#impclsive

For every ➹ I get, I’ll put up my muse’s current thought

Without any more words she seats herself beside him on the couch -- for once at her place -- with her head coming to rest on his shoulder; loud sigh falling from her lips. She must seem quite desperate, huh?  ❝ Abraham.. attention me. ❞ The whole sentence comes out in a whiny tone, wiggling a little in her spot in hopes he’d just finally listen. If not she’d die right there! Cause of death? Lack of attention, duh. As no real response to her words comes she raises her head back up, looking at him closely with her eyebrows knitted, clearly she isn’t amused right now. ❝ Why are you not willing to give me attention, what is this? All we’ve been through, Abraham. And there you go acting as if I don’t exist! What are you? A wax figure? Can you not hear me, huh? I’ll bite you. ❞ Now her eyes squint at him, oh she’s completely serious. She would bite him if that’s what it would take to gain his attention. This whole situation calls for drastic actions. After only a few seconds in silence she’s pursing her lips, getting even closer than she had been before. Yes, she’s making kissy sounds at him -- just because maybe that annoying sound would eventually do something.

i’m changing my name to Tea I’m Not A Dead President Stop please address me as such from here on out.

Promises filled with nothing, empty, lonely. Much like the two souls that had somehow befriended, years ago when things were easy and the worries weren’t as heavy on their shoulders, when life wasn’t trying to bring them down. 

Areum had always been broken but the possibility of mending another’s soul, to protect it as if it was her own that she had seen shattering to little pieces in front of her eyes, was the only thought on her mind, the only cloud above her head that guided her to open the lips that had been closed for everyone else ever since the people that were supposed to love her unconditionally decided to leave her at some orphanage. If her parents had left, what would stop every stranger she meets along the the trembling road that is her life to leave as well? It’s not hard- in fact, it’s quite easy. Footsteps echoing, further and further away from her, not a single look given her way; she is tossed aside like a cigarette when they have had enough, but the only difference is that she had never been an addiction, something worth keeping. They step on her with the sole of their shoes and they light her off.

There is always a little girl, small, fragile, in the corner of a room, the sound of the other kids laughter, their conversations, so naive, so futile, enter her ears and despite her not saying a word, looking out the window, awaiting something to arrive, she still wishes someone will understand, would smile and promise to stay----she wished to have no worries, much like those in the same room as her.

There is a tall boy, he grows like the bushes in a garden and the branches of a tree, no one lets him forget it. But there is more to him than that and the small girl can see the look on his eyes and it’s almost hard to realise exactly what it is; she can’t exactly put her finger on what he’s thinking but she is bound to protect him either way. She gets tired of being weak and is set on standing before him if a any word is thrown his way----if it was a fist, she’d stand before him anyway, she’d shield him. They make promises they can’t keep and for a moment, she believes them, wholeheartedly.

But in the end, nothing is always that easy.

Years later and everything changed. The naive kids that found some kind of shelter in each other no longer saw life in such a beautiful way- it was tough on both of them and Areum couldn’t protect him any longer. She tried but her own life derailed like a train, going to fast, crashing. 

She blames herself.

She hadn’t protected him.

Despite his attempt to hide it, it was still there- the bruises marking his skin and she could see it in his eyes again, almost like it was years before when they had met; he was recalling the moment he got those bruises and Areum could only sigh, a deep, long sigh that held some sort of guilt---guilt for not having stood before him just like she had promised to. The reckless behavior both got accostumed to, she wished for him not to go through it, but how much of a hypocrite she was to ask him to promise her to do so when she was going on behind his back doing the same. Pathetic of her, really. Maybe she had been too focused on protecting him that she forgot about herself.

❝ Of course it wasn’t much of a fight---you barely were able to hit them back! I can’t believe this.. Four against one? Do you have a death wish? ❞

Could you really say that, Areum? You’re just the same. You get reckless, you destroy yourself and you don’t mind.

Her mind never gave her a break but she always decided to push it away, to push the voice away, focus on her friend. She could barely look at him without seeing red, without feeling guilt climbing up her limbs almost as if it were creepers attaching herself to her body, quicker than expected. She felt almost trapped in that feeling.