Very. Anxious. Terrified, even. Hysterical.

2 - Something in your life that you want to change? Like the place and situation you were born or the way you were raised?

I want parents who don't hate queers and a mother who didn't grow up in poverty and abuse

3 - Do you don't know what to say when someone asks you for your favourite colour?

Hm, for some reason my instant response is always dark navy blue. It's when I start thinking about it when I realise that I don't have a favourite colour and don't even like blue that much.

4 - Do you plan on having kids in the future? If yes, in what type of situation should you be for having them?

No. 100% never biological babies, because body horror and bad track record with children in our family. But maybe if I'm way older, and have a stable home life, definitely with a partner, I would consider fostering one or more children of the type that really need it. I think I'd be good at that. But that would mean not having the type of academic career that I want, bc with that I'd never be stable, or financially secure enough to be a good parent in my eyes. So being a parent would kinda mean that it happened bc I failed to do this amazing professional thing, and idk, being hounded by past ambitions and hating myself for not being good enough is not something I'd want to inflict on vulnerable, dependant people. So that's mostly a no to kids. 

5 - Handy city or pacific village

City, definitely. To comfortably live in a village you have to either be a hermit, or be ok with everyone being all up in your business.

6 - Do you have any favourite female/male/unisex names

The really dumb thing is that I kinda love my own name, idek how my parents managed to name me that. So that's Alex, Alexander, Alexandra, Alejandro, Alexandrine, all of them. I feel kinda weird about it, but it is a good name tho. Sometimes I'll start naming a sim or character that, and then I'm like, wait a minute that is me isn't it I am naming it after myself oh god. And obv look for a different name.

7 - What do you look for in a partner?

I'd appreciate someone who spends more time in the bathroom than me - it's not that I'm only attracted to like super groomed made up people bc they're pretty and everyone else is ugly or w/e. I... just like people who use their appearance as a form of sel expression idk. argh this sounds terrible and I don't know how to say it but I am so, so into femmes. Apart from that compatibility w/me, understanding towards issues I have, and being willing to talk about their own stuff, so that we can reasonably work together. 

8 - Any weird hobbies/fetishes?

Yeah, hobbies and fetishes are two very different things o.O but I don't think I do any particularly weird stuff? Sometimes I go to weird places on the internet? Last week I ended up on the gay humiliation porn side of tumblr several times and I still don't know how I feel about it. I didn't like the faminization-as-humiliation that's for sure :/

9 - something I couldn't live without

If depression teaches us one thing, it's that there is very little you really need to survive. Everything stops, but you're somehow still alive. And to quote a book I don't like "there is no place too small, too dark and airless and fucking hopeless, for people to crawl into". I'm sorry, it's that kind of day.

10 - Sims related! large or small families? 

I only ever play legacy style and always end up with large families!

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So my questions now:

What would you say you're the best at when it comes to sims (making sims, creating content, houses, telling stories...)

Do you wear a perfume/cologne/scented thing on your body? I want to smell u ppl~

 How do you feel about horses, riding horses, watching horses, doing sports with horses? Are they not the most terrifying hellbeasts ever, that should be de-domesticated left the fuck alone in the wild?

Have you ever stopped buying from any particular company out of moral objections? Would you, and what would it take? (I'm not even talking about big, publicised boycotts. Just... thinking the company is gross and taking your business elsewhere)

Do you have any weird rituals to get a hold of your mood/mental state, calm down, cheer up, or w/e?

How do you feel about your first name? 

How has your simming experience change over time? Like, did you use to only play, and then switched to only writing stories? Did you use to decorate more than you do now?

What whas the last non fiction thing you read? Textbooks totally count, but browsing news headlines doesn't.

Is there a piece of CC that you overuse - like putting the same poster into every room, or having to try really really hard not to use the same hair on all your sims.