They sucked in a breath through their teeth. They’d been doing that for a while, each one making her even more nervous, but this one seemed final somehow.
“So. I can remove it. But…” they clearly didn’t want to say the next part. She didn’t want to hear it, either. “But it will give you one last shock.”
Her gloved hands flew to the collar. Trying to pull it away. Gripping either side of the prongs and desperately pulling them away from her neck. It didn’t help. It never helped.
“It’s—” they hesitated. “It will be bad. Actually, it'll be the worst it can do. But I think I can get it off you before it does any real damage.”
She closed her eyes. Trying not to show cold nor fear. Her eyes leaked, but she stayed quiet. She was good at quiet, now.
“How much?" she whispered.
"Damage? Nothing permanent, I think. If I'm fast enough"
"No," she whispered. "How much will it hurt." She could withstand a lot, she knew now. They both knew now. But not everything. And if she screamed, and the collar activated...
They shivered, but not from the cold. They were uncomfortable answering. "...A lot. I'm sorry, I really am. There's just no other way. Unless you wanted to wait months for the battery to run down?"
She shook her head vigorously. The sooner this thing was gone, the better. As long as it didn't let him know where they were.
She spoke softly. She always spoke softly, now. "Can we practice?"
They looked on at her, confused. "Practice what?"
She gestured to the collar, and whispered again. "Taking it off."
They looked at her, confused. "We can take it off all at once. It won't hurt for more than a second. We don't need to practice".
Now her voice was just a faint rasp. An onlooker could scarcely tell she was speaking at all, despite the blistering cold. "But if it goes wrong."
Their gaze went to the collar. Just like everyone else's always did. A stark reminder that she wasn't like the others. She was owned.
"It won't. I checked."
They always said stuff like that. So confident in themselves. The last group she'd found had had someone like that, too. That one didn't make it. She looked at them, prepared to say as much, and then stopped. It made sense, she supposed, why the crew followed their lead.
Eventually her attention wandered. She stared out, past them all, to the empty ice. That's where she'd be, if she forced them to abandon her. Alone except for the occasional penguin crossing her path. At least, until he came for her.
They were still there, next to her. Watching sympathetically. Always sympathetically.
"Please take it off," she said, and squeezed her eyes shut.
