Ran: Fast! Fuck, Marry, Kill - Me, Mikey and Rindou.

Sanzu: Easy. Fuck you, marry Mikey of course and kill Koko.

y/n: wait, what is going on?

Koko: Mikey changed teams

y/n: so?

Koko: Since he's not partnered with rindou...

Kid at the mall: *cries bc he lost his mommy*

Sanzu: *walks toward the child*

Ran: Oh no- Sanzu no-

Sanzu: *sits down to fit the child's height and pats his head* now now, don't cry buddy, we'll find your mom.

-Minutes later after they found the child's mom-

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Sanzu: I still don’t have a New Year’s resolution. Rindou: You could lose a few. Ran: You could be less lazy. Takeomi: Don’t be such a bitch. Sanzu: Okay DAMN, SHIT.

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Koko: The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was changing their name to Sanzu.

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Ran: Seriously, Sanzu, how many people would you have killed if we’d asked you to? Sanzu: That’s not important Ran: I DISAGREE.

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Mikey: I dare you to kiss the next person who walks into this room. Rindou: Screw that, I’m not kissing any of you. *Sanzu walks in* Rindou: Fine, I’ll do it. Rules are rules you know.

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Koko: Are you drunk? Sanzu: Only on the spirit of Christmas! Takeomi: And the spirit of whisky.

YN: *eating avocado toast before a meeting*

Kokonoi: In one piece of bread, you’ve managed to almost consume 800 calories

YN: *swallows* In one lifetime you have managed to acquire ✨zero✨ bitches

Haitani bros: *wheezing*

Takeomi: *Choking on his cigarette smoke*

Sanzu: *cackling*

Mikey: yes.

Sanzu : Wait you didn’t even let me get to the “when you fell from heaven” part.