#impendingfuture

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+ sonicpendragon

+ impending-future

+ greaterspeed

+ kindheartedoverlander

+ shyultimatelifeform100

+ kazenoklonoa

+ officerzeoffrey

+ legendaryrogue

+ buzzingdetective

+ thehouseofivo

"Um, excuse me! Excuse-- Excuse me!"

My crazy biotch roommate #Fran took it upon herself to map out the various paths she can foresee for my #impendingfuture. Although for many this is a daunting and often scary task, Fran seems to have a special knack for predicting the future. Needless to say, any of the possibilities, were they to come true, would definitely leave me with an unending supply of things to rant about. Her ideas went as followed:

a) Holistic lifestyle, reproduce like a mormon, spend life on farm.

Fran made sure to paint a truly mesmerizing picture when describing my life as a farm wife. I would find myself a nice plaid, granola man namely with a long beard of sorts, marry the shit out of him and his farm, learn the ropes of being constantly covered in mud and reproduce faster than the rabbits we would no doubt have as pests or really pets. However, while I might still have a little dirt under my fingernails, I would also seamlessly be able to craft things and create a stunning "wild" yet refined farm house all the while making perfect packed lunches for my children to take to the hippie school they no doubt would walk to. At first this may seem like a massive leap back in time (aka Laura Engel anyone?) but to Fran, this seemed like the perfect way to match my need to be a little dirty while still creating a beautiful family worthy of an L.L.Bean catalogue or dare I even say Ralph Lauren fall photo shoot? While juggling my many tasks such as pickling, making jams and knitting Weasley-esq sweaters, I would be salting the meat for the "long winter ahead," as well as teaching my children to ride our various farm animals. Fran made sure to point out this would be ideally done in a rural, yet still somewhat accessible country village town somewhere in the North East or perhaps even the wild wild west. 

b) Crazy hippie, hemp-clothed, philanthropist, english teacher: 

Fran's second plan for me was to move to some sort of tragically poor, yet stunningly beautiful island (Fiji or Thailand perhaps?) and become a soulful yet strong hippie queen. I would live in a hut on stilts so as to be close to nature, allowing the ever-moving waves of the majestic ocean to pass beneath me as a constant reminder of the constant change we all must bow to in life. I would own only organic products mostly picked from my love garden, wearing clothes made of hemp and leaves. To cook, I would use my clay and mud oven built for me by my island lover. Although my main job would be spreading joy and love to every soul and being I had the privilege of meeting, my side job might include teaching english to the multitudes of students I would undoubtably treat as my own offspring. Fran made sure to point out that although my glowing tan and radient skin might  enhance my current beauty, my hair care might take a slight downturn and turn to dreadlocks. As I would be living a life far removed from modern hair products my only hope would be the olive oil I would make from the olive tree in my love garden. 

c) Stripper working her way up the stripper ladder, or pole if you will: