May 29, 2020
Could punching yourself in the stomache make you infertile if you do it often enough?
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Could punching yourself in the stomache make you infertile if you do it often enough?
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My Heart Ache's For Someone I Haven't Met Yet
I am so blessed and overwhelmed with happiness that I get to share my family with my niece (now legally my daughter). She will always and forever be my child and have a very special place in my heart. When I get my funds together I plan on getting her a very special sliver charm bracelet. On the first charm I will inscribe "Constant as the stars above, always know that you are loved." Funny thing is I saw that quote on a barbie movie. I couldn't help write it down because it said exactly what I felt for my dear child. On the back of the charm it will have the date 1-4-2012, which is the date she was adopted. Pictured below was the day we brought her home.
If any of you have read my mother's day post last year, then you will know that before my little one came into our life we have been trying to get pregnant. Actually we have been trying since 2005 to bring our child into our home. I have had visions of this child that same year. Two vision's of a little boy. The first one he was about the same age as my daughter is now but he looks just like my husband. (fitting since my daughter looks just like me). The second vision I had I was bringing the baby home for the first time to a beautiful house (another wish of mine since you all know how much I hate living in this apartment.) The child looked up at me and smiled.  Ever since then I knew my first (biological child) would be a boy.  Since then it has been heart wrenching every month when I find out he isn't coming again. It hurt to see family members and friends get pregnant so easily and at times I politely refused invitations to baby showers. Then five years later my niece came along and filled that place in my heart. Now that the adoption is final I can't stop thinking that it is time for my son to join our family. It seems that all my old feeling are starting to surface again. My heart starts to ache for him. Having my daughter around does ease the pain every month when I know again I that this is the month I wont see him. If you have ever seen the adorable cartoon called Lambert the Sheepish Lion then you know how I feel. (check it on YouTube if you haven't #mce_temp_url#) My mom said a very touching thing about that cartoon. She said my daughter was my lion and now that she is adopted it is time I have my lamb. This longing for him has actually influenced the way I write my book. The last book "The Secret to Atheness" the characters were mostly women and girls. This new book it is now more in the men and boys point of view. Yes many of the old characters are still in this one, however the main character in this one is the son of my last books main character, Katie. I think my future son has inspired me to write of him. A way of coping I think. Well as my heart calls for my child I will continue to write of him and dream of him.