasting, highest caloric foods in the world, and his taste buds would have the time of their lives. 

Also, his eating schedule would have to be strict and rigorous.  Even with grazing most of his waking hours (maybe with a few leftovers as “light” snacks), he’d need scheduled stuffing sessions, per Steve’s orders, to help train his stomach muscles to accommodate the extra meals and snacks.  And strangely enough, Bruce would need at least one or two fasting days so his body would “miss” food, which would further slow his metabolism and cause him to be hungrier the next day. 

Add a few milkshakes in there with plenty of cream and sugar (for the days it’s hard to get all those calories down, he can drink them), and I think he’d end up immobile in a fairly short period of time.