Inaar struggled get used to the feeling of absorbing dragon souls. There was something wrong about it, most certainly: you sent souls to their next destination, not devoured them whole. But she couldnât help it, as she couldnât have helped being drawn to her first Wall. Dragon deaths created a hunger in her that needed sating. Though it vanished as soon as the soulâs power coursed through her, it still left her feeling raw.
On the other hand, the souls did bestow a number of gifts upon her, the least of which being the deepening of her her well of power. These facts made her feel marginally better before the violent nausea kicked in.
Todayâs soul belonged to a storm dragon, a giant monstrosity that swept in like clouds and showered them with bolts of lightning. It - it discomfited Inaar to call dragons âit,â after the incident at the tower - must have seen her meagre party of three and decided to take advantage. But Arghus, âformerâ scryer though he might have been, saw the dragon coming and was prepared.Â
âA dragon! Prepare yourselves!â heâd bellowed, readying a ward. Inigo was fast with his bow. Before long, the storm dragon was peppered with ebony arrows. It took the better part of an hour to bring it out of the sky, though, and was no easier a foe once it sank to the ground. It held back not a sliver of cunning as it used its claws to slowly nudge Arghus into a corner, making it harder for him to cast wards upon Inaar and Inigo. It was a savage thing, too, nearly seizing Inigo with its giant maw. And when it shouted, it looked her expectantly in the eye.Â
They all did.
It died a valiant death, this storm dragon, head raised proudly as Inaar delivered the killing blow with arrows of fire. It passed quickly, too. In mere seconds its flesh melted into fire, crackling as its soul rushed towards her. She could just barely make out Argus knocking back a potion before she was blinded by light.
This one tasted sharp. And young, compared to her first. Mirmulnir, Inaar chided herself. The dragonâs name was Mirmulnir. She could get little else; only shadows passed through her mindâs eye, grey ghosts of silent knowledge that she could barely capture or understand. But it was powerful, and its strength seeped deep into her bones. Inaar thanked it wordlessly as she felt her reserve of energy deepen, just a twinge.
Then she wretched, and she cursed it for having been so strong. Why couldnât she have felled a lesser dragon?
A healed Arghus quietly produced his herb satchel. Inigo only sighed, laying a comforting (if not slightly curled from residual pain) hand upon her shoulder.
âWe must get you to the Greybeards, my friend,â he said. Inaar was too sick to do anything more than grimace. She distracted herself by focusing on the swift clicking of Arghusâ pestle crushing unknown plants.
âI donât want to go.â
âFate cares not for the desires of mortals.â Arghusâ voice was wry as he dripped water into his mortar. âIt will drag you along your course until your dying breath, though whether thatâs sooner or later is your doing. The Greybeards shouted for you. It would do you - and your gut,â he said, pressing his mortar into her palms with both hands, ârather well to heed their call.â
Inaar brought the paste to her mouth. Blue flowers and catâs eye again. Even if she avoided death by dragon and dragon soul both, surely she would die from the foul concoctions that Arghus cobbled together. Though she knew that it was an unfair thought, and she thanked him quietly for his aid.Â
When the paste had done its gristly work, Inaar straightened (and scowled, as the battle had ripened them all). âI suppose that Markarth can wait,â she exhaled.Â
Arghus gave no indication of disappointment; Inigoâs face brightened, wheels turning behind his eyes as he thought of their new journey. She was glad that he had enough optimism for all three of them. For when she looked towards the direction of the Greybeardâs mountain, the clouds parted just a little bit faster.
Damn Fate, and all the strings that it pulled.
âSo,â Inaar said, turning back towards the two men. âWhich of you knows how to avoid death by frostbite?â
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The air felt different against Inaarâs scalp, cold gusts of air passing judgment upon her uncrowned head. She shivered as she brushed stray hair off her shoulders. The tightly-coiled strands of her past life - strands that sheâd cut away with her sharpest blade, bit by bit, until there was hardly anything left but relief when she ran her fingers over it. Not that a hasty alteration in her appearance would change who and what she was. Not that she wouldnât still feel the threads of fate pulling at her, no matter how much she wanted to cut them too. Especially because theyâd led her here.
Part of her wanted to go home. Ama and Adda would probably welcome her with open arms, she told herself. Every family with a prodigal daughter would come to miss her, would they not? Especially when said daughter had been groomed to eventually lead their house. Despite her magic, her willfulness, and her âdangerousâ intellectual curiosities.
Then Inaar remembered the look on Halimâs face when he walked in on her and Tenka. Like heâd found a pair of serpents writhing in Inaarâs bed. She admitted that honestly, breaking the marriage covenant forged between House Bursur and House Shaâajani would chill the warmth with which her parents welcomed her. And their arms would only close in around her, hands bracing her back, if an adder knife was soon to follow.
And even if they didnât murder her for her transgressions against House Bursur, they would still yoke her to her future husband, Jallah. He was every bit the prince, the kind that servants dreamed of when fantasizing about finding a noble to whisk them away from a lifetime of other peopleâs laundry. He was kind to the poor when he needed to be; had a smile as bright as a mirage out on the Alikâr; was knowledgeable about the history of every nation, every house, every trade. You would never fail to see Jallah Maser Shaâajani kneeling at the shrines twice a week, full and personable lips moving in prayer (for what, Inaar was never sure). A prize for anyone who wanted him, and their children would surely inherit his unceasing beauty. But Inaar did not see anything but a waste of flesh.
âBloody Forebears,â heâd muttered one afternoon, staring out past their palanquin. Inaar had followed his gaze and found several Forebear sympathizers in the crowd, crossing the High Road back to the compounds. Their steel pins, hollow circles with sun-rays dancing on the outsides, glittered in the light. She looked back and saw that Jallahâs charming good looks had begun to harden, starting with his jaw.
âWhat of them?â
âWhen we marry,â he said, voice low, âour first task as a couple will be to root out all of their allies in Hegathe. Every last one of them will drink steel.âÂ
Inaar frowned. âHegathe has found peace for at least a year,â she said slowly. âLimited fights at the taverns and brothels, few people giving speeches in the squares. Fewer clashes at court.â But this didnât seem to stir him, and so she asked, âwould you really pour salt on the earth, all for a misguided grudge?â
That got his attention. Inaar raised her chin as dark eyes fixed themselves upon her, as if to bind her at the stake. She was preparing for a fight when Jallah suddenly laughed, deep voice blotting out the city sounds. Inaar couldnât tell if his shoulders were shaking in earnest or from the sudden jostling of the palanquin as he lowered himself onto the plush pillows. âAh, peshaa, Inaar,â he sighed. âI was warned at the beginning of the courtship that your tongue could scorch like Alikâr sand. But you canât burn whatâs already aflame for you, my heart.â Then he pulled her into a kiss, not caring that he would give the city a spectacle. For a moment, Inaar swore that the taste of the mint that heâd chewed was replaced by the tang of blood. The low-burning lust in his gaze, which returned to scanning the crowded city road, was not for her.
That was the man who would be waiting for her if she returned, eager to give her headaches and children: the families were not deterred by neither Jallahâs nor Inaarâs thirty-two years, no matter how long she tried to extend their courtship. She would be obliged to present to Hegathe a model family, shining in their perfection, while their retainers slid blades between the ribs of anyone whose lungs drew breath for the Forebears. She could not. Her death shroud would not be splattered with the blood of innocent people.Â
And even if she returned, she would never see Tenka, beautiful Tenka whose mind was brighter than a Northern star, ever again. She would never witness another sunrise out on the compound roof with her, hands intertwined like vines on the side of some Cyrodiil shack. Inaar would live out the rest of her days without Tenka al-Khosem, who would be whisked away to Sentinel âto further her studies.â She would not return; letters would be returned unopened, with a curt apology signed by Hakeem al-Khosem, chief administrator the College at Sentinel (Tenkaâs prudish, inflexible eldest brother). Inaar would not consign her beloved to such a fate, locked indefinitely in the Tower of Scholars without her consent. Inaar would not consign herself to such a fate, either, and so she ran. The entirety of her trail to Falkreath was soaked in her tears.Â
Skyrim was safer by comparison. Not safe - Inaar would not call the harsh, frosty and unforgiving country âsafeâ by any measure - but safer than turning back. The coin in her purse would give her a decent start. And no formal bond existed between the two nations that might drag Inaar kicking and screaming back to Hammerfell, and so Skyrim would have to do. Cold wind and shaggy unwashed Nords and all.
She would try her best not to grimace her way through the rest of her life.