Sebastian: My calculator isnt working.
Sebastian: *hits it on the edge of the table*
Hunter: For fucks sake, how would you like it if I banged YOU on the table?
Hunter:
Sebastian:

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Sebastian: My calculator isnt working.
Sebastian: *hits it on the edge of the table*
Hunter: For fucks sake, how would you like it if I banged YOU on the table?
Hunter:
Sebastian:

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Jeff: Why is there a bottle of vodka in your bag?
Sebastian: It’s not vodka.
Sebastian: It’s holy water
Kurt: What need could you, of all people on God’s green earth, have for holy water?
Sebastian: I’m a gay, half-Russian Jew. In America, I’m literally public enemy number one.
Santana: I’m a lesbian, half-black, half-Latina woman.
Sebastian:
Sebastian: I’m public enemy number two.
Sebastian: Why should I pass my exams when I could simply pass away?
Hunter’s funeral
Sebastian: Hunter was such an amazing husband and I just know that he is looking up at all of us-
Kurt: Don’t you mean looking down at us?
Sebastian: No, he’was nice to me but a dick to everyone else.

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Hunter: You PROMISED me you wouldn’t make anyone cry in the first Warblers meeting of the year.
Sebastian: And Hitler promised not to invade Czechoslovakia, but here we are
Sebastian: Is there anywhere I can sit?
Hunter: *points to his crotch* Here.
Hunter: Don’t question it
Sebastian: I could be buying drugs right now.
Sebastian buying the whole Harry Potter series, whispering: At least I’m not buying drugs right now