Wei Wuxian: Whenever Jiang Cheng gets mad at me, I tighten all the lids on our jars so he has to come to me for help.
*sounds of glass shattering in the background*
Wei Wuxian: It hasn't worked yet, but it will.
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Wei Wuxian: Whenever Jiang Cheng gets mad at me, I tighten all the lids on our jars so he has to come to me for help.
*sounds of glass shattering in the background*
Wei Wuxian: It hasn't worked yet, but it will.

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Lan Xichen always looks like he has a headache coming on and honestly, i don't blame him
*at a boutique*
wei wuxian, with 2 pants on his hands: lan zhan, lan zhan. which of these bottoms is your favorite?
lan wangji: you
wei wuxian: i don't know, lan zhan. that's why im asking you which of them looks better on me
lan wangji:
Where is Wei Wuxian ?
Lan WangJi: What are you doing?
Wei WuXian: ...hugging you, Lan Zhan. I'm giving you affection.
Lan WangJi: Disgusting.
Lan WangJi:
Lan WangJi: Do it again.

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jiang cheng: why are lan wangji and wei wuxian sitting with their backs to each other?
lan xichen: they had a fight
jiang cheng: then why are they holding hands?
lan xichen: they get sad when they fight
Every sect in MDZS: Wei Wuxian’s brain is a bag full of cats. You could smell crazy on him.
Jiang Cheng: Have care how you speak. Wei Wuxian is beyond reason, but he’s of Yunmeng Jiang Sect and he’s my brother.
Jin Guangyao: He killed eighty cultivators in two days.
Jiang Cheng: *pauses* He’s adopted.
LWJ: Wei Ying. What's wrong?
WWX: Lan Zhan! Look! I accidentally bit my tongue and it's bleeding!
LWJ: Come here, let me suck it.
WWX: ...