#imnotyouralice

Rain pattered on the metal grates that interrupted the pavement of the Gotham Streets, sending water pouring down into the black sewers below. A world no one ever saw but everyone was infinitely grateful for. It was a place no one ever wanted to be but it held all the garbage and waste “decent” people didn’t want to deal with.

A lot like Arkham in a lot of ways..

From under the safety of an umbrella Jervis walked, grocery bag hanging off of his arm as he held his phone in the hand not hanging onto the handle of his protection from the rain. He scrolled aimlessly, paying no mind to the actual images and words on the screen. He simply didn’t want to look up, didn’t want to look anyone in the eye by mistake. And if he appeared to be busy it discouraged others from talking to him as well.. He had already had the awkward encounter of someone recognizing him twice this week.

Through crowded pathways and up creaky stairs Tetch shouldered through, paying no mind to the rude remarks as he made his way back to his humble flat. He stopped at the community mail room and unlocked his box with a breath of exhaustion as he found he had mail. Never good news.

Hanging his umbrella over his arm with his groceries he climbed the stairs further, up to the third story, giving a polite nod to a woman walking in the opposite direction with her children. She made no effort to hide the fact that she was disgusted and she hurried her little ones along.

Hmph.

Fumbling with his keys he barely got one in the lock when suddenly his phone had his attention again. It was ringing! That... Was highly unusual. He pulled it from his coat pocket, blinking as the touch screen showed an odd collection of numbers. Oh, he recognized the number, but he had no idea why it was calling him.

He hesitated.

.... Should he...? No. Probably a mistake. Surely she wouldn’t want to talk to him on purpose. He swiped his thumb over the red icon and sent the caller to voicemail. Then back into the pocket the phone went.

He pushed open his door and stepped into the tiny space he called home. The empty room greeted him coldly as it always did. The faint smell of wood and stale air refreshing as ever. It was only temporary, though. A ‘halfway house’ for those who needed help getting ‘back on their feet’. Arkham always provided these to their recently released inmates. They were glorified hotel rooms really. A sparse living space with a kitchenette, enough room for a couch and a tv and a closet just barely big enough to fit a bed in right beside the washroom.

... Luxurious. But at least it had a built in wake-up alarm as the train passed every morning.

Jervis Tetch shrugged, pushing the door closed behind him before kicking off his wet shoes just inside the threshold. The umbrella joined them shortly after. Discarded in a wet plop on the wood floor. He hung his coat on a wall hook, leaving it behind as he walked further into his ‘home’

“Alright, Jervis, let’s see what we have today..”

He talked to himself as always as he wandered into his ‘kitchen and set out his various items on the counter. His groceries spilled out but he didn’t really care if an apple tried to get out of the bag. It wasn’t like it was going anywhere. Instead he leaned his back against that counter and began sorting through his mails. Flipping the envelope that was on top back to the back of the stack as he read the sender’s address and name.

Bill... Bill.. Angry letter... Bill.. Warning from Batman.. Bill..

Just as he was getting to the last envelope that sound assaulted his ears again and he looked up. Across the room the shape of his phone’s screen illuminated the pocket of his coat, calling him over as it chimed and vibrated between the fabric.

... What? There was no way. Likely a coincidence.

Setting the letters he’d already looked at down he walked over to his coat with a frown. A part of him hoped it wasn’t some curious mistake. That perhaps she had really intended to call him. Perhaps to establish contact again. After so many years apart maybe she was finally welcoming him back into her life.

Oh, how a man could dream.

He pulled out his phone again and saw the same beautiful numbers smiling up at him. He stared, thumb hovering over that answer button. It would be so easy. Just swipe and you can talk to her... It didn’t violate the restraining order if she called him first right?... Right?

.. Wrong.

With a frustrated huff he swiped to ignore again, tossing the phone onto the couch in the middle of the room. It wasn’t worth the trouble tonight. Likely a joke by her new boyfriend.... Eugh. He wanted to be sick at the thought.

He looked back down at the envelope, pristine and white in his hands. He flipped it over, seeing nothing on it but a sticker sealing the back closed. A little blue cat sticker wearing a cheerful smile. Oh, how charming. But who...?

He gently nudged his finger under the lip of the envelope, careful not to tear it as he pulled up the sticker. He didn’t want to rip the poor thing after all. Would be such a shame to waste it if someone went to the trouble. He could see a bit of paper inside, a letter maybe.

Unfortunately his attempts to simply read his mail were interrupted by a harsh

                             KNOCK KNOCKING

                                                                         at his door...

Oh, now what?

Heaving a sigh he turned full circle and stomped his way back to the door, back to the wet shoes and the umbrella, back to the coat hanging on the wall- He grabbed the doorknob and pulled the door open, honestly so entirely fed up when-

                                   “You sent me to voicemail...?”

His heart stopped.

Dead in his chest. He stared, eyes unblinking and utterly shocked.

Alice stood in his entryway, leaning an arm on his door frame, looking down at her phone with an unamused, annoyed looking stare. When her gaze looked up, locking on his own any hope Tetch had that her calls might have been goodwill were dashed. She did not look very happy to see him.

“A-Alice? What are you-?” He looked around, completely caught off guard. Here he was in a horrible green sweater, wet from the rain and she was THERE! Beautiful and radiant despite her anger. Anger that he couldn’t imagine the cause of. Her presence baffling to his mad mind.

“How do you... Know where I live?” He couldn’t help but ask after a moment, that being the first of many questions in his mind.

She rolled her eyes, slipping her phone into her purse. “Same way you know where I live, dipshit.”

... Rude.. But alright.

She stepped inside. He stepped back. She closed the door, he was tempted to jump out the window. All at once a memory of their previous encounter came rushing back to him and a sense of dread overcame him. It chilled him to a place deeper than the water soaking into his clothes. Both how eerily similar this moment was to that night so many years ago where he was in her place.... And to the night only months before where she could have ended his life for good..

“I-”

“Stop.” Alice cut him off quickly, holding up a hand. Jervis’ lips closed tightly, his nerves coiling in his gut, “You owe me a damn good explanation for what happened to me last night.”

“Last.. Night?”

Last night... Last night. He was reading in bed after watching TV for a few hours... Was he missing something?

“I’m sorry, Alice, I don’t know what you-”

“Don’t play stupid with me, Tetch! I know this is yours!”

Suddenly, shoved right up against his nose is the familiar image of a large white card. That friendly 10/6 winking at him like an old friend. He took it, frowning with his entire expression, looking back and forth from the card to Alice and back again. How did she get this? Where did she get this? This was-

“Not mine.” He told her softly as he flipped it over. Oh, heavens, no. Definitely not his. “This is some of the worst circuitry work I’ve ever seen! Why, the connections are barely made. I would have never allowed this-!”

She cleared her throat and he smiled sheepishly, sensing she had no desire to hear him ramble.

“Alice, dear, I’m sorry to say I have no Earthly idea where this came from.” He confessed, tracing the edges of the card with his fingers.

“Bullshit.” She snapped, hand on her hip, “Last night a man wearing this jumped on me and tried to kill me. Why would he be wearing this if it had nothing to do with you? Who else has this kind of capability? Who else uses your insane gimmick?”

‘Mad’, he nearly corrected her.

He had to admit, he wouldn’t have believed himself either. Given the circumstances he’d assume he was guilty as well.. But Alice wasn’t the scientist here. She could tell him all about filing and filling coffee orders but this was his area of expertise.

But it was infinitely upsetting to learn that this- This insultingly bad copy was used to try and hurt his dear Alice.

“Hmm.. Well, I’m afraid I don’t know, Alice. I’ve barely been out of Arkham but a few months... It’s possible anyone could have found one of my old cards and used it to attack someone...”

“But why me? I’m supposed to believe someone found one of your cards and decided to use it on the one person you always have it out for?”

“Alice do you honestly believe that I would kill you? What would I honestly gain from that?” He asked her, giving her a level stare as he looked her dead in the eye. Something flashed across her face. Fear, maybe, surprise more likely. Difficulty in believing that perhaps, he was telling her the truth. With a slow breath he looked down at the control card, feeling its static tickle his skin...

She’d handed him the means to render her completely mindless... It would be so easy now to use this distraction. Run away with her... Oh, how silly of a mistake that was. It would be no difficult matter to-

Oh, but no... No, no, no. Someone tried to use this device to hurt his Alice! And it was now a matter of honor to figure out what impostor dared harm his Alice.

“Close the door, dear. Come. Sit. I’ll make us some tea while we figure this out, hm?” He smiled politely, drumming the card against his palm with the unread letter thoughtfully as he turned away from her. What to do, what to do...

“Tetch, I’m not stay-” She tried to begin but he cut her off once more.

“You didn’t come all this way not to find out who tried to kill you, did you?”

He looked back, winking over his shoulder at the younger blonde as he pulled a kettle from the cupboard and began to fill it with water. Alice’s body tensed and he couldn’t imagine why. Honestly, if she would just admit that there was always something between them things would have gone so much better for them...

“... Fine. But I’m not drinking the tea.”

He chuckled, turning on the small stove and setting the kettle on its electric burner.

“Fair enough, Dear Alice..”

“Jervis?”

“Mm-Yes?”