#ily analysis

I know Nol has too many things on his plate to even think about pursuing romance with Shinae (even though his heart says yes, lmfao). He's way too stubborn. And I've said it on my previous analysis that it's Shinae's time to step up and be the "blind one," to quietly let Nol open his mask in front of her without making a huge deal about it.

Right now, Shinae is still in denial of her romantic feelings for Nol, which is understandable. But once she has calmed down, think things throughly, and decide that she will pick Nol as the love interest she won't let go,

I hope Shinae will unabashedly say "I Love You" to Nol everytime she visits him in jail. To let him know that someone (aside from his Nana) really love him and will always be by his side.

Like, forget about becoming a couple and its implication for a moment. I just hope Shinae will give Nol constant hope and reassurance that someone genuinely loves him out there. That he's not unwanted or unneeded. That he's really special.

What promted me to write this? Well, I was re-reading. I know she was panicking but she did say this:

(I hope she sticks to this conviction even after she calms down)

and I just remembered this line from Kono Oto Tomare,

which I think, can really resonate with how Shinae might feel about Nol in the future.

And I thought:

"wouldn't it be so cool if Shinae were able to casually tell Nol how much she loves him because the time time they have is too precious and limited to be spend on feeling embarassed?"

Nol will be flabbergasted, overwhelmed, I'm sure. Depending on how aggressive Shinae pursue him, I wonder if he'll get an ick because it reminds him of Meg's advance towards Kousuke (God I hope not). But since the words come from Shinae, the person he loves, I hope those words can give him the courage to face his own feelings and makes him open up to her.

...

*Episode 3-4*

Holy moly I underestimate how much I forget about the details in early ILY.

⚠️Spoilers. I've read ILY until the latest episode. If you are completely new to I Love Yoo or if you haven't caught up yet, please keep walking. But if you're the same as me, welcome!

Btw here's my reaction to previous episodes: 1 /

Episode 3

Never realize Maya's house is the exact same house I've seen in much further episode 🤣 The consistency impressed me.

Lmao, Maya's incest manga. I forgot it's from this ep. I really need to read Maya's character analysis in one of these days while my memory is still fresh...

I tried analyzing Maya's stuff on her display, but no luck. There's some kind of doll house(?) that reminds me of a court house(??) There's also a pegasus figure (???) And is that a trophy? In a shape of what, a bird? A person in gymnastic?? (did Maya ever got into a competition or smth? or myb its minhyuk's somehow) I have no idea what this all means. Maybe I'll look into it once it comes up again in later episodes. Or I'll just try scour fans' analysis on this.

One of my pet peeve: why didn't Maya & Rika give Shinae a full explanation/disclosure about the party they're going into before they ordered the masks and dressed up. I think the disclosure would do wonders for Shinae to prepare herself before entering this party. With the last-minute informations, it kinda seems like both of them are throwing Shinae into the sharks, esp if Shinae is unfamiliar with upper-class kind of party. It's kinda careless of them if you ask me. Maybe because they're so used to this party, they didn't consider to put themselves into Shinae's shoes?

Okay, so it's called Hirahara Convention Center. Never payed attention to that until now.

"We promise you're going to have so much fun, Shinae!" Oh. yeah. Fun. Famous last words.

The strangers who stare at Shinae, one of them has similar hairstyle as the new Nol, lol. For a second I thought it's Nol, but I remember his suit at that time was grey, not black... but fr tho, are they just random npc or should i keep an eyes on them?? or myb the detailed character design is just there to emphasize how sharp their gaze is at her...

See, my pet peeve. If you guys had warned Shinae about the party much earlier, maybe she could've prepared a better mask. Or maybe you could've helped her making a cuter one, idk. But ngl, Shinae's mask here IS iconic.

Is Rika's father Jayce?? Or not??

Oh yeah, the girls were focusing on what they want, not what she needs... even though they're the one who pushed her to join this party...

(I just read an analysis that the girls consider Shinae as a pigsty bc she eats a lot, but never consider why she eats a lot and stays thin in the first place... bc eating is such a priviledge for Shinae bc she's struggling with money... and now I'm broken T_T)

Kinda wonder if in the future Shinae will warm up to join parties because of her new forced lifestyle...

"This stupid mask though, making my face get all sweaty..." Is it a a foreshadowing that Shinae will still be uncomfortable wearing a "mask" even after 4 years learning to follow Yui's footstep? Or is it just a sign that Shinae will progress, from unable to keep her mask to being able to keep it on for so long?

Now that I'm older, I just realize those guys are straight up harassing Shinae 😪

Why is Nol & Soushi in the dance area, though. Nol doesn't seem like the type who enjoy that. Maybe Soushi wants to dance? Doesn't seem like him (or myb I barely know him). Bc if anything, Soushi would've loved the free buffet even more. Maybe Soushi wants to meet some girls on the dance floor (either for himself or for Dieter)?

Wait, is Nol nearby because he sees a woman (Shinae) in trouble? Does he already suspect it's the girl he met at the burger place based on her overall stature and her...unique mask??

Fuxk I forgot Nol has a great memory. With how memorable their first meeting on ep 2, ofc he's gonna recognize her from first glance in ep 3. Question is, is he nearby because he already recognize her from far away & he tries to approach her, or is he nearby simply because he happened to accompany Soushi to the dance floor?

Istg the reason why Nol is nearby and bumped into Shinae in this episode will determine whether their second meeting is intentional or coincidence. Whether he approaches her because he's really interested in her or because he happen to notice she's in trouble and will need Yeong-Gi's help. Whether he's approaching her as Nolan or as Yeong-Gi.

I AM STILL SALTY SHE DIDNT GET TO EAT THOSE FOODS.

WHat the Fuck, Kousuke. I know you're cranky because of Meg (iirc), but do you have to trip Shinae like that? Is that a gentleman attitude? Humiliating a poor woman who's just trying to enjoy her food? You could've just asked nicely, yknow. (Not that Shinae will give up her tiramisu easily, but at least it's much better than tripping her up?) Kou is behaving like such a child here. Is it because Yui didn't give him his usual dose or smth? 😭

Episode 4

I love Shinae's unhingedness.

Oh. My. GOD I can't believe I used to ship Shinsuke when he's being this ass??? Why did I ever consider this scene romantic 😭 (myb in my head i thought this is the start of enemies-to-lovers, but this is nastyy 🤣😭 shinae is over it prob, but now that kou's crumbling down, kinda curious how's he gonna react if he remember how they first met...)

Is Kousuke just asking for a fight??? Why is he being this classist & crankyy helpp 🤣🤣🤣 (Beside Meg, I don't remember Nol causing problem to Kou tho, so what gives?? kinda remember vaguely nol was ignoring kou, but was their problem prior to this really that serious?)

Like, Kou, I get it. You're stressed out, you need a reliever, and she happens to take away your precious sweet. Her dress looks cheap. She's not wearing any make-up or accessories to make herself prettier. She eats a lot. Sure those might irritate you because she's not up to your standard guest. But that's not an excuse to trip her and call her names. She's just minding her own business! She's innocent?? Ig in your defense, if only she dressed better or watched her manner gracefully you would've treat–

Wait. Is he lowkey jealous because she looks poor, yet, she doesn't need to keep up appereances to be happy??? He feels tired & miserable throughout the night and he still has to keep up apperances, so seeing someone poor but completely content without a care in the world pisses him off? (That does tie up with his jealousy for Nol, doesn't it... now i wonder if he sees young!nol in this moment and becomes irritated...)

I know that Kou is in the wrong here, but it bad that I actually find his attitude refreshing compared to the usual Kou who's all proper & perfect to please his father? Like, it fits his mental age (of 12) lmaoo . Still, that doesn't make me want him to treat people poorly.

omg omg omg. I know someone said NolShin's interaction at the very beginning is a premonition(?) of their future dynamic, that Shinae will be able to calm down Nol's chaotic energy. What if Shinsuke's first interaction here is also a premonition of their future dynamic: that Kou will be able to show his disheveled self—free from Yui's influence—in front of Shinae, while she will be able to keep him in check? im prob reaching here.

YEAHH GET EM SHINAE.

Kousuke, honey, I don't think $10,000 worth that much when your "brother's" alma jacket costs the same, so... myb you can get a much better & expensive suit later? Lol.

I forgot to mention it but I have a 'what-if' that this party will be a parallel of NolShin's reunion 4 years in the future. Like, Shinae will attend Hirahara party again but this time she has become Yui's "pawn," she's no longer an outsider, she will handle the party much better, she will get used to Kou's antics by now, and then a "mysterious person" aka Nol (who just got back from England) approach her and ask her to be his partner... maybe they'll even have a hot dance for a moment gyahhh. Quim no matter what tragic fate awaits them at least please grant us this moment 🙏

I cheer for Shinae to get back at Kou, but yeah, maybe throwing a steak at a random rich person is not the smartest idea...

Now that I put myself in Shinae's shoes.... myeaa idk about that, Nol, what you did IS creepy... Nana is right, Nol needs to seriously work on his first impression on strangers... But if he do this again on his reunion with Shinae 4 years later, maybr this will be hot?? idk idk im a mess lolol

Wait, Nol. Why did you follow her in the first place. Didn't you want to return her mask, or you simply want to meet her? You should've just said you want to 'return her mask because she dropped it after she bumped into you.' That'd be a much better (read: less creepy) first impression, wouldn't it?

Does he forget about her mask because he's just too hyped to see her? Is he just focusing on how to help her in some way until he forget about her mask? Or does he have no intention of returning it in the first place?? highly unlikely, but still.

(Maybe it's a foreshadowing that in their future reunion, Shinae will drop her metaphorical mask out of shock, he won't let her retreat to wear one, and yet, he's still keeping his on. Lol jk)

now my delusional stalkyoo mind is saying he doesn't return her mask because he wants to see her face for as long as possible, because she intrigues him he's curious to see the real her without any cover-up. i need help.

I wonder why Nol takes off his suit after Shinae run away. I don't think he's all hot & huffing after a little run, physique-wise he's fit as heck... Is this his attempt to appear less intimidating in front of her? So she won't run away again?

I think he hears the way her friends badmouth & ditch her, before he announces his presence.

Nol's motive for helping Shinae is... definitely interesting. I thought "oh yeah, this is his cover-up story to hide the fact that he wants to help her for his own absolution." But then I thought "waiit, he wanna help because he's bored? His eyes are open, he's not lying. Didn't he say in ep 2 he can't wait to meet Shinae because the party is getting boring? What he said to himself and what he said to her, they match. So he's being genuine here? He's not telling a cover-up story to hide his true objective??"

I know Nol said (in ep 179) he approached people with ulterior motives: because he wants to make amends for the past, to gain control over his life, for his absolution, etc. He makes it sound like he's approaching people purely to make him feel less guilty about himself, and to torture/punish himself at the same time by forcing himself to live/move even though he doesn't want to. But I don't think it applies to Shinae here. Regardless if she run into problems in the party or not, from the start, he already put an interest in her because she's interesting. If it's true that he approached Shinae in ep 3 because he recognized her and wanted to meet her, then maybe, his intention here is not entirely "selfless" afterall. He approaches her not because he anticipate her to be this damsel-in-distress who need saving, he approaches her because he likes her. Platonically ofc.

Wtf Quimchee, why do you give us a mental gymnastic like this. So the layer of Nol's intention is like this: Layer 1: Nol helps Shinae because she genuinely need help and because he likes her. Layer 2: Nol helps Shinae because she genuinely need help and he's using her distress for his own absolution. Layer 3: Nol helps Shinae because she genuinely need help and because he likes her. ??? It's like we're back to square one, but not really 🤣🤣🤣 (i guess in ep 179 he was too clouded with depression to see the original reason why he asked her out. Nol's pov screwed me overrr)

Or maybe I'm screwing myself. Just because what he said to himself (this party's getting boring) and what he said to her (I'm just bored) match, that doesn't mean his intention for absolution is any less real. Perhaps he was excited to meet her, but the moment he saw her troubled with the harassment and her girl friends, his gear shifted. It's no longer "she's so cool & chaotic I want to know more about her!", it shifts to "she needs help above all else. This is Yeong-Gi's time to shine." So maybe he IS telling a cover-up story to hide his true intention.

Istg Quimchee what the hell did u do to my brain.

oh OH. When he said he's bored in this ep, myb he meant he's depressed. He's numbed by the endless repetitive hell he faced. When he said he can't wait to meet Shinae at the party, it's bc she sparked his will to live. He wanted to create a little chaos against iniustice to feel alive again. The world turned against his back in the past because he was fighting alone. But this time, with someone who shares similar value with him, maybe he has a chance to win against the world this time. Because he's not alone anymore. but idk if nol realize all of this or not. or myb my line of thinking is too romanticized.

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Anyway.

Shinae's rejection line. Her statement that she will treat everyone the same regardless of occupation might've made him even more impressed. Then, her comment that human (he) suck stings. Maybe he figures out she's putting up a wall as a defensive mechanism to fend for herself, which, he also relates with her. Maybe he's smiling because he empathized with her. Like "yeah, I get that, I feel like that too."

OH. This smile. I had such a hard time deciphering this smile. Maybe this is more than just him empathizing with her sentiment.

Maybe this is the smile of "Ahh gotcha. Another person similar with me who needs help. Once I help her, we can be friends, she's happy, another progress to absolve my sins. I hit a jackpot with this one."

If this is true, then it makes sense why Nol feel so guilty in ep 179. Because he treated helping Shinae as a way to fill his "good-boy stamp card" to make up for his past(?).

Ohh wait we don't know how his life went prior to this night! If my memory is correct that Nol was avoiding Kousuke prior to this, it means they had a problem, Nol was feeling shitty, he felt like the world is going against him, and he sees helping Shinae as an opportunity to gain control over his life!

If this is NOT true, then maybe the reason why he helped Shinae is simply because he likes her, he relates with her, and he wants to hang out with her more, but he doesn't realize any of this in ep 179 (even in the newest ep). Though I find this hypothesis to be more unlikely now, I won't toss it yet. Just to give it a fighting chance, lol.

"When I said I wanted to help, I meant it, so here I am!" Eyes closed. He's not lying, but he's hiding his true intention. Whether he's hiding his true intention of wanting to feel better about himself or he's hiding the fact that he likes her is still not clear to me.

Yeah, this guy is Yeong-Gi alright. The Yeong-Gi who tries to appear as harmless as possible. The bubbly guy who wants to help anyone he empathized with.

A normal person would simply help her by calling a cab, paying for it if they feel generous, and calling it a day. I think that's what Yeong-Gi would do, because as long as he can help her get home safely, it's more than enough for him. But no, I think this guy is Nolan, whether he realizes it or not. Or maybe there's a part of Nolan that's seeping through his Yeong-Gi mask. Yeong-Gi would go extra miles to help, but I think only Nolan would suggest to help her set up a prank for revenge. It's not just for her sake, I think it's also for his sake. Potential multiple reasons: 1) he's genuinely pissed at her girl friends, because they—who're supposed to be her close friends that she defended to such extent—abandoned her (just like how Kousuke abandoned him; Nol's projecting his anger at that time to her situation now). 2) Because he wants to get on her good side. 3) Because he's depressed with Hirahara's control that he wants to have fun (read: create a little chaos) with her. 4) It's a mix of all things.

Augh, I forgot he's so good at reading people. So, another possible reason why he suggested a prank: 5) Because he can sense Shinae is a natural daredevil (like him) based on how reckless she was to defend her friends, so there's a high chance she won't reject this offer.

My God, someone said the first time Shinae meet Nolan is at Minhyuk's party, and I agree, but what if the reason why Nol & Shinae hit it off so well in the beginning, is because Nol is being Nol without realizing it, and Shinae has already met Nolan since the beginning. Am I straying off or am I on the right track??

Huh, I completely forgot about Nol's intention of hooking up Shinae with Dieter. Like I said previously, is he deadass believing (in ep 231) he's approaching her because he wants to play cupid, and not because he himself is interested in her??

Or maybe i messed up; myb nol was only reminded to be dieter's cupid after he saw him again (ep 11 or smth). let's see in the next few eps

TLDR; So now, after ep 237 & rereading ep 4, Nol's intention's layer is like this. Layer 1: Nol helps Shinae because she genuinely need help and because he likes her spiciness. Layer 2: Nol helps Shinae because she genuinely need help, and he wants to get on her good side because he wants to hook her up with Dieter. Layer 3: Nol helps Shinae because she genuinely need help and he's using her distress for his own absolution. Layer 4: Nol helps Shinae because she genuinely need help, and he's using her distress to get on her good side so he can hook her up with Dieter because making his friend happy is his mission for absolution, to gain control over his shitty life. Layer 5: Nol helps Shinae because she genuinely need help and because he likes how she sparked his will to live & he wants to create a little chaos to fight against injustice with her, esp against close friend/relative who ignore their cry for help (Layer 4 & 5 is interchangeable/can be merged)

Maybe layer 4 is what he believed, and layer 5 is what actually happened? Lmao.

Am I crazy or is Nol in ep 237 truly that dense/in denial. Not that I'm saying he already harbored a romantic feeling from the very beginning—I don't think so, but I found it hard to believe he would think he likes her because he latches on to the first person who treat him nicely, and she can be replaced by anyone as long as they're a decent human being. (wait, with his condition it's not that hard to believe, ig...). Nol, please define "a decent person" in your book.

Nol, you... you're just too focused on how you feel for her on your birthday. You need sleep. And a lot of time to reminisce and contemplate (which I hope you can do in your jail time). Not neccesarily romantic, but your attraction towards Shinae clearly has started long before your birthday, your separation, or even the Kim party's accident, and it only got worse over time.

Myb i shouldn't have trusted his words so much, he has no idea what he's saying sometimes...

Nol always chooses his friends based on how much he relates to them, not just because they're someone who needs help. Soushi was facing injustice and was unable to fight back against his bullies. Dieter was a lonely foreigner who had a hard time adjusting to a new, unfamiliar country, which worsened his loneliness. Alyssa was a lonely person who was facing trauma and heavy guilt. Nol sees himself in them and decides to help them out as Yeong-Gi because, not just to alleviate his guilt, but also (most probably, whether he realizes it or not) because he wished they could have a "hero" he didn't have in the past. But Shinae is different. From the start, she's already a "hero." She chose to step up for other people's sake. She has this blazing fire to seek justice. She's probably a figure he wished he had in his past. She left a great impression on their first meeting. And eventually he learned that she wears a facade to appear strong to fend for herself and she's also abandoned by people close to her; just like him. Just from their first meeting, he can't just replace her with any decent person. He gravitates toward her because he immediately senses a kind of comradeship. She's already special in that way.

I'm just losing my mind. It's 5 AM already. I need to sleep.

*Edit: God, in Nol's case, it's kiinda like "love at first sight" (but not really) but he's too dense and/or in huge denial to see that. Aksjhxjskdkfhkdkdk

I know I've covered this topic in my previous post, but I thought it was so jumbled I should just rearrange it to be more coherent.

⚠️ Spoilers up to the latest non-FP episode. If you haven't read that far yet, what are you doing here, lol. Go read it NOW.

I'm in the middle of rereading this series. With my understanding of the series so far, I now find Kousuke's unpromted reaction to Shinae at their first meeting even more bizzare. I mean, I get he has a rough night with Meg chasing after him, and Nol avoiding him, making it harder for him to stay composed. But for Kousuke, the top figure of Hirahara company, to *deliberately* tripped an innocent guest who mind her own business, sabotaging her to get her food just to get what he wants ("his" tiramisu), and just walking away while upromtedly calling her names (sad-low-quality-outfit, fatass, have standards gotten that low)... It's just too far. Too far from Kousuke's usual standard who'd maintain a good gentleman attitude as the heir of the company. This party is supposed to be a company party, so as the Finance Director, he ought to behave at his best, right? I don't think he'd want to behave less than ideal in front of his staffs, employees, and their families (unless he's getting sloppy because he hasn't seen Nol as a threat yet, as of late 👀). I mean, yes, bad days happen, some things are just out of your control sometimes, but that's not a good enough excuse to deliberately trip someone and call them fatass, if you ask me. He's not even trying to strike a conversation first! It's almost as if he returns to having an emotional maturity of a 12 years old.

(Cough Kousuke's Corner).

He's lucky he tripped Shinae, an ordinary person who never know him. What if he tripped an important figure or a paparazzi?? Scandals would spread, even without Shinae or Nol's influence. Rand makes a comment about Kou-Shin's first encounter (ep 218) that it's so typical of Kousuke for taking action to make sure he gets what he wants, but I would argue there's a better way to do it, without tripping someone unpromted... which makes me think, the problem is more than just Kousuke trying to get his tiramisu. There is something more to that.

I'm trying to understand of Kousuke's reason behind his action, and this is my speculations, sorted frome more-unlikely to highly-likely:

1. He's drunk.

He has a rough night, so he drank some alcohol to forget the shitty night he has. It's like a parallel to his disheveled self in episode 123.

But I find counter-arguments to this theory, which is: 1) he's not a good drinker, so he would likely to blush if he's drunk, but he's not blushing here; 2) he's trying to avoid Meg. It's unlikely he would lower his alertness when he's trying to run away from a person who chased him. Even in distress, he would not want Meg to catch him, so staying alert would be the best move.

2. Yui hasn't given him his usual benzo.

He's in withdrawal, which increase his anxiety & irritability 😭But this theory begs the question, at what point Yui usually give this "medication" to Kousuke. Is it given on a spesific routine, or only as needed (whenever he feel anxious or agitated)? Although I still haven't found another proper counter-argument for this, I'm not completely sold with this theory either, so please let me know what you think!

3. Being chased and (sexually) harassed by an older woman whom you need to maintain a civil relationship with is just enough to rattle you up; plain and simple.

4. Everything about Shinae reminds Kousuke of Nol.

I mean, think about it. Shinae's dress looks cheap. She's not wearing any make-up or accessories to make herself prettier. She eats a lot. Sure those might irritate him because she's not up to his standard guest. Above it all, he's stressed out, he needs a reliever, and he sees a girl taking away his precious sweet—something he really wants. If only she dressed better or watched her manner gracefully, he probably would've treated her better, right? Now. Perhaps Kousuke is lowkey jealous because she looks poor, yet, she doesn't need to keep up appereances to be happy.

He feels tired & miserable throughout the night and he still has to keep up apperances, so seeing someone poor but completely content without a care in the world pisses him off so much that he wants to wipe that happy face off from her face. Perhaps he sees young!Nol in this moment who's poor and yet keep being happy, and that triggers him.

(Something that strengthen this theory in episode 8: Kousuke doesn't recognize Shinae's face, but he recognizes her dress first.

That must've mean her "low quality" clothes and her mannerism are what stuck to his mind.)

If he tripped an important figure or a paparazzi, scandals would spread, but I think he has already calculated that. In his head, he's probably thinking "there's no way someone influential or a paparazzi would dress & behave this sloppily, so it means she's a nobody, and I can do whatever I want with her." Even if his action is driven by emotional impulse, tripping her is a rather deliberate move, if you ask me.

If Nol-Shinae's future dynamic is already foreshadowed since the very beginning (Shinae throwing her orange soda at Nol, effectively calming his chaotic energy, as they fight for the same thing), and if it's true that Kousuke sees Nol in Shinae from the very beginning, perhaps Kousuke-Shinae's future dynamic is already set from the start too: that Kousuke will show his true, disheveled self—free from Yui's influence—in front of Shinae, he will see her as Nol's "replacement" at some point, and she will be able to keep up and fight against him, and at the same time, correct his wrongdoings as an equal.

(I wish I had already seen this coming from years ago...)

Speaking of equality, I want to highlight Shinae-Kousuke's dynamic based on their mask in this masquarade party. By "mask," I mean, they're both not wearing any.

Usually, the point behind a Masquerade Party is that so people can hide behind the anonimity of their mask and become free to be themselves. Here, even though Shinae & Kousuke are from completely opposite background and status (Shinae being a commoner & new to the Hirahara party, Kousuke being a heir & the host of the Hirahara party) they're both not wearing any mask; and yet, they're both free to be themselves (Shinae being her teen self and Kousuke being his more unstable, "12-yo" self).

Although both of them are not fighting on the same side, there's some kind of weird solace that they are facing each other without any lie or pretense. Hopefully this is the kind of dynamic they will achieve by the end of the story; that Kousuke will be able to break free from Yui's influence, and after he repent for everything he has done, Shinae will be able to lend him a hand and help him reconcile.

.... Perhaps Shinae's future dynamic with the brothers is not just foreshadowed in the Kim's Formal Party (with Chess Theory). Perhaps it has been set up by Quimchee from the very beginning, in this very Masquerade Party. Just a food for thought.

I heard from some people, Quimchee planned the entire night sequence on December 21st to be filled with hints and set ups for events and character dynamics in the future. Though I don't know how far Quimchee is gonna put the hints since it's past Dec 21st already, but hey, Quimchee always insert some symbolisms and foreshadowings anyway so I wanna analyze this one particular scene because it has a lot of foreshadowing materials, and try to predict their dynamic in the upcoming Chess Game.

Analysis

1. Nol with the blindfold. He is hiding his eyes from crying so much. But why is he crying in the first place? One can only guess the reason, but we know the phrase: Eyes are the window of the soul. It immediately reflects our emotions, our fears, and our deepest emotive shades. Nol is hiding his true feelings (whatever it is: love, relieve, heartbreak, fear, anxiety) from Shinae. He is closing his eyes, ignoring whatever reality in front of him, and chooses to live in the moment with her --regardless of the consequences that might come after.

2. The head band covering Shinae's neck --or the delicate part of the body that must be protected, as Nessa once stated. Nol took it away from her. He also told her to take off her shoes earlier. Combine these two, and you have Nol basically rendering Shinae naked vulnerable in front of him. She believes Nol's excuse to play things fair without question; even without the blindfold, Shinae is pretty blind herself, because she couldn't see he's not fine at all.

3. Their outfits. They're both vulnerable in their own ways; Shinae without her shoes and her headband, and Nol in hospital gown with the bandages that covered his wounds. But, while Shinae's neck is out in the open (completely open with her feelings), Nol's neck is wrapped in bandages (hiding his feelings completely). They're not seeing eye to eye; it's not fair.

4. The dance movement. Nol is twirling Shinae around. Even in blindness, he had Shinae dancing at the palm of his hand. By lying and hiding behind a mask, he had her under his control. (Not that he has any malice --he just wants to make happy memories with Shinae before he's gone, but from here, we get a glimpse that Nol is capable of manipulating his partner to move like he wants to.)

5. The color. Rand said he has faith in his team. His words are in red in black, signifying power. He has conviction they won't lose to Yui. And sure enough, the duo is dancing without a care, they're building their team play. But notice the background color when they danced; they're not in the light (hope), but it's not completely dark either. It's basically grey. Despite Rand's hope, the situation seems bleak.

Nol who is blind, is guiding Shinae who is blind. You know what could happen?

This is the worst scenario though, I hope it won't happen.

The blind is leading the blind. One of them has to open their blindfold if they don't want to fall together. Fortunately, Shinae is quick to open her eyes from Nol's tricks. She saw Nol's tear stains and she immediately took the rein; she stopped their dance. Once it stops, we can see the light returns (even if it's not as bright as before).

Discussion

Nol and Shinae's dance has been teased for a long time, and we finally get to see it now. It's been teased from episode 5, when Nol proposed Shinae to be his partner. There has been many hurdles, but now that Shinae has fully accepted Nol's hand, they finally embark on a new journey as partners. Their dance represents their new partnership and how they work together as a team. And of course, being their first time, it's not all smooth sailing.

Nol and Shinae is a unique pair. They're almost like a mirror. Whatever Nol do that night, Shinae is able to keep up with him.

Nol and Shinae have the potential to be impeccable liars. They both can make nasty jokes that can cut their opponents deep. Like Nol's prank that reminded Shinae of her father in-coma, and Shinae's prank that reminded Nol of his abused days in the Hirahara Hospital.

They are capable of stealing. Nol stole the yearbook to investigate Alyssa to give Shinae the justice she deserves. Shinae stole some balloons from the poor, tired man to give Nol a happy birthday he deserves.

They both can equally be manipulative if they want to. Shinae doesn't want Nol to bolt from her since he seemed ready to do it anytime, so she lured him out using sweet words, shared her painful past to try to relate to him, and asked him to dance in Min-Hyuk's room so she could be with him longer. Nol doesn't want Shinae to bolt from him again since she seemed ready to do it anytime, so he listened to her music together, played around with her finger dance, asked her to dance --even taking away her shoes, and smile as Yeong-Gi so she won't run away from him anymore.

Whatever wholesome or nasty things, they could do it together. They'd be such a great partners-in-crime. But sometimes, because they're so matching, they often find themselves in unfavourable condition when they're not in synch. For example, like the first time they meet. Both of them were riled up by the mean guy's mockery; they stood up to teach him a lesson at the same time. But, because they had different idea on how to do it and they're not aware of each other's presence, Shinae ended up hindering Nol by spilling the juice on him --or Nol hindered Shinae by getting in the way, whatever floats your boat. Yes, it is an accident, but I believe Quimchee has been setting up their dynamic from the very start.

You get the gist. For the upcoming chess game, they need to fix their teamwork. And to get a nice teamwork, they need to be in synch. They already prove themselves they're capable of doing that, like their first prank and their tag team against Sang-Chul. But if they want to win against Yui, they have to do better. It's clear they're not there yet, because Nol is hiding too much from her. In fact, Nol is too smart for his own good and he hates putting his loved ones in dangerous or uncomfortable situation, it's possible he would "manipulate" Shinae in their partnership; he'd let her help him enough, but not enough to drag her into the mud with him.

I found this comment and I agree with this, though realistically, I'm not too hopeful Shinae could turn things around so quickly when this is just the very beginning of Nol-Shinae's partnership.

It's been hinted no matter how much Shinae is seem to be able to catch up to Nol, Nol is always one step ahead from her.

On their first "dance" in the Arcade Arc, what Shinae lacked is stamina. Right now what she lack is knowledge. Knowledge about Nol's past and the sticky situation surrounding Hirahara. Unfortunately, Nol is not ready to share it yet. Not at all.

Nol has always been in constant survival mode. Years of being preyed by Yui has build him to never show his weakness to anyone. Not to his friends, not even Nana --to some extent. Today, he just made a huge leap by crying on his loved one's shoulder instead of crying alone, but he's not ready to reveal it to Shinae. He has yet to process his feelings. It takes time. Things are gonna get complicated, especially when it's been foreshadowed that Nol is going to leave for a long time. If he does leave, it'll be a challenge to stay in contact and get close to him. And in the future, there will be much more things that Nol is keeping secret from Shinae. We already have Nol's investigation on Alyssa, for starters. Shinae has stated she doesn't like surprises and she doesn't like it when someone is going overboard for her sake. If she find out Nol has been manipulating her, doing all sort of things behind her back, and shouldering everything alone.... Welp. And she is capable of hurting Nol too, so... Yikes. I pray things won't get that far, I hope they won't hurt each other too much in the process.

I do hope we'll get a parallel of episode 65 on the next episode --Nol admitted to Shinae he's not fine at all, but since Nol is hard-headed, I don't dare to hope too much.

On (un)related topic, Rand, the Black King, has ordered Shinae, his Black Pawn, to inflitrate the opponent's den. Well, even though I said ordered, it's more of an advice on how to play the game. Shinae has the right to decide whether she chose to involve herself in this game or not. To make the decision, she needs to know what is exactly she's up against, and for who she's fighting for. And for that, she has to be aware of Nol's circumstances. Once she heard everything about Nol, there's no going back.

If Nol won't talk to her, I hope she can talk to Nana; I hope the two of them will meet. Yujing is currently brewing her article. If Shinae could learn about Nol's past from Yujing, it'll sting since she didn't learn it from Nol himself, but at least it'll start some conversation with him. Hell, she could even try to ask Rand if she's desperate enough. Nol is the same. If he wants to stand on equal footing with Shinae in the chess game, he needs to face himself, take a leap of faith and try to open up to her, little by little. He needs to believe Shinae is not as fragile as she seemed; she can take his burden and she won't leave him either.

If, in the future, Nol ever find himself immersed in his Antihero role for too long, or he's into his revenge plot too deep, Shinae needs to stop him from hurting himself. Maybe she even have to resort to some brute force if he keeps being stubborn.

Shinae and Nol have different stats in nature, so she has to get creative and proactive with her ways to make up for her weakness, if she wants to stand by Nol's side equally.

Just like Nol who has the capability to manipulate anyone -- including his partner -- if he wanted to, Shinae is just as capable to take the rein of their relationship, like the way she accepting and stopping their dance when she found something wrong. It's up to her if she want to continue the dance --letting her partner be blind, or stopping the dance completely if it means she could get him to open his eyes (come in terms with his feelings).

...

So Shinae has decided to stop their dance and "ditch" him. She was too upset to even say goodbye. Funny how his hand is reaching out to her, even though he knew his decision would push her away.

I guess there's a bit of a hope in him, that Shinae would be able to keep up with his ass like the way she's been doing, but man, he's pushing it this time. Shinae has her limit.

As the result, Nol is "forced" to take off his blindfold.

People in Reddit are wonderful. They come up with many beautiful, interesting ideas. Like the image when Nol opened the blindfold, his head is above the water level, meaning he's (at least) not drowning and no longer gasping for air. Or when Nol said sorry, there's a light at the end of the dark tunnel and beyond that light, Shinae is there for him. Or how Nol found himself on a crossroad and he has to choose: either he has to remove the mask, or be left standing with a reminder of her in his hands. Go to the discussions there to find more of these!

I personally love the moment when he open his eyes, he's surrounded with bright warm light.

He really need this moment, to come in terms with his feelings in a place where he feels safe.

I re-read my analysis from last week, and maybe I'm being too harsh with him. I kinda forced him to open up even though I know he's not there yet. This comment definitely help me to realize that.

It's normal for people to feel embarassed to expose their vulnerable side to other people. Shinae was like that too.

I understand why she feels so upset; she was so heartbroken by Nol's drastic change, she just want to help him out quickly so things could go back to the way it's like before. She was impatient; understandable, given how quick her world turned upside-down the moment Nol is gone. This "mask" thing has been going on for too long, but taking it off is the hardest thing to do when you've been wearing one in all your life.

So Shinae.

Next time, why don't you try to be the "blind" one? Let him be the one who open his eyes; let him be himself in front of you, but don't let him know you see him. Just turn a blind eye, like the way he's helping you to open up.

There must be tons of things inside Nol's mind the moment his birthday party is over. He must be mulling over what he contemplate during the week after he and his friends parted ways, what lead him up to this point.

Nol has been self-depecrating for years; he was depressed and guilty for what happened in the past. He felt like he doesn't deserve to live and be happy, even if he wanted to. He thought making friends be happy could be his way to atone his sins. But no, he feels like he made everything worse, because he lead them into danger (read: Yui) instead. He endangered them. And he already likes them so much at this point so when they parted, it just leads to another heartbreak.

Shinae calling him a fake person was just adding salt to his wound.

After spending a week mulling over her words, he came to a conclusion that no amount of good deeds he has done will ever be enough to save himself, and he needs to get over his friends because he's undeserving of their love after deceiving and hurting them; Shinae might be the catalyst of Nol's drastic change.

Making friends was a mistake; that's what he believed. That's probably what promted him to go to Alyssa's christmas party because he wanted to forget all the "mistakes" he made. He belonged with his "family," sarcastically speaking. He just wanted to stop giving a fuck to anything. Until he met Shinae again.

She lifted him up, she's using such sweet words to lure him out, she even shared her painful past to try to relate to him. Even after he wrecked her best friend's party and told her to stay away, somehow she still finds her way to save him. She even organized this little party for him. Not to mention, the awkward morphine misunderstanding; yet, she didn't leave. Just how could she stayed by his side after he hurted her from his lies and deceit? He knows how much trust issue Shinae has, so how come she still trust him? Nol really wanted to know.

Then, he saw her gift.

The oranges and the doodle: a reminder of how they meet and the first 24 hours they spent together.

The birthday note: An opposite of what she used to say (Humans suck), and the answer of his question, "why she decided to accept him the first night they met."

Seeing her gift made him realize, maybe, she is the gift all along.

Seeing the oranges and the doodles, he's reminded how lucky he is to have meet Shinae.

Seeing the birthday note, he realized how fortunate he is for asking her to be his partner.

If it wasn't for her, he probably wouldn't even make it to end of the year, and that's not an exaggeration.

She is the mirror that reminded him that he -- the Nolan inside Yeong-Gi mask -- is not okay at all.

She inspired him to try once again with his "family."

When the world told him he's unwanted, she was there to accept him.

They laughed and bickered like old friends.

She gave him a reason to return to this world.

Even after he hurted her, she still hold onto him to share their pain together.

She becomes the bridge to the people who genuinely love him.

She gives him more happiness than he could hold. She gave him reasons to keep living.

And she would not be here if it's not for his efforts to be her friend.

Making friends was not a mistake, it turns out. All the good deeds he has done, it wasn't for naught. All the pain he endured -- especially in the last 3 months -- as Yeong-Gi has finally payed off with a true, loyal friend staying by his side in this moment. She started to make him believe he (might be) wasn't that much of a bad guy, because it seemed like God has accepted some of his repentance. Making friends was not a mistake, or was it?

It's true his perseverance has payed off, but we can't deny all the adventures he went through in the last 3 months is because of Shinae. She has been a force that pushed him to be more involved with the Hiraharas, whether he likes it or not. It leads him to trauma, tears, heartbreaks, even literal injuries... Does it mean Shinae is a curse instead of a blessing?

No, of course not.

1. What excites me the most on this episode is, we got a glimpse of how Yui abused Nol in the past! (Not that I enjoy seeing Nol being abused, far from it, but I'm glad we finally see the plot moving) This is the discussion back in ep 150:

And with today's episode, we now see how Yui utilizes her power as the owner of the hospital: interfering with the doctors and nurses' decision, having their license revoked if they try to defy her, rewarding them with money -or anything- if they do as she say... Of course Yui's hand would stay clean if everyone is too scared of her! It really give us a glimpse of how she abused Nol in the past. Ugh. Now I wonder, did he also had the nurse he's close with removed from his sight because of Yui? Did she also gaslighted him into thinking it's his fault? 😒

Hearing Yui's argument is laughable actually. When a patient is unconscious, a doctor has the right to do some tests based on medical judgement in order to reach the correct diagnosis for the right treatment, because a sleeping patient can't tell the doctor what's wrong with them afterall. She has no right to veto as a mother too(?), since Kousuke is already an adult. Now, whether the CEO of the hospital has the right to revoke a medical lisence based on personal opinion -- or not, I can't tell because I don't know the laws. But well, money and power goes a long way, sadly.

2. At least Nol wakes up with the person he care by his side. Kousuke wakes up with no one in sight, and the sound of arguments outside. Quimchee just loves hammering down Kousuke's sign of neglection, huh. As much of an asshole Kousuke is, he's still the victim of abuse just like Nol :(

3.

AW NAH BITCH, STAY AWAY FROM JAYCE. STAY AWAY FROM NOL. JUST GO AWAY, NO ONE WANTED YOU HERE.

4. Now, about the reason why Yui is so adamant not letting Kousuke be tested by a literal professional. Many people has guessed it's because Yui doesn't want anyone to find out Kousuke is not Rand's biological son, but I don't think we're there yet. Hansuke mentioned basic tests; as far as I know, the basic, standard tests don't include blood-type test or DNA test. It usually only covered the potentials of:

Irregularity in blood (haemoglobin, platetet, RBC counts)

Infection (WBC, Lymphocyte counts)

Liver disfunction (AST, ALT)

Kidney disfunction (Creatinin, Urea, Bilirubin)

Diabetes (blood sugar)

Cholesterol-based illness (LDL, HDL, triglycerides)

Irregularity in electrolytes (Na, K, Cl, Ca)

And that's the gist of it. There's not much to get, unless Yui doesn't want anyone to find out Kousuke is actually diabetic? Maybe she inserted diabetes medicines inside his food? Kousuke did say they have personal chefs, maybe they also received Yui's order. I kinda doubt it though, this seem like a stretch.

It's a different story if Hansuke wanted to check the possible substance inside Kousuke's body, though. Hansuke suspected Kousuke is under the influence; it's the easiest answer that could explain Kousuke's abnormal behavior.

This is just some wild theory but I suspect Yui inserted some antipsychotic drugs in his drink or food (remember the family chefs?) to keep Kousuke in check. If Hansuke finds out about it, it will reveal that Yui has been hiding the fact that Kousuke has some mental disorder, and that could jeopardize his position as the new CFO; that's why Yui doesn't want a blood work. Just a guess 💀

Btw, this is Shinae on episode 14 LMAO

Oh Shinae. Now this doesn't seem like a joke anymore ☠️

Oh. WAIT.

💀💀💀

5. [Yui: what has you scrambling around in distress?] [Kou: I can't recall... ] [Yui: Aww that's too bad...]

Look at that sinister smile. She is DELIGHTED Kousuke forgets. Since Yui knew he hit his head on the wall, I think it's safe to assume(?) she knows Kousuke was looking at patient record earlier. She knows which name that triggers him. Does it mean she doesn't want Kou to find out about Nessa (further, what she did to her)? Has Yui always used Kou's "ignorance" (memory issue) about Nessa's fate to let him mock Nol about her disappereance?

Nol you couldn't be more right. I look forward to see Kou finding out he has been mocking Nol's mom's absence when it's his own "dear mother" who "killed" her. The devastation...

6. I still don't get why would Yui throw away Rand's gift. If anything, I think it'd benefit her more if she give it to Kousuke. Something like: praising him, how he's done such a good job being a CFO that his father would give him an early expensive present, gaslight him into thinking it's not enough, but just a little more until he'd truly acknowledge him, etc. I thought he'd be easier to manipulate if he get enough reward (which he clearly didn't get)? It feels like Yui's manipulation is getting old. Idk, I thought a goal would be much sweeter if he get to taste it, so he'd work even harder. But so far, he didn't taste any of it.

But then it hit me. If Kousuke sees the real present, he'd know his father does care about him. He won't need Yui anymore, he'd start to rely on Rand, as in, the person. And Yui doesn't want that. She wants Kousuke to be fully in her control, she wants him to keep relying on Rand's image by her words; that Rand is a cold man who doesn't care about his family unless Kousuke surpassed him. She just... never let Kousuke to be free. (Which is why I realized Nol has the potential to be a much scarier manipulator than Yui, but that's another topic for another day).

7. Yui touching Kousuke's injured hand without apologizing is such a psychopath thing to do: lacking of guilt or empathy.

8. BAHAHA since we're almost at the end of the year, it's nice to see the reference of earlier episode!

Though, could this be a foreshadowing? If Shinae really becomes Kousuke's assistant in the future, would she be included in the future hospital inspection? Would she play a role in uncovering Nol and Kousuke's mistreatment in the hospital? Lol.

9. MEG!! AOEBJDDJ I hope she would return the gift to Kousuke, just like Shinae who return the bible to Nol! Kousuke needs to know Rand is more caring than he seemed and Yui is much more wicked than he thought! This is probably Meg's role as the member of the Black Team: to open Kousuke's eyes that he still has people who care for him as who he is.

Why am I bringing up this topic? Because it's heartbreaking to see him not impressed with what his friends came up about good things about him.

Not really a happy face there. It's because he thought the things he has done as Yeong-Gi at the beginning were a ruse. Those were not good things about "him," according to himself.

Despite that, how did he he managed to gain friends he can't help always coming back to? How did he managed to gain true friends who stay loyal to him, despite all the "lies" he laid out?

I might have a biased view,but the way I see it, it's because Yeong-Gi is not a phony. 15-year-old Nolan was just trying to be the best version of himself he wanted to become, in honor of his mum's wish. It's not a bad thing at all.

The good things his friends mentioned were all the things he did at the beginning, when he fully embraced his "Yeong-Gi mask." Nolan might've seen his "help" from that time as a ruse, but the result is impactful and very meaningful for the person who received it. Thanks to Yeong-Gi, Dieter has become less lonely and starts to feel like he belongs here, and Shinae starts to trust people again, becoming a better person in the process. Yeong-Gi healed them.

And God certainly knows he's been doing his best for... 4 years. From he's 15 until 19, which is today. Oh God not number 4 again being Nol's number, the symbol of death and rebirth.

It's okay Nolan, you've tried your best. It's okay to be tired. It's okay to be yourself and take a break. It's okay to let loose for once. As your mum said, the world can't punish you forever. As Shinae said, things will get better for you.

Which is why, tonight, God's gift for his good deeds is this one little "friend" who will go to the end of Earth to defend, protect, and heal you this time. And I'm sure Dieter and Soushi will follow her soon.