#imsadyall

So as of 6pm Sunday, Swansea will be in local lockdown. We will loose our extended household/support bubble, and the ability to do things like go swimming at Aberavon and walk the dogs in Penllergare woods. We have seen this coming all week, and all been really anxious. Yesterday I was incredibly angry and sad. It feels like we’re being punished because of the people not following the rules. My brain keeps saying, over and over, “what if you die before you get to see these people you love again?”, which is a dramatic but genuine worry. We have arranged to spend time with the people in our bubble this weekend before we can’t see them for who knows how long. Saying goodbye for now hurts like hell tbh. I cried not once, but twice yesterday. But today I’m giving myself a kick up the arse and doing my best to enjoy this slice of time with people I adore, and to plan for our next step of lockdown. The one saving grace is our wonderful carer Michelle can still come in 💛 we’ve also been told by palliative care that she’ll support us to drive me to a Swansea beach to go swimming in the sea, as it’s so beneficial to my physical and mental health. We’ve already done more than 6 months of lockdown, and we’ve only had our support bubble for about a month. I keep telling myself, and all my amazing friends keep reminding me, that I’ve done this before, and I can do it again. And this time we already have loads of awesome online classes booked, we’re used to living together and have a good routine, and I’m not reducing my opioids and benzodiazepines. We got this 💪🏻 So although I may cry and scream and kick at life, I. Will. Not. Give. Up. #locallockdown #imsadyall #andveryangry #itsokaytocry #itsokaytobeangry #butdontgiveup https://www.instagram.com/p/CFl1maBDyCB/?igshid=1wag330u56xs2