#imgoingtodeletethis

God, sometimes I don’t get it.

You volunteered to die. You’re God. I don’t understand it.

But you didn’t just volunteer to die for no reason. You died for all the times I had premarital sex with people who weren’t my husband. You died for every swindle of liquor and blunt I rolled with the intention of getting incoherent. You died for everytime I cursed at my parents. For the times I watched porn with friends. For the times I hooked up with multiple people of the same sex. Even for the time I cheated on my math final.

I can almost hear you crying the entire time, begging me to stop all those things, telling me there is more to life than this. But you died for them nonetheless, God.

And you didn’t just die for me. You died for that ex who made a fake myspace about me, put nude pics up, and friended people from school. You died for the men who sexually assaulted me. You died for the man who punched me in a parking lot and sped off.

It confuses me, God. I believe you, but those people don’t. And I don’t understand why you died for me.. Let alone why you died for them, God. Aren’t you perfect and holy and the essence of justice?

But at the same time, I do, God. You love us all so much; more than any spouse or parent or child ever could. Your love is incomprehensible, unexplainable. Your Son dying was the only way our naturally evil selves could ever have a chance at being in Your perfect and holy presence. Without the only perfect and holy one in the universe - You - shedding Your blood on the cross, we’d have zero chance.

It was THE ONLY WAY.

AND YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO DO IT.

You love us so much, you sucked it up and did it anyway. The gruesome cross, wrought with your darkened blood, tearing at your stretched flesh. You did it anyway..

So now we have not just an opportunity, but a choice. We have a decision. We have free will. To believe or not to believe you. To follow or not to follow you. To love or not to love you.

One choice, one decision leads to an eternal life without you. One leads to an eternal life with you.