#ineeded

I've made mistakes. For that I'm sorry. I know what I lost. I know what I was going to loose the moment we had our fight. A part of me wanted to hold on longer because I wanted you with me. I wanted to be better for you. I cared about you. You may believe me. Maybe you may not and that's okay. After that, I was happy at times and then suddenly I'm not. Was it your fault? No it wasn't, I knew that. I caught my self slowly being numb to things you say or do. Was it your fault? No it wasn't. I saw what I was becoming. And that wasn't fair to you. You deserve more. You deserve better than what I was becoming. As hard as it was. I didn't want to hurt you more, chronically, over the long term. You may believe me.. you may not and that's okay. Leaving you, was one of the hardest thing to do. I wanted you still in my life. And you recommend counciling. I went and I was told that to truly heal. Something like our situation is not good to have on social media. I explained what I needed to do. And you said okay. We respected each others space. I was getting better. Till that Sunday. That's on me. I said I was at fault. But I didn't know how to tell you. I lost my peace. I couldn't reply to your messages because I was feeling all sorts of emotions. Was it your fault? No it wasn't. Simply mine. I don't recover fast. I need to get thru the process. I have explained that time n time again. But I guess you never really understood how hard it is for me to be okay over an event. Was that your fault? No it wasn't. Simply mine. I needed space. I needed time. It's all fresh. A fresh wound that still bleeds. You are hurt from my own lacking of there of. I know you cared about me. I know you care about me. I just hope you understand that I cared about you. I care about you now. Did I treat you right after leaving you? No. Was it your fault? Nope, simply mine.

I only wish you wellness, happiness, and peacefulness.

I only wish you wellness, happiness, and peacefulness.

I only wish you wellness, happiness, and peacefulness.

Mindfulness helps alot. I am working on myself. I am getting better. I am moving forward to better things. Words are simply words until put into action.

-T.E