#implied odazai

I see the way you look at him.

How you touch his shirt.

How you hold his hand.

How you crave his physical affections.

How you voice strange remarks to keep his attention.

How your eyes glimmer at the mere mention of him.

How the whiskey only strengthens your adoration...

How I wish I could be so loved.

How I wish I could be a topic to make your eyes glimmer.

How I wish I could have your physical affections moreso than the dutiful obligations you fulfill to keep me alive...

I can see it.

My future and yours are simply parallel;

We work side by side,

Never meant to intersect.

Your red string does not connect to mine.

I pull mine, winding it up into my palm,

One end connected to my pinky, the other loosely blowing in the wind.

I have no destined fate,

I’m only but an anomaly in this world.

Something never meant to exist.

Ha, how foolish of me to even wish for such frivolities.

I am only a tool of destruction.

I am but a stray dog awaiting orders.

I am not even human.

I do not need someone to connect to my thread.

I don’t deserve to have someone destined.

After all,