πππ: Noise cancelling headphones arenβt enough. I need everyone to shut the fuck up and die.
πππ, pointing at Charles: He, of course, is the only exception.

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πππ: Noise cancelling headphones arenβt enough. I need everyone to shut the fuck up and die.
πππ, pointing at Charles: He, of course, is the only exception.

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πππππππ: Ugh. How many times would I have to flip a coin to get some head...
πππ: Technically, you have a 50% chance of getting heads, so an average from 1 to 2 times βπ»π€
πππππππ: That's not quite what I meant, you know.
πππ: It's simple statistics, Charles.
real chat between Lando and Max
Max: Hi
Charles: Hello
Max: I'm hurt
Charles: ?? What happened?
Max: I was short
Charles: ???
Max: I mean I was shot
Max: By gun
Charles: Oh my god
Charles: Go to the hospital
Max: Already there
Charles: So why are you on Grindr?
Max: I'm looking for a long-term relationship
Max: And I think I'm in love with you
Charles (browsing max's twitter): why the hell are you blocked by Jersey Mike's?
Max: wdym?
Max (remembering): Ah... Ha, haha, hahahahaha

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πππ: On a scale from 1 to 10, you're a 9 and I'm the 1 you need :D
πππππππ: Wtf no, I'm a 10.
πππππππ: Max. Can you please pick your clothes off of the floor?
πππ: Why? I wasn't the one who took them off.
πππππππ:...
πππ: My god, it's so hot in here.
πππππππ: Okay... but why are you unbuttoning MY shirt?