I think Mike wanted the conversation about El in the van to be what it was in Jonathanās room. It was set up to be the same: Will talking about something impassionedly, Mike a bit absent, Will noticing and giving providing him a space to talk.Ā
But in the first iteration he told MikeĀ āyou know, if you keep staring at that, itās not gonna changeā. I think the difference for Will is that he didnāt know that Mike was staring at theĀ āfromā not the fact that she was gone, so he was talking about her absence. But still, Mike took the advice and threw the letter away.
Will was right in Jonathanās room. She signed itĀ āfromā. He just had to move on, and thatās okay.
Will was right in the desert. Sometimes itās hard to tell people your true feelings because they might hurt the person, but itās still important for them to know. They deserve to know.
From Mikeās perspective, Willās words had always been applicable to what Mike was thinking about andĀ Will meant them that way. How else would he have meant them? To claim it was personal was baseless. So he took Willās words and ran with them: that Will was telling him to move on from her romantically but that they were still friends and she deserved the truth so that they could be that. He had to get over their romantic relationship but it would ultimately be okay.
So he opened up in the van, expecting the same. Worrying that once he told her that he didnāt love her romantically, she would ditch him because he couldnāt give her that anymore; because he didnāt love her in the way she wanted him to. He expected - wanted - Will to tell him that it would be okay. That it would hurt her a little but not too bad and that it was more important to be honest.
But that isnāt what Will said. Will told him how much she loved and needed him. He told him how hurt she would beĀ if heĀ āripped off the band aidā. That she was terrified of losing him. What? This whole time Will had been encouraging him to move on and now he was saying to stay with her because it would hurt her too much. (That her being his friend would be a sacrifice that hurt her but she would make it because she loved him so much). He couldnāt do that to her.
So yeah, maybe, in the van, he became a little mesmerized, wishing it was someone else speaking for themself, before he realized what Will was really saying to him. And maybe, in the desert reuniting with El, he looked between El and Will a little weird. He was confused. Will was sending some serious mixed signals. But he couldnāt hurt El anymore. Especially knowing now how muchĀ it would hurt. (cut scene:Ā āit just - hurts too muchā).
Will told him essentially that telling her would break her heartĀ and then when she was dying, reminded him of that fact. So he pursed his lips. And he lied. He didnāt want to. But if telling her now would hurt her that much, he guesses heāll just go back to trying to love her romantically. And maybe heāll get there someday. And sheād never have to know it was ever a lie.
In conclusion: Willās speech conveyed very successfully the emotions he was feeling. And how his heart was breaking. But he used Elās name over it. And Mike just couldnāt break the heart of someone who loved him the way Will described. So not knowing better because Willās lie unknowingly encouraged him to lie (just like his previous truth in the desert encouraged the opposite), he did. The names were swapped so, like a self-fulfilling prophecy, he broke the heart of the person Will described.Ā āYou often meet your fate on the road you take to avoid it.ā And now, El isnāt speaking to him and he thinks he is completely trapped by trying not to hurt her, especiallyĀ with her best friend now in a coma, he canāt give her more (now worse, because he lied to her) bad news. So he is trying for it to be true. But under Willās advice as well, he started to let himself get over that. And he started to let go. And he knew it felt right. But now heās forced himself back into this box because now itās a conscious force. And El will have to break him out of it. Because he is terrified of hurting her, so she will have to show him that it wouldnāt.
Mike canāt tell El because he doesnāt want to hurt her so she has to tell him.
Will canāt tell Mike because he doesnāt want to hurt El so he has to tell him.Ā
El is the centerpiece of miscommunication - because only she knows right now that it wouldnāt hurt her like they think it would. Just one fateful word about that and all the miscommunications and lies crumble and reveal themselves. Thank God.Ā
