#ineededit

There was a stirring in her gut as she met the eyes of her current carnation. His expression was grim, his gaze serious.

She started in a quiet voice, “With every rebirth, I have ‘taken the back seat’ as the humans say,” she softly chuckled. “Humanity has such a wonderful way with words.” She paused, a twinkle in her eyes, “I have always been watching from the window, witnessing our lives play out before my eyes.”

Reiko grew somber, her eyes sad as she spoke, “Our first experience was a shocking one. We were such a wobbly little thing we were, stumbling over our talons. We could scarcely lift our head. It was too heavy for our growing body. We were so… optimistic,” she breathed, craning her head to the sky. 

“Will we see the sun someday?” An innocent voice, an echo from the past. 

The scent of earth filled her nostrils, the sound of talons tapping on, struggling to root themselves in place. She sought enrichment, looking for substance as she pecked at the soil.

Days became months.

And months turned into years… 

The only comfort was the sound of the water outside the surrounding walls and the imaginary gentle voice of Reiko filling her little heart with a ray of hope and dreams. 

“I whispered my greatest tales to her,” Her expression growing shuttered. “I gave her a promise of a better tomorrow, a better future,” she trailed off. Silently her eyes flooded with tears. 

“Will you take my place?” The words were but a feeble croak. 

She exhaled a shaky breath, furiously shaking her head.

She raised her head up high, chest swelled, eyes filled with fierce pride. 

Reiko inhaled softly, her voice growing more pronounced, booming across the field. “My next life was a tad delayed. My awareness had awoken rather late and I found myself soaring faster than I had ever gone through the clouds.

Boisterous, raring to go at any given chance. We charged into new territory, battling those who got in our way, claiming theirs for ourselves. My new self viewed my gentle presence as a nuisance, believing I would only hamper his goals in betterment. 

Filled with stubbornness and pride, my new self rarely sought my prior wisdom unless he was truly out of depth. 

“We sought challenge after challenge, wanting to prove our might. We left this world as a warrior, meeting our end at the jaws of a better.”

We sat and watched the first rain of the region. Drenched, we plowed through the storm. We laughed at it, we taunted it. We vowed we would dominate this place and take it for our own.

“I would say it was for the best. His ego enlarged his head tenfold, you see.”

They shared a short laugh at that. 

“I have lost count of the many lives I have lived. Each experience I have cherished all the same. Each has taught me something new. 

“And lastly, Akimitsu. She was my Love.” Her voice dipped with tenderness and affection. “She was the mother I was never able to be for this region. Motherhood was a part of my life I never truly attained, but through her, I felt it–the feeling of watching my children grow and prosper. Hers was a life I was truly envious of. 

Beasts flanked either side of her, insistent on remaining close, seeking her attention and guidance. A brief pause and a gentle touch, the beasts took off to parts unknown, pace quick as if they were on a mission. With a heavy heart, she watched them until they were out of sight, a prayer on her lips.

Stay safe.

“My past reincarnations have allowed me to put things into perspective. We, Ho-oh, are long-lived beings. There was no map or rules for me to follow. After all, I am the first,” she laughed. “Just like you. You are in uncharted territory, my human. But don't allow it to dictate your fate and chart a safe path ahead, only you can begin for yourself.” 

____

Zhen quirked a brow. “Another human phase?” He tried to make brevity of her confession. He quickly found that he couldn't.

She lived 

“I made it, myself,” she chuckled. 

“Say I made this path. So what? I wouldn't be here if it weren't for her. What she did was wrong. I was ready to die out there.” 

Reiko went silent.

A quiet heartbeat, two, and he found himself beneath her wing, pressed close to her body. 

Upon brushing against her form, he felt what felt like a surge of energy through his veins. Fear took root as he felt what felt like a thousand suns slam through his gut, taking his breath away. It sank into his very core, threatening to steal away all that was his.

He panicked, breath quickening. His hands pushed against her frame, but she held him firm.

He felt it. 

All that she was. Her sorrow, her power, her radiant, iridescent golden flame encompassing his small flame, coaxing it to grow, to flourish. 

He began to glow, his veins burning bright with her power. It was old yet strangely gentle, making him feel heady. 

He relaxed in her hold.

“I will never understand what went through her mind when she made that choice.” She murmured, her voice close to his ear. “What she did was wrong, Zhen. Not once but twice did she extend beyond her power, and it backlashed upon her in the worst of ways,” her voice grew harsh at this, “But I believe it was her only recourse to fix what she had caused.”

“Why me?”

She looked away, and he followed her glance. The lone golden feather lay motionlessly on the water. “You proved your worth. Despite all the trials and tribulations, your heart remains pure. She used the feather as a medium to make you the Ho-oh you are now.” 

Squeezing his eyes shut, he hung his head, “I never wanted this,” he whispered, his voice hollow. 

“I know.” Her hold tightened. “I will try to prevent as much instability as I can, but you are conflicted. This conflict will be your ruin if you don’t choose. If you don’t believe in yourself, this doubt will consume you. Any hesitation and this fire will attempt to devour you alive.”

A look of contempt formed in her eyes. “I have never done what she has. Your body is unique. I know you are more than compatible with it; otherwise, you wouldn't be standing.”

Zhen swallowed, and his thoughts swam. 

Reiko continued on, aware of the stress coursing through him. “Akimitsu broke the cycle by making you and imparting our flame inside of you.”

The tip of her wing brushed against his abdomen, his chest. “There is a war inside to see who will win between you and this fire. I have been suppressing it but I am only a mere fragment.” Even now, her form was growing more translucent, the warmth waning. “In her death, most of my spirit went with her.”

“Nice knowing I have a living flame that wants to kill me, huh? I’ll add it to the list I have along with Susano,” he grumbled.

“Susano?” Her voice went flat. “What, did he… did he try to kill you?” 

He found himself flat on the ground, dazed, Reiko shrieking overhead. “That old dragon! Once I get my wings around his neck, I'll strangle him!”

…

He blinked. The whiplash of her actions was beginning to make him stir-crazy. She was… flowy, animated. For a long-lived ancient, Reiko acted younger than she was. 

She peered at him on the ground, her expression apologetic. “I'm sorry. That counterpart of mine is stubborn. Herds of Tauros stomping across the plains would never surpass him. If he knew I was here, he shouldn't have attacked you.”

Zhen rose into a sitting position, fixing his disheveled hair. “I think he does,” he muttered. Recalling Susano's growl at the Gala only made him more unsettled. “I have no idea how to fix this,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“You train! As that kind woman was instructing you before! Remember the sensation!” She puffed up her chest, pointing at him with a stern wing. “Think of your last earnest training. Do you recall the feeling of it?”

Zhen inclined his head. “I remember the control.” The only true training sessions he had were with Ginjiro. While there were others, it was the only time he felt he could go all out without harming another. 

“Control! Confidence!” She coaxed his head to look at her, smiling. Her dazzling eyes nearly blinded him. “You have this. I felt it! There's greatness inside you!” 

“I'm not great like you, lady. I'm just…” A human saddled with the responsibility of the region. 

“You don't have to be like me. You've set a goal that is nearly impossible to meet. Firstly, start small. Soon, you will be a force to be reckoned with! But you are Zhen. The first human made a Ho-oh. And you have done remarkably so far.”

Where had he heard those words before? He uttered something similar to Aki at the Gala. 

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” a wry smile. 

The tips of her wing lifted his head. “Listen closely, Zhen. Take apart this fake… ruse. Renew your belief in your strength and resolve. Place faith in yourself and let it burn. Only you can stand tall and endure what tomorrow may yet to offer.”

Was he Zhen, the prince? The swordsman? The Ho-oh?

His eyes gaze upon her form and he realizes then. No matter what shape and form she took over time, she retained her sense of self throughout the eons. 

Her spirit was unbending, filled with hope and a tenderness he could only describe as motherly.

All the experiences melded into one being, all still a part of her. 

Reiko, the first Ho-oh.

His lips curved into a slight smile. The luminous ring within his eyes burns brightly in affirmation. 

Reiko beamed. “You will be strong, indeed. I am sure of it. But there's a teensy bit of an issue.” He waited, noting the hesitation. “I will need Susano's aid when you are properly trained.” 

She knew how to take wind from his sails. He sighed loudly, sinking back on the back of his palms. “He- They,” he corrected himself, “will kill me,” Zhen said flatly. That'll take getting used to.

She didn't seem to notice, “They won't! I assure you!”

“Tell that to my tail feathers they ripped out of my ass.” And the death glare at the party. Any hope he had of asking was quickly dashed then. 

“So crude,” she said. He quirked a brow. He hardly expected her to be a prude. 

She straightened up. “Susano was always one for strength. You must prove your might to them and then they will find you one worth respect,” she said.  

Zhen rolled his eyes. “I have Caelus to show me the ropes for now.” Hopefully, he won't kill me either. 

“Haha! I knew I recognized a familiar presence! Caelus was an old flame! Tried as we may, the sparks fizzled out. He was such a-”

He placed a hand over her beak, eyes darting around. 

“Too much?” She said, words muffled. 

“You have no filter,” he said harshly. 

She grinned broadly. “It doesn't matter. He knows how I am~”