ANYWAY WERE BACK 😛

You see cute furry dogs, you're overflowing with excitement, you dont know what to do with the raging emotions and this is what'll help calm you down 🤣 #thefeels #smilingafterwards #imokaynow https://www.instagram.com/p/BwbJNXsnEA3/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1vhy6q685ms4r

I think my account’s appearance needs some changing, dont you think? ;)

Evening guys! So, I don't know how many of you will read this, but something happened to me today that hasn't happened in I think 2 years. So, DragonWarrior92 's grandmother was telling me about a family member who had passed away. I already knew about the death, but I didn't want to be rude, so I sat there listening. I knew that he was a cop, and that he was on his way to a crime scene (I think) when he died. He had a wife who I think is currently pregnant. She's expecting a baby really soon, anyway. So, for whatever reason, his grandmother decides to tell me that he died in a car accident, and that he wasn't wearing a seat belt. That instantly put me into a flash back of Bowman. The day I was told of his car accident. It hit me enough that I actually started fighting back tears. DragonWarrior and his sister tell her that the detail had actually upset me. I tried to tell them to not worry about it, because I felt that it really wasn't something to fuss over. I over heard their grandmother say "ya, well, it's a death"... Yes, yes it is... So for my new watchers, Bowman Mills was a really close friend of mine and my brothers. He died in a car accident, and everyone else that was with him made it out alive with minor injuries. One kid had broken ribs, and the others had scraps and bruises. They were all distraught, and I can't imagine the kind of pain they had or have. When I found out what the details were, my very active imagination pictured the scene in my head, and I've been scarred ever since. I developed a fear of driving (I didn't have an interest before then anyway), and it made it hard to just get into a vehicle. Even if I knew someone was a safe driver, I hesitated. Before his passing, I didn't wear a seatbelt when I sat in the back seat. But after Bowman's accident, I made it a habit to make sure it was on. After suffering from the fear for 2 years, with the help of my parents, siblings, friends and generally everyone who believed in me, I took driving classes when I was 21. I'm now 22, and I'm starting to enjoy driving, but I still do what I can to be a safe driver. I don't know why the flash back occurred, so if anyone can help me understand, I would appreciate it. I do sort of talk about Bowman often, and it helps me to not fall back into the depression I was in before. I don't think many people noticed, but the once who did had to fight me to get me to admit it. I don't actually like admitting it when I'm hurting or stressed out, and I usually don't express it here on dA. I won't say anything unless someone asks me if I'm doing ok, and even then it depends if I want to talk about it or not. Sometimes I feel like I burden people when I tell them my problems, and perhaps I don't. But it does run through my mind. I'm sure it does for anyone. Well, I better try to get some sleep. It's almost 11pm where I'm at, and I'm already developing insomnia again. I had in elementary all the way up to high school, and now it comes in phases. Depends on how stressed out I am, and how long I've been stressed out for. Well, night everyone, and thanks for listening (er.. Reading? Lol) ~AmeStilskin