❛ i never should’ve trusted you . ❜ - john dutton
"AND WHY THE HELL NOT, HUH?" it comes out of his mouth before he knows what's up or down, LEFT OR RIGHT . . . his lips curling upward, drawing curtain back from crooked teeth and revealing squinted eyes that harbor resentment spilling through his cracks like WATER BATTERING AGAINST A CREAKING DAM, and trickling out whatever break it can find . . . STRENGTH RIPPING HOLES WIDER.
"all i've ever done is try to save this god forsaken ranch, over and over, even when it's to my own fucking detriment. even when the people i'm saving it for fucking hate me!" side of his hand is pummeling opposite palm, A DESIRE TO THROW HIS FIST AT SOMETHING, ANYTHING, OVERWHELMING. "but that's never been an issue for you has it? not when it came to any of us!"
ARMS RAISED TO HIS SIDES COME BACK DOWN, BUT HIS CHEST STILL FEELS TIGHT WITH PENT UP RAGE. don't you understand? you're fighting a war you can never win, on the opposite end of the battlefield to a man whom never loved you. YOU WERE ONLY EVER A FAVOR. "hey, -- why don't you tell me somethin', dad? . . . why even bother? if you were always gonna undermine everything i ever did, -- hell, if you were never gonna listen to my perspective on anything?" he shakes his head. IT'S A LONG TIME COMING, stopping short of what he really wanted to ask. "when the moment i have a different perspective on things, which i was under the impression you needed, -- you throw your goddamn hands up." look at me, scoffing like i'm an idiot for even suggesting an alternative solution. HOLDING LAND'S SALVATION, WHICH YOU CONTINUOUSLY SMACK TO THE GROUND.
he's stepped forward somewhere in his tirade, a depth of pain in ocean blues . looking to his father for answers of questions buried in his cowardice. AS IF HE WERE SEARCHING FRANTICALLY WITH THE HANDS OF A STARVING MAN, FOR ACCEPTANCE. why did you take me, if you could never love me? why did you make me into what you hated? WHY WOULD YOU DOOM ME FROM THE START? OH FATHER, I'M DROWNING, AND ALL I WANT IS FOR A FAMILY WHO LOVES ME -- WHO . . . "you know, you told me once that i could be a great lawyer, but yet you suffocate in me any ambition i ever had!"
@infernonetwork. deadly nightshade.