#imalittleufo

All the textures of spring 🐝 🌼

I recently got an extensive breast reduction and as the world is starting fresh, so am I.

The absence of intimacy burns my skin

The lack of consistency is stretching me thin

My time is precious, I am not entertainment

These actions, will cause neutral disengagement

For I have spent my life accepting less

I am not a pawn, in anyone’s game of chess.

I am a vast wildflower garden

Beware, for my flowers have thorns that have been sharpened

They’ve grown to adapt to the world around them

For many of these monsters have attempted to pluck my beauty, yet one prick and they're condemned

For they can’t seem to sit back and appreciate my colorful waves

Claiming my life—my essence is what they crave

My personality this time won't be dissolved

Because through the darkness, I have evolved.

Never in a million years did I think I would love my natural blonde curls… I’ve always hated the way I looked if I didn’t have crazy dyed hair.

Oh, I'm 'bout to cardiac

The way you move that thing

Gosh, I can't believe I'm in the final two month count down until my semester starts. I'll be taking all upper-level classes, my butts gonna get whooped. It's gonna be worth it though!

I've been having an immensely difficult time lately writing, that writers block and my fear of imperfection have got me in a chokehold. I am torn between multitudes of elements in my life and just feel stagnant in a sense.

I know that I'm struggling with this issue because I've gotten comfortable again, warm and cozy in my comfort zone. I just had a major surgery five weeks ago, recovery has been tough. I haven't been able to do my regular schedule and have been very reclusive. Moments that didn't used to cause me anxiety as much anymore, seem to be raring their head once again.

I'm stagnant because I've allowed change to become overwhelming--instead of feeling its comfortability and trusting the process. I started to do things like I used to, fell back into old patterns and it's okay. I have the skills now to observe my behaviors and move through it, realigning myself with that is authentic to my experience.

Since I'm having writers block, I told myself I needed to just sit down and put words on the page. Stop obsessing over what I write, how I say--just letting my thoughts flow...spilling onto the page gracefully like the server who pours my morning coffee at the restaurant I frequent so often.

I've swam upstream a majority of my life and as I'm coming further into sobriety, I have begun to not ALWAYS swim upstream. This game of LiFe has been teaching me the lessons that it can be easy, it can be fun...if I am willing to step out of self.

I've been digging more and more into why I have the intense need to be perfect and the direct correlation it has to the fear of making mistakes. Those two ideas tie into some of my biggest fears, that somehow I'm too much and not enough all at the same time. I'm learning every single day that I'm worthy just as I am, just as I'm showing up on this page.

There is beauty in vulnerability.

I'm going to overcome this writer's block, by continuing to show up on the page until I am inspired once again.