#ineffablemum

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    “Either I’m hallucinating and for some      reason, this--“

There’s a pause for a vague and quite disrespectful gesture.

when  he  was  an  ANGEL,  he’d  once  been  able  to  sense  the  presence  of  love.   he  knew  it  like  a  familiar  scent,  like  fresh  bread  at  that  lovely  little  café  on  the  corner.   one  whiff  of  the  air  and  it  made  itself  known  to  him  clearer  than  mortal  eyes  could  ever  see.   he'd  felt  so  very  much  of  it  in  heaven;  he  could  have  nearly  drowned  in  it.

but  that  was  a  Very,  Very  Long  Time  Ago,  and  love  gave  him  up  for  dead  when  he  hit  the  ground  beyond  the  gates.   now  all  that  he  can  sense  are  wants.   dark  desires,  simmering  resentment,  silent  wishes  for  society’s  sense  of  propriety  and  decorum  to  fall  away  for  just  one  measly  little  minute  so  one  could,  to  use  one  of  zira’s  favorite  phrases,  go  positively  apeshit.   and  all  he  senses  when  god  Herself  stands  before  him  on  an  otherwise  lovely  day  out  ---  and  he  knows  it’s  what  he’s  sensing  when  the  sound  of  a  minor  traffic  collision  echoes  up  the  street  behind  him  ---  is  his  own  desire  to  about - face  and  walk  back  the  other  way.

but  he  doesn’t  dare.   so  he  stands  there,  hands  in  his  pockets  and  shoulders  bunched  almost  to  his  ears,  and  he  smiles  in  the  twitchy  manner  of  someone  who  would  rather  be  ANYWHERE  BUT  HERE.

   “Why?” is the last question he’ll  probably ever get to ask of HER. There were others before, much worse than him. He never meant wrong, he just wanted to know, to understand HER plan.

   Maybe it was the wrong company that led him astray, the wrong kind of people – well, not exactly people. Lucifer and others. Maybe he should have been more careful, but what does that say about HER? What kind of mother casts her own children away?

   He is angry, and he is terrified, more than he’s ever been. You can’t be mad at GOD, but he is, because it’s just not fair. How can being thrown away be fair? He knows what comes next, heard of it anyway – he’ll get a new name, a new set of wings, and that lot on the other side seem to really like the forms of crawling and buzzing things. He doesn’t want to be one of them.

    It’s a very strange thing, coming into existence so suddenly. Fully formed, fully aware, complete with wings as a proper angel should be. Ellios- was that his name? It felt right- lifted one hand, and then the other, to touch his hair. Clouds. It felt like clouds, or at least what he thought clouds to feel like. Come to think of it, what was a cloud? Through his head, questions absolutely stampeded through, some with obvious answers. His name was Ellios, he was an angel, and he was in Heaven. And suddenly, he was aware he wasn’t alone.

    A woman, or perhaps merely a woman’s appearance, was there too. Ellios simply looked at her for a long moment before speaking. His first words.

“I can’t tell you how frustrating it is when your children don’t do as you tell them,” Lilith sighed as she banished one of her more troublesome demonic children back to the Pit, before turning to look at her own dear Mommy, with a smirk of a smile on her red lips, “Well, maybe I don’t have to. After all, there’s always one rebellion or another happening.....isn’t there?” She brushed off her hands the dust left from the little banishment. 

“It’s actually why I’m glad I’ve....caught your attention,” She added, taking a seat on a wall, legs crossed, “In fact,” She bit her lip playfully, “I might have encouraged this little destructive....incident. Though he did get a bit carried away” She added with a roll of the eyes, “Men always do”