#imaginarymen

ANY? ANY/?!?!?! ahem AHEm let me consult the archives

they are both insufferably pretentious about alcohols. you'll suggest they take out some kind of brandy from the cabinet and next thing you know they're almost screaming over each other trying to explain how what barrel it was aged in influences its taste or some shit

both can cook but they have different areas of expertise. hammerlock is that one guy who knows how to cook meat of creatures you never even heard of existing. wainwright just really likes baking (he guarded the familial recipe book w his life during the whole cov thing because if that buttermilk biscuit recipe is gone it is joever for him)

their dates are either compromises, something they both like (rare but these things do exist) OR something only one of them likes but it's his turn to decide so the other has to begrudgingly agree to it. they still try their best to find something they enjoy in what the other enjoys. love wins

they have soooooooooo many stupid in-jokes and silly sayings and euphemisms only they understand... wainwright says he's going gardening but what he actually means is he needs to put an mf in the goddamn dirt

t4t and aut4aut source: im gearbox. they do eachothers testosterone shots and take turns infodumping. i actually wrote a whole fic abt the former LMAO

own a neverending collection of silly matching things. wedding revolvers? might as well have matching holsters and speedloaders for them. "sir" and "mr." mugs? absolutely. bathrobes with their house crests embroidered on the chest??? you betcha

wainwright has bad circulation. alistair is a living space heater. they hold hands and cuddle about it. thermodynamic equilibrium my fave ship dynamic

the jakobs estate has a "beware of husband" plaque attached to the gates. which husband? fuck around and find out

Hi there! I was just wondering the other day how you were doing since I hadn’t seen you on my dash in a little bit, good to hear from you again :D I’m good, things have really been looking up these last two months. I hope all’s well with you, too!

Right this moment I’ve started a new Pathfinder campaign, so I have my latest PC on my mind. He’s a total mess. He’s an idiot play boy former-pretty-boy turned accidental necromancer on his way to lichdom—unbeknownst to him. He thinks he just has ‘a weird allergy to positive energy’. He also doesn’t remember anything from the last year, and it was during that time that his appearance became a bit…let’s say unhealthy looking because he’d take offense if I said ‘dead looking’ 😂. And he gained dark magic along with these changes.

And he’s found he has a taste for power since gaining a little.

Which is *totally* not going to lead to anything negative for his alignment at all. That and all the necromancy and evil aligned spells he wants to cast…

Basically a study on why you don’t give the manipulative narcissistic asshole magic powers. Not that he’s actually done anything wrong yet. Big emphasis on the yet. We’re only two sessions in. We have plenty of time for him to fuck around and find out.

He already made a deal to become one of Baba Yaga’s Black Riders because he believes if the party saves Baba Yaga she’ll owe them, and having someone that powerful owing him was appealing. Even though he didn’t really think through the ‘if the enemy was powerful enough to do something to Baba Yaga, how powerful must they be?’ part of the equation. He’s just looking at it like:

Make deal with the Black Rider

Go to Irrisen, search for Baba Yaga

???

Profit

…