i really like this thing where websites will have separate "log in" & "sign up" buttons and if you click "log in" it takes you to a sign-up screen anyway so you have to click "i already have an account" and then it will ask if you want to sign in with your facebook account or with instagram or linkedin or deviantart or whatever, and if you choose "username & password" it asks if you want to put in your username or use your thumbprint, and once you put your username & password it emails you a confirmation code, and once you put in the code it says "do you want to give us your phone number for future sign-ins? do you want to sign up for facial recognition? do you want to give us your bones? give us your fucking bones?

i turn my clamification dial to 100% & the capital of the netherlands becomes clamsterdam. i turn it to 200% & it becomes clamsterclam

it's crazy when couples & friends & whatnot refer to themselves as "a packaged eel". like wow you two are so close that you are fusing into a long slimy fuck... & theyre putting you in a box......

ads with fake close buttons where if you try to click close you just click the ad are vile. people who make them should be locked in a room with only fake doors & windows

"i look forward to hearing back" implies a beautiful world that runs on sense-direction combinations. i smell sideways to tasting up. i palpate inwards to listening diagonal, so that i can hunger clockwise

my uncle who doesnt work at nintendo told me nothing