#ilyangst

I think Ilya is kind of a messy bitch in TLG in the sense that he quietly and wholeheartedly has the misunderstanding that coming out or people knowing about him and Shane would cure his depression. Like yes it would help but girl. Let’s be real here. I also don’t know if he buys into the idea of depression being a purely chemical brain issue. Like he thinks his life circumstances have been to blame. In this way he also thinks Shane is making his depression worse by insisting they hide, which he can’t let Shane know of course. Because Ottawa was supposed to be enough for him. But it’s getting worse. But Shane can’t know. Hashtag his torture spiral