read it here by flawedamythyst
Moriarty recaptures John and leaves him trapped in a world of hallucinations.
There were seeming endless distractions – even when John wasn't engaged in a hallucination that required intervention, he needed to be reminded to eat and sleep on a regular basis and occasionally convinced that yes, that really was food, and no, his bed wasn't part of a medieval siege weapon. All things Sherlock would have discarded as a waste of time if it had been just him, but he'd taken it upon himself to care for John and he didn't do anything poorly, even if it was something as unsuited to his personality as pandering to a sick person.
Will and I both felt this gif was accurate:
And Sherlock's just lost his other half of emotional stability, and he's just so 'heartsick',
and i love lestrade because he says it, "what happened to sherlock holmes was even worse" because he can't look away, he has to watch John be crazy and not-himself,because when John was himself he was all stoic and strong and sensible John,and he was Sherlock's friend, but now he's helpless and not in a right state of mind and Sherlock is worried that he wont ever come back and that Sherlock may not be able to fix John. So Sherlock is stuck with HIS FEELS about John, and how sad it is,and scary.
In this, we see Sherlock as his most human, because he is having to take on the yoke of emotional stability for the pair of them. He’s denying casework (Sherlock’s stimulant) in favor of doggedly pursuing an “impossible cure” for John’s psychosis. Sherlock wants to cure John, deeply wants to cure John, but not simply because of the “return to normalcy” desire (“John needs to get better so I can do cases again and I won’t have to be heartsick”). Rather, Sherlock wants John to get better because the pair have become intertwined in their survival. Sherlock needs John to get better, needs to “fix” John, so that John can return to fixing Sherlock. I reference the last scene of NTL Frankenstein.  "Don't leave me. Don't leave me alone. You and I, we are one. While you live I live. And when you are gone I-I must go too."  If John doesn’t get better, Sherlock feels like he will be lost as well.
All in all, an excellent fic. Will liked it all, save for the last bit. oh well.Â
