James choked while Remus flipped him off.

Y/N found herself struggling to even out her breathing. Her voice was strained with amusement. “You can’t pick a fight, can’t you? Your middle name is Fleamont —”

“What’s wrong with that?! That’s my father’s name!” In the background, Remus snorts.

“— And you have Veela blood and you can’t woo Lily?”

James’ face burns with embarrassment while his friend can barely form a coherent sentence. His head is thrown back as his body racks with silent waves of laughter. Then, Remus slapped a hand to his forehead, groaning loudly before slumping down at a table beside Y/N. “Why did you say the L-word in front of him?”

He reached out for his usual cup of coffee, splashing a dash of milk. She watched as he stirred it, the liquid turning from black to a tawny brown. With a couple of teaspoons of sugar, he brought it to his lips and sighed in pure bliss.

“Actually, I’m thinking of asking out that Ravenclaw over there,” James points, taking the bench opposite. Just then, their eyes followed his. He made eye contact with a Ravenclaw who had jet black hair. Her curls were large, delicate and she had silky skin that reminded Y/N of a rich brown topaz. Pretty royal blue flower pins were placed in her hair, keeping strands of it from falling into her face and highlighted her deep blue eyes that seemed almost mystical. A bright, flashy, sweet smile crossed her face as she looked down bashfully and then turned to her gaggle of friends. Leave it to Potter to flatter the ladies. “Her name is Emmeline Vance.”

Remus and Y/N looked at each other, their eyebrows raised. They both briefly recognized her from their study group and she was in her Charms class. Very shy and very smart, that’s what their first impression was of her. James’ eyes darted between them, noticing their shared non-verbal response before an odd look flashes on his face. “What? Look, I’ve asked Lily out two times — she declined each time. I don’t want to harass her if she keeps saying no. Besides, it doesn’t hurt to have some new blood.”

“Well,” Remus clears his throat, “That’s surprisingly mature of you. It was about time.”

James tended to breakdance on thin ice, and that thin ice was Lily. He’d make a fool out of himself or pull antics but now that she thought about it, James never actually asked Lily out during her time at Hogwarts thus far. God was he annoying when it came to her and Y/N felt a sense of relief for everyone; James, Lily, the rest of the marauders — anyone who had to deal with James at any given moment, but most of all, Lily.

She wanted to half-hug him on her behalf.

Just then, a woosh came from the upper windows as hundreds of owls soared in. They fluttered from all over the hall, some even made fancy loops and dives to impress the other owls and students before dropping sodden letters and parcels off to their owners. They shook off the snow from their wings, rapidly melting and sprayed droplets everywhere while the owls began to hoot with each other. Celeste was nowhere to be seen, but that was expected. Either she was making a long road from Ilvermoerny with a letter from Matthew, her mother had yet to respond to her letters, or that she slept soundly in the owlery. She couldn’t blame her, it was a mess outside. However, a familiar owl who delivered the Daily Prophet swooped in, dropping a copy onto James’ plate.

He unfurled the newspaper, eating a green apple (which had a few Slytherins sending him dirty looks) as his eyes scanned over the title before eyeing her and then swiftly back to the paper. His brows were pulled tightly together, lips pursed with worry and suddenly, James’ mouth went dry as the air around him grew thick.

Y/N plucked a few pancakes from a nearby dish onto her own. They were warm and smelt delightful. Slathering on a generous amount of syrup, she cut them into small pieces with a fork, eating them before Remus passed her a bowl of strawberries to her, offering before taking some himself.

They chatted back and forth but there was something about Remus today that seemed off, but she couldn’t quite place it. His eyes shimmered a pretty golden colour, very different from his usual overpowering green hues.

Similar to Toulouse.

By the entrance walking in was Peter, Marlene, Lily and Sirius. Sirius scrunched his nose several times, running a hand through his blond hair at whatever Peter said. A few times, Y/N almost mistaken him for another person. Just then, they made the slightest eye contact which had them both stare, unwanting to break it first. This game had been going on for a couple of days now and a silent way of communicating their shared dislike while effectively avoiding a huge blowout fight. Last time, Sirius won and she was determined to win their stupid, silent game.

Sirius dropped his hand to his side, the light bounced off his silver rings as Marlene pushed him, laughing, which startled Sirius, causing him to look away. She smirked: point earned.

Y/N: 1

Sirius: 1

Peter’s eyes crinkled; he held a stack of parchment while Lily looked over to Snape sitting at the Slytherin table, waving.

It was so painfully obvious that Snape liked Lily in a manner far too friendly for her to just be considered a friend which had Y/N pressing her lips together tightly. His body perked up and he tried to straighten out his hunched-over posture; skin pinking as bright as bubblegum pink while his eyes travelled down to glance at her mouth quickly.

She shivered, ew.

“Morning you beautiful tossers,” Marlene chirped, bringing her hands down harshly on the table. Her nails were painted a cobalt blue that she recognized Dorcas wearing this morning while she held her bin. The impact had fruit bowls, mugs and goblets shook before Remus huffed, picking up his mug to prevent the liquid from spilling out. He looked over to Marlene with a deadpan expression.

“Hiya.”

Marlene swung her bag over her head and onto the table, sitting down on Remus’ side. Sirius went to sit by James, creating a barrier between him and Lily while she reached up and began braiding his hair, pulling it into a low messy bun before grabbing a green hair tie from his wrist. “Thanks, Carrots.”

Lily smacked the side of his head which had Y/N thinking she should have hit him harder.

This caused a ripple effect; Remus perked up and he tapped her on the shoulder cautiously, “I think I found a spell that can reverse the potion on your hair. Do you want me to try?”

Honestly, her ever-changing colourful hair had grown on her over the past couple of months, but the idea of being able to control it again seemed nice. She imagined having to attend something as extreme as a funeral — having to dress in all black but her hair flashing outrageous neon colours like a disco ball.

With a nod he brought his wand out, pointing it to the top of her head. He focused and his eyes fluttered shut for a split moment, channelling all of his magic into one place. But instead of her normal hair colour, it grew in length, volume and size. Currently a light peach colour, it grew and grew, now swallowing her body whole and now covered the table and floor. It soon made its way to drown out Remus. Other students looked over to the scene, amazed and curious while James went pink as Emmelin glanced his way.

Looks like she's stuck with this forever. “Christ — you mind?!”

“My bad, my bad!” Thankfully, unlike James, Remus had a reversal spell at the ready. Everyone laughed once it went back to normal before Sirius snickered, muttering something under his breath. Lily whispered something into his ear using a low warning tone, tugging at his sleeve. However, Sirius wiggled out of her grasp. But rather than his usual cold tone, his voice was lighter and more in a mocking tone rather than its mean typical scoff.

There was a noticeable shift in their interaction that did not go unnoticed. They weren’t as vile to each other and Sirius seemed overall calmer — nicer, even. His voice wasn’t as sharp and she assumed that whatever anger he stored must have subsided greatly over the break.

As they looked at each other, there was this burn within both of their eyes, but instead of it being a threat, it was borderline taunting. His grey eyes weren’t as stormy as before and even a little blue decided to take over more often. The scar on his forehead healed completely along with whatever mark was on his hand. Although, the dark circles under his eyes stayed.

There was almost a sliver of a smirk that made his entire aura seem softer, lighter even.

If he wasn’t such a moody brat, he might be attractive.

“If you’re going to be a dick, at the very least have the courage to say it louder. For one, I love what you did with your hair. How did you get it to stick out of your nose like that?”

“For the love of Merlin. Here we go again…”

“Oh why don’t you —” “The Daily Quarrel,” said Peter listlessly. Y/N and Sirius’ bickering was too loud to hear it and they didn’t top for a while. Soon enough, it became background noise, like someone had left on the T.V for comfort while they worked. James and Lily looked at each other, he shook his head while Lily mirrored similarly. Marlene had her eyebrows raised while Remus looked at the scene amusingly, eating a piece of buttered toast.

“You bloody fucking lunatic —”

“Oh, okay, sure — I’m the crazy one,” she paused before quickly adding on, “At least I don't smell like a wet dog!”

“At least I don’t smell like a wet dog!” Sirius mocks in an awfully high overpitched American accent. “Like you smell any better you poisonous little toadstool!”

Remus sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He looked like he wanted to say something and there was slight annoyance burning in his piercing eyes. “Are you guys done yet —”

“— deep as a puddle.”

“Wow, like that was original.”

“Looky here! It’s the new Einstein.”

“For Godric Gryffindor, himself, will you two please cut it?!” A random Gryffindor interjects as they slammed their hand down on the table. “Me, unlike the pair of you, am tired and I need to focus on studying for the OWLs — not hearing you lot scream at each other! Job prospects, people, job prospects!” “Shut it!” The entire group snapped at them.

“Well you, unlike us, are a bellend — little git. Mind your business.” Sirius hissed. “We’ll have a go at each other if we want to. Maybe you can put your nose somewhere else!

“We have plenty of job prospects, especially these lot —” he points to her, Lily and Remus, “— are in the Slug Club. At the very least if that doesn’t prove to you that even the Professors believe we have plenty of talent and a prosperous future then I don’t know what will. I don’t see how this involves you.”

The outburst had been louder than the volume he used with Y/N, so it made her flinch. A few others seemed a little startled, Peter even slipped sideways off the bench.

The Gryffindor got up and swung his school bag over his shoulder and trudged to another table cursing them under their breaths. The unexpected anger that flared in Sirius so unexpectedly no doubt even defending her slightly, shocked her. How had he gone from making fun of her being in the Slugclub to now praising her for it?

“Wipe that look off your face,” he added.

She rolled her eyes and was about to speak before James slapped the back of Sirius’ head and Marlene threw an apple at Y/N.

“Yes, they were a git, but take their advice and shut the fuck up!”

They huffed out and their fidgeting settled. “Okay,” she grumbled out but stopped the urge to apologize. Out of all people, Sirius Black did not deserve an apology from her. Where was hers? She didn’t get one so why did he? Hadn’t people realized that all she did was keep her mouth shut to not cause problems most of the time? At the very least, she’d caught on that something was going on with Sirius and been doing everything not to curse him out because of it. She’d been going through an extremely hard time too! Granted, she never made it vocal and came late into the group, but still! Moving to a whole new country, to a new school, leaving all her friends behind, the house that she loved, her absent mother who seemed to forget she existed and now facing blood-prejudice — she deserved some sort of applause for not freaking out on people despite Sirius doing so! Where was her shitty apology?

Poor Sirius, aw baby Sirius — Sirius is a good guy! Sirius this, Sirius that — don’t be mean to him, he’s having a hard time and we don’t know why he’s being an asshole! Bullshit.

Peter wiggled around lazily while James set down the newspaper and folded it before shoving it into his bag. “Pass me it?” he asked, reaching over to grab it from James’ bag.

“Wait, Pete —”

His hand came and snatched the paper from his grasp. In bold, black fonts, it said: Death Eater Kills 5 Muggleborns.

“Merlin,” he said out loud, dropping the newsletter down only to have Lily swiftly take it from him. Her eyes widened in horror and she clutched the paper, trembling in a mixture of emotions. Y/N saw a glimpse of the moving pictures and suddenly, she felt her heart hammer against her chest but she couldn’t peel her eyes away; the destruction, the scene of their bodies being sent off in bags…

Peter began, chewing at his lip, “This is crazy. Maybe they ought to be more careful.”

“They? You mean the likes of me?” Lily said sharply. Her body tensed and her hands gripped the wooden table tightly — so tight that her knuckles went white and the girls thought she was about to hex Peter. “Blood-status should mean nothing. At the very least I thought you were smart enough to understand that. Prosecute the Purebloods for letting this happen!”

“Woah, Evans! Of course, I know that” he said, shrinking down submissively. “They ought to —” there was a brief pause “— hammer down on the purist but I meant that as a concern! Just look at them!” Peter ushered his head towards the Slytherins. Y/N turned against the table; several Slytherins were watching them.

As a Muggleborn, she and Lily were among some of the students that had been targetted as the result of the rampant blood-purist attacks since the beginning of their school career. Although, while Ilvermorny and her time in North America were not perfect in any way shape or form — hell, there were laws that prevented you from marrying New-Majs — she had never had to face blood prejudice like this. It was never so direct, so open so… approved, almost.

It was clear, though, the drastic switch and ever since she began spending time with more Puebloods like James, Marlene and Peter and just by association being seen around Sirius, put her into an odd place. Being around that many of them did not help her situation. The purist would grit their teeth, baffled how pure magic like them, stemming from some of the oldest Pureblood wizarding families, could want with them; others snarled but were so quiet that Y/N couldn’t hear. But seeing their entire group together now, aside from the absences of Dorcas and Mary, mixed with various blood-statuses seemed to anger them, deeply.

Her eyes bounced off of them, some were staring at Lily, some at James, some mouthed blood-traitor before gossiping with their friends and a few even looked in her direction before averting their eyes.

Mulciber was there, his eyes hopping from person to person in search of someone in particular. Avery was off talking to another boy that she vaguely knew the name of, Notts. However, she noticed Regulus’ absence. Really, she hadn’t seen him anywhere near the Great Hall since December nor did he ever come back to the library. But, Snape was, but he wasn’t staring at any of the Muggleborns, but directly at Remus. Y/N turned to look back at him, but Remus didn’t seem to notice.  

It unnerved her. Creepy as fuck indeed.

“Fuckin’ creeps,” Remus said out loud. James clenched his jaw, hard, as his eyes swept over Y/N and then to Lily.

“Merlin, do I hate Purebloods,” Sirius adds in. Out of all the Purebloods sitting at their table, he seemed the most angered and disgusted.

“Cheers to that,” James adds.

Then, Mary entered the hall, taking a seat next to Marlene. Her gaze hopped around from person to person: they all looked either angry or disappointed. She decided to keep quiet and looked over to the Daily Prophet still in Lily’s grip.

“At least nobody in my family is dating their cousin.” Lily spits out. That caused the thick tension to break within the group.

Peter cuts in, trying to steer the conversation out of dangerous waters. “D’you know what you want to do after Hogwarts? I heard we get to pick out what NEWTs we want to do next year. I think I would be… I’m not sure.”

“Quidditch player,” James blurts out, “Or maybe an Auror.”

“Travel the world,” Marlene says with a grin.

“Same!” Sirius says. “I’d like to get a motorcycle, drive around the world in it.”

“I might work in the Muggle world — move back to Canada or the States. At this rate, I’m not sure I’ll get a magical job here. Not if the war doesn’t die down soon.” Y/N says a bit grimily. Her mind raced, not fully taking in the severity of what happened. Perhaps she should write to her mother about it…

James looks down defeated before addressing the group loud and strong. “Don’t think like that — we’re going to win the war.” “No, she’s right.” Mary corrects, “That’s all we’ll ever be to them. Nothing more than a pathetic Muggleborn. We ought to think carefully about our future.” That quickly shut the entire table up.

There was a strange look on Lily’s face as she looked at James before blinking, and then it was gone.

“What would you be?” Mary tries to continue.

“I’m not sure. I’ve thought about being a Healer though. If I chose a Muggle job, then I would most likely go to med school. My path has basically been carved out for me.”

“If we’re talking about Muggle jobs, I think I would like to be a model or an actress. Something that’ll bring me fame.”

“That’s because you're self-centred,” Lily jokes.

“Well I looked this good, why wouldn’t I show it off?”

Over time, something about Y/N was that both a blessing and a curse was that she was able to pick up on the little things most of the time. She was observant and she liked that, but most of the time it left her spiralling with unanswered questions or overhearing something she really did not need to hear.

She noticed how James truly wasn't lying about branching out as his eyes drifted from Lily and back to the Emmeline, wearing a smoulder.  

She noticed how Peter seemed to hate anything that had to do with citrus and how’d he curl in on himself whenever someone jokingly waved a slice of lemon in his face. Especially now as Sirius waved an orange at him.

She noticed how Dorcas and Marlene often wore the same nail polish and noticed the little moments Lily and Sirius shared.

But most of all, she noticed that throughout the whole ordeal of the group imagining their future, not once did Remus speak up. In fact, he looked down at his coffee, now gone cold and noticed the tight grip he had on the handle. It looked like it was about to shatter if he squeezed down any harder. Remus looked small despite his tall and lanky frame, looking beyond troubled as his jaw clenched every other moment.

“You okay?” She asked earnestly.

He looked at her, a bit surprised before nodding his head and looked to the blizzard outside. “Tired, but what’s new?”

She could tell he was lying but didn’t push. Remus typically didn’t speak unless spoken to and seeing him like that made Y/N feel a tinge of sadness. She’s always liked Remus — would even go as far as to say he’s a friend after the whole snowball fiasco with Snape. She contemplated a few ideas of how to distract him for a little while; it was the least she could do.

“What book do you suggest I read?”

This caught his attention. “What?”

“I see you reading all the time and it’d be nice to start reading something other than OWL textbooks.”

Remus nodded, his mood brightened significantly and quickly picked up his bag from the ground and pulled out two books: The Lord of the Rings and a beat-up copy of Frankenstein.

“You like Lord of the Rings?” She asked. He did not seem like the type to enjoy it. She picked up the book and turned it over, her fingers gliding on the sides of the binding.

Remus excitedly shook his head up and down. “Y’know, I bet Gandalf and Dumbledore are related.”

“Oh my god! You’re right!”

“Both are old —” Y/N laughed at that. “— Both have splendid beards and great hats.”

“What if they’re brothers.”

“Or Dumbledore is secretly obsessed with himself and co-wrote it.”

“Anoraks,” Marlene adds.

Remus swiftly moved on to his next mini-rant, “So what do you think about it? Quite polarizing. Tolkien is good at creating such a consistent background — by far one of the better high fantasy novels I’ve read.”

She hums in half agreement, “I agree but at times it can be quite bland but I’ve never read something quite as similar. But I think I like Narina better.”

“Narina? I respect that but creating a world like middle-earth —” he continued to ramble about his book, critiquing it before swiftly moving on to talk about Narina and a few other classics he loved. Y/N was just glad he didn’t look so troubled now and a small smile was brought to her lips.

Meanwhile, Sirius watched the two and felt that same irrational jealousy take over him in a nasty way that made him want to scream. To him, Sirius saw L/N as someone that constantly took away his time with his mates. First, it was James; they always spent time with each other, sat beside each other in class, made jokes, James even asking to invite her to join in some of their pranks; treating her like he does with him! Then, it was Marlene and Lily and he'd caught onto her brief interactions with Regulus. Regulus! Out of all people! That was more than enough to question her morals. But now, she had her eyes set on Remus! Couldn’t she just find her own friends and stop meddling her way into his life?

Not to mention that she was rude, annoying and seemed like she thought she was better than everyone else.

But deep down, rationally, Sirius knew his jealousy was childish, but she felt like the shiny new toy that left Sirius feeling replaced. He would never admit it out loud, but he felt slightly threatened, just a bit as he watched her grow close with his dear friends, just like he did once before.

But then, he snapped back to his rational senses and almost felt bad at the way he’s treated her. From the insults, names, pranks, cutting her off and taking his anger out on her, he almost felt horrible. Almost. He would then think back to what she did to him; from the insults, names, pranks, cutting him off and taking her anger out on him. And then, he remembered why he didn’t feel that bad. But at the same time, could he truly hate someone that made Remus, who sulked and moped around, smile on days leading up to the full moon?

Sirius also had the talent to notice the little things.

He noticed the way she brought Remus into a conversation and encouraged him to talk about something he enjoyed. He noticed how she treated Lily such a rare kindness or how she let James ramble on about Quidditch when nobody else would listen. He’d notice her playful side, her stubborn side and the side that he recognized a little too well; the ‘bury your emotions’ side.

Today, Sirius noticed the way her eyes were slightly lidded with sleep. Her smile turned large and laughed at Remus’ jokes. For a moment, a cursory moment when he felt unguarded, Sirius let himself feel the warmth that radiated from her.

If she wasn’t such an annoying brat (which Sirius grudgingly half-admitted to being the main cause), she might be attractive.

But just like that, he’s in control again and pushed away the thought.

James yet again observed the two strangely like he did earlier. As Remus flicked through the pages of the book searching for a particular passage, she felt him nudge her under the table.

What? She looked at him bewildered and swung her leg back. Footsie with James was definitely something she did not expect that morning.

James shook his head again, wearing a large smirk as his eyes flashed over to Remus and back to her. His eyebrows were raised.

What?

Nothing, he said with a look.

Y/N scrutinized him, turning her head away to watch from her peripheral vision of James repeating his actions with Remus. But instead of nudging him like he’d done to her, James must have kicked him hard since Remus jerked up and was about to scold him before his eyes flashed to her and back.

The bell rang and everyone got up from their seats, ready to start their classes. Lily drifted to her side and Y/N made sure to grab a few snacks she knew Lily would want during their break and made a note to check in on Dorcas during lunch. They headed to Artimacy along with the other marauders and Marlene.

She was already dreading the long day and it was worse that her schedule was jammed.

Once they passed the Charms classroom, all the marauders headed inside before Marlene caught her wrist, whispering lowly into her ear. “I need to talk to you later.”

Without any kind of explanation, Marlene then rushed into Charms. This caused a rush of nerves to burst instantaneously.

“What was that?” Lily queried, her nose in her diary for the upcoming events that day.

“Ugh — nothing? Marls wanted to talk about something, probably Quidditch.”

“Uh-huh,” she muttered absentmindedly before finally closing her book once they reached class and greeted Professor Vector. Vector wore her usual red robes and large pointy hat before droning on and on. Her strict voice kept everyone on their toes, effectively silencing the class, lecturing them without pausing for a second. Lily seemed to be the only person able to keep up with Vector and more than a few times, Y/N’s eyes sneakily trailed to copy down her notes. Not so sneakily, Lily noticed and tutted before giving her a good glance at her neat scrawl. By the end of the class, they were flooded with fifteen inches of parchment and additional reading.

Next was Defence Against the Dark Arts, which today Y/N felt herself listening closer than usual. Her mind bustled with that damned Daily Prophet article. Every perfectly printed word replayed in her mind. She felt uneasy and weary and she didn’t want to be alone in the hallways anymore.

Professor Keys was every bit of a tosser that Remus had said he was. Instead of the harsh lecturing and rambling Vector went on (that at the very least was educational and professional), Keys kept talking about head injuries: hitting your head by accident, rolling off the bed while sleeping, a bat to the head, a Bludger to the head, getting into a crash, magic gone wrong! He’d even gone as far as wearing a biking helmet which caused Y/N and Marlene to giggle while James plastered a small note onto the back of the helmet (while Remus asked a question to distract Keys) that said: hit me!

At some point, he’d even addressed her in front of the entire class.

“Your mother is a Muggle, right? A doctor — Slughorn told me.”

“Yes, wh —” “Keep her close. If you ever have a head injury, you’ll be fine — SAFE! Yes, yes! Safe! That’s what we all strive to be — safe! Especially from head injuries!”

“She’s cardio, not neuro,” she muttered under her breath.

But like always, Keys returned to his lesson that was quite enthralling.

“The Reductor curse is a blasting curse that can blow up solid objects into pieces,” Keys paced impatiently along the length of the classroom. “It is extremely powerful and many skilled wizards use this to get past obstacles. Now, for many, MANY, obvious reasons this spell needs to be exercised with care. You can find yourself wandering the halls only to have the floors turn to fine mist. There, you may hit your head and we all talked about how hitting your head is bad.

“I will say the incantation, but you mustn't say it, not until I give you the go-ahead.

“It’s Re-DUCK-toh — repeat it with me!”

“Re-DUCK-toh!”

“Excellent!” Professor Keys showed the hand movements, swishing his wand into a lopsided V shape while they all copied. Marlene swished her wand around fluidly, Remus watched intently while James fiddled around with his wand.

“Here’s an example — REDUCTO!” A jet of orange light had shot up from the end of Key’s wand and turned his desk into complete ash. His photo frames and trinkets all cluttered to the floor as everyone stared in amazement.

Now, everyone was off to their own devices, attempting to shoot the spell themselves. No student had yet to successfully cast it.

“Remember the wrist movement!” Keys squeaked as he made his rounds around the classroom.

It was difficult. Y/N had only managed to spark an orange ball of light from the top of her wand but nothing more. She channelled all her rage into it, but perhaps it was that very rage that clouded her magic. She was never great at offence spells, rather her talents lying in defensive spells.

On the other hand, James shoved a hand into his pocket, kicking around at the air while Marlene became so impatient that she prodded her wand, only to have it almost snap in half and have fire emit from the tip, burning her hair — Remus had to put it out. 

“Crackpot! Key’s lost it! This could get someone killed!” Marlene shouted. The smell of her brunt hair filled their noses as they sniffed in the unpleasant smell. Y/N conjured a small gust of wind and pointed it out the open classroom door, ridding the brunt smell of hair with fresh air before cracking open a window.

“Thanks, love. Now — I have to talk to you.” Marlene swings her arm over her shoulder and ushers Remus over; as expected, James follows. “As we know, Lily’s birthday is on the thirtieth. What should we do? I was thinking of a party.”

“For fuck sakes!” Y/N felt her entire body relax, “You could’ve been less cryptic.”

“It was for dramatic effect.”

“Sure — but it has to be on the smaller side,” Remus says immediately. Y/N nodded her head, agreeing.

“Where would we hold it? If it’s not going to be big, then the common room isn’t an option and our dorm is too small.”

“We have rounds that night before we switch with the seventh years. By the time we’re done, it would be around… ten? Students are usually up by then.”

“And Moony can just abuse his powers and threaten them with detention if they don’t leave.”

“Damn, pots — a bit of an outlaw, aren’t you?” He winks at her, smiling devilishly at the group.

Remus sighs, nose scrunching. “Nope — definitely can’t do that but I can keep Lily distracted long enough so you can decorate the room.”

Marlene’s face lit up like a thousand stars. Her smile radiated and shined brightly as she nodded her head eagerly, blathering on and on about their plan.

“You five are just stalling around!” Keys had come by their group, his head shaking.

“Sorry professor.” They all muttered out.

“Well, let’s see what you can do then.” He said expectantly, “Mr. Lupin, you first.”

Y/N looked over at him. She had yet to see Remus attempt to cast the spell and wondered if she could save him from being scolded by Keys if she’d gone first. It was better to cast a few sparks rather than conjuring nothing.

Keys scuttled away quickly, his wand at the ready to protect the rest of the students. Remus rolled up the sleeves of his robe, scarlet cuffs now showing as he effortlessly flicks his wand and said loudly and perfectly, demonstrating to the entire class, “Reducto!”

A searing ball of light blinded everyone; the blackboard in front of them exploded as the cure hit, disintegrated into pure ash. The smoke particles unfurled into the air and floated around, causing all the students to cough as the cloud of ash clouded their vision momentarily while the torrent of crashing chalk and board eraser clattered to the floor.

Marlene let out a low whistle. From what she could see, a few of the other girls in the class looked up at Remus, a shiny look in their eyes. Some swooned, others whispered to their friends.

Of course Remus Lupin knew the answer.

Years later down the line, Y/N would come back to this moment and remember thinking that Remus Lupin was possibly one of the smartest people she would ever get the pleasure of knowing.

Unbeknownst to her, James had his eye trained on her and Remus’ interactions since they first came back from the break. He watched Moony’s smile when he was around Whiskers and right now, as she looked up to Remus with a dazed look, James couldn’t help but feel himself but smirk at his knowledge.

Whenever he saw them both together, Whisker’s sunny energy contrasted with Remus’ quiet and gloomy self; he was a big fan of their dynamic.

He nudged her side as he looked at her, a smug knowing smile on his lips.

“What?”

He shook his head, nothing.

❉───────•~❉•᯽•❉~•───────❉

January 27, 1976

“Do you really think so?”

She dramatically clutched a hand to her chest in disbelief, “You really think I can survive without you and your Charms lessons?! It’s like you want Flitwick to bury my grave. And do you want to be alone in Astronomy? Without my presence?”

“Hey! I’m doing you a favour. You would be shit outta luck without me,” Remus mocks, albeit it’s playful.

“Well, Grandpa—”

“Grandpa?”

“You knit all the time and you dress like one,” she moved to pass him some chocolate truffles laid out while she bent down to a house-elf and politely requested tea for them, continuing, “Not all of us are geniuses.”

Remus' look is soft and everyone can see it but for Y/N as her back is turned, taking the teacups from the elves, thanking them before passing one to him while grabbing the milk and sugar the elves brought unasked for.

It brought a smile onto his lips as he tried to force it down, pretending to be unphased by her overly grand gestures. Remus found himself liking the attention that Y/N was beginning to show him. He liked how she always seemed to be so attentive and let him rant about his books and music. He liked how kind and funny she was. And now, there was hardly a trace of cautiousness or judgement that came from her, not unlike others who tended to avoid him and even his own chaps from time to time.

Remus rubs his face as he gulps down the warm tea in one go, getting up with his bag.

“Where are you going? There’s still thirty minutes before dinner ends!” Peter questioned.

“I have to set up for the group today. Besides, I have to take care of some prefect duties. I’ll see you two later,” he looks at her and Lily. There was a light step to Remus as he made his way out before James and Lily whipped their heads in her direction, both mirroring a giddy expression.

“Getting matey, you two?” James says with a large smirk.

Y/N frowns slightly at the accusation while her arms crossed around herself. “Fat chance. What are you suggesting?”

“You and Remus have been spending an awful lot of time together,” Lily wiggles her eyebrows suggestively at her.

“Same study group, that's the whole point, is it not?” She says a bit irritably. James had been making innuendos between her and Remus for the past three weeks, and now that Lily started, Y/N knew that it would never stop. “What are you implying?”

“You fancy each other!”

Y/N blink once, twice as her brain processed what they were accusing. Fancy? No! Remus was a friend! “Get your heads out of your asses. What a dumb question.”

“Wasn’t a question but a statement. You two fancy each other or at least Remus fancies you! You should’ve seen the way he looked at you just then!”

“Date! Snog! Shag!”

“I’m not going to fuck him.”

“Who are we fucking?” Mary popped in. Y/N dropped her head and stared at the table in front of her. If one thing Lily and James had in common, it was their need to embarrass and annoy her.

She sighs, about to refuse to answer but letting up. “Evans and Potter reckon that me and Lupin are more than friends.”

Mary’s eyes lit up so bright that they could rival the sun. She clapped her hands a few times in pure excitement. “I knew it!” “What?!”

The table looks at each other. James snorted so loudly that he choked on the pumpkin juice he was drinking and his face went as red as Lily’s hair. Lily looked as if she were about to pass out. Her laughter caused her nostrils to flare and Mary looked around guilty.

“What?!” She repeated, this time louder.

“Haven’t you noticed? We all think you’ve been shagging.”

“That is ridiculous! Will you guys stop with this nonsense of fake love-dovey gazes? So what he looked at me! You're supposed to look at people while you’re talking and boys and girls can be friends!”

“No! You have been spending so much time together and the only other woman Remus is ever around that often is either Lily and we all know they’re just friends —” “Yeah, like me!” “— or the professors! You should see how much you two smile and giggle with each other!”

Y/N groaned frustrated. “Why is everyone so obsessed with my sex life?”

“Because you don’t have one.”

She looked to Lily, her mouth opening as everyone around her laughed.

“I hate you.”

“Hate isn’t going to get you into heaven.”

Lily was impossible.

“You two would look so cute!

“Stop trying to play wingman here, Bambi!”

“Kiss, marry, Avada — James, Remus or Sirius? Go.” She pinched the bridge of her nose. Mary was always wildly inappropriate which usually made her laugh but this time only made Y/N curl in uncomfortability. Mary laughed, unrefined and Peter tried to object, asking why Mary hadn’t used his name.

“You can pick me, darling, I won’t mind. I know you’re obsessed with me.” James says and flicks his pretend long hair behind his back.

She could Avada them all and not feel bad. Groaning, she was not happy with this outcome. “I would murder you first then.”

“Why?!”

“I like Remus more than you at this point.”

“Whiskers! We’ve been friends longer!”

“The week when we came back from the holidays, they were talking about getting married!” Peter blurted out.

“What!?”

Mary cut them off, smiling wickedly, “One sickle that she and Remus are going to snog by the end of the year.”

“Four —” Peter interjected, “I’ve never seen him be so buddy-buddy with another girl that wasn’t Lily or his mother.”

“Guys, this is ridiculous!” Y/N tried to intervene.

Everyone wavered her off, continuing their bets.

Mary chuckled at Lily, “Six sickles.”

“C’mon! I am not going to fuck either boy!”

“You both are going to lose,” James proposed. Y/N’s heart dropped a bit, seeing the temptation in his eyes. James never was the one to bow down from a bet. “What about Sirius?”

Y/N felt the urge to hex him.

“Shut the fuck up, James.”

They all ignored her.

“You are a genius, wee pots!” Marlene jumped to her feet and walked over to sit beside Y/N. “They totally have sexual tension!”

“Right?!”

“Whenever Sirius walks into a room, the first person he likes to seek out is you —”

“That’s not true! What in the Britsh bloody fuck are you on?!”

“Nu-uh,” Potter says, wearing a shit-eating grin as he takes a moment to drink his pumpkin juice. “Kinnon isn’t wrong. Sirius is into you. It makes sense, all that tension and he wanted to ask you on a date when you first came to Hogwarts.”

“He does like the chase,” Lily interjects, “And out of all the years I’ve witnessed Sirius Black and his slag days, nobody has given him a run for his money like this.”

“You guys would look so hot together!” “Are we forgetting about Remus?! They would look better together and they actually like each other. Hell, they’re practically dating at this point!”

James shakes his head, “For a bloke that reads that many books, he’s horrible with words. He’s not going to say anything. Anyway — you should shag Black. I’m telling you, it would most likely solve whatever —” he makes a hand gesture to her, “— this is.”

“Screw it, I got a Galleon that she and Sirius are going to shag or snog before June,” Marlene stated confidently.

James sat up straighter, his chest puffing out in a challenging manner. Marlene flickered her hair off her shoulder and dropped one elbow on the table, placing her chin in one hand.

“Make it two — late May.” James challenged.

“Three Galleons, mid-May.”

“Three Galleons, two Knuts; late April.”

“Three Galleons, four Knuts; mid-April.”

“Four Galleons; March.”

Marlene stuck out her hand, shaking it with his. She turned to Y/N, who sat dumbstruck with her mouth open, absolutely mortified. “I have a lot of money on you, don’t you dare fail me.”

“Get to Remus first! Do you know many women are after him? He's the best boyfriend material out of all the marauders!” Lily shouted.

“Yeah? What about Black?”

“Lost cause! The bloke can’t even choose someone.”

Y/N got up from her seat, pushing up on the table to walk away. She’s had enough. Marlene and James were whooping while Mary was saying some obscene scenarios that she and Remus were going to get up to. People were starting to listen in now.

“Lupin’s a strong one. I’ve seen him lift luggage and parcels as heavy as ten stones the Muggle way, with ease. Imagine if he picked up and pushed you against a wall while —” “MARY SHUT UP!”

“He’s a lovesick git and you too!” Lily teases, “Bet you’ll get cheeky in the library!”

Her face burns with an unbelievable amount of embarrassment. She felt like she could die right there and then.

“What’s got you all so chuffed?” Sirius asks as he sits down at the table. This was the first time he made an appearance at dinner that night.

Just the timing — of course!

“Will you stop with that! I am not lovesick!” She stomped away, almost sprinting away from the group before she heard the faint half-scream coming from Sirius that sounded an awful lot like what the fuck?

Yeah, she could agree with that, what the fuck. Y/N just went through first, second, third and fourth hand embarrassment.

She quickly walked through the corridors and up into the library. Quickly storming up to their usual table, Remus was already there.

Over the past couple of weeks, she and Remus had fallen into this routine of turning from acquaintances to friends, actual friends.

Remus was the very definition of cool. He’s one of the smartest people she knew all the while he skipped classes often and despite that, all the teachers loved him. McGonagall, a hard one to impress, absolutely adored him and it was very obvious. He was also a prefect and he always let the marauders or even her off; had an ear for music, was incredibly strong and she’d always seen him carrying around chocolate that he never shared. 

He also had silverly scars littering his entire body and momentarily, she’d sometimes wondered if he was in a gang. Maybe the marauders were a secret gang name? But then she thought rationally; James Potter, in a gang?

He was fiddling around with his knitting needles and he wore glasses, he leaned back in the chair, ankle resting on the other knee. A pile of parchment, journals, books and even a mug sat there. She had never seen him wear glasses before, but he did look quite like a teacher.

“Going for the whole professor look, aren’t you?”

He chuckled, running a hand through his hair. “Where’s Lily?” He said, his accent softly lilt

Her face burned again.

“There’s still about twenty minutes until dinner ends; I think she wanted to finish eating.”

“Well then,” he took off his glasses, “You couldn’t get enough of me then?”

“Piss off.”

During their conversation, Remus made her acutely aware of every part of her: her skin, the way she walked, her appearance, her clothes. It didn’t help that his gaze was always so… intense.

At some point, he got up and talked to a few third years who were having trouble with a certain spell while she watched him. Her tongue darted out to wet her lips while her elbows were propped on the table. Remus came off as quiet and awkward, but he always excluded certain confidence during these sessions. She hadn’t thought about it until now, but the way the dimly glowing lamps highlighted the sharpest points of his face and the way the light bounced off the silver scars, Remus… was well… not shabby looking.

Josh! It’s not like Y/N didn’t have… urges. Most people did but all this talk about her and Remus and then her and Sirius was starting to get to her head!

“Want to try?” He asks as he sits back down in his seat, lifting the ball of yarn and needles in her direction, effectively breaking her out of her trance. Y/N shakes her head, waving a hand dismissively.

“Come on, I know you want to.”

“Fine.”

“Do you know how to?” She shakes her head.

Remus then shifts his body so his hands were on top of hers, guiding her fingers through the loops of yarn over the needle as his prefect voice was activated, muttering softly by her ear.

It might’ve been the middle of winter but she felt like her entire body was on fire. This has to be some kind of cruel joke the universe is playing on her.

He continued to help her until the repetition became second nature and left her to continue to knit.

Her small patch had large gaps and looked lopsided, but she smiled at the creation which caused Remus to as well. “Keep it,” he says with a smile.

“I’m not taking your needles.”

“Seriously. James brought me over thirty new ones on my birthday last year because he didn’t know what size needles he should get. Really, one pair won’t hurt me.”

And then Lily, kind, beautiful, yet annoying, slippery Lily waltzes in confidently, sharing a knowing look as she watches the entire scene play out. From his hands touching hers to him being as generous as giving her his knitting needles.

This did not look good at all.

She nodded but was dazed by Lily. She plonks down beside him and Y/N automatically rips her gaze away, shifting awkwardly in her seat.

The room felt too hot, too incredibly hot and thankfully Remus didn’t seem phased but oh my god — she knew deep down that once Remus got back to his dorm later tonight, James was going to give him the same hell and convince him and probably Sirius (if he hadn’t already done so) that they were soulmates or the ridiculous hopeless romantic shit James loved to spew.

Remus began talking in the background, flipping through his notes while Lily jabs her side.

But over the past couple of days, Sirius immediately could tell something was off. He couldn’t place the feeling, but it felt like the air around him shifted as Walburga oscillated between tolerating him to even being amiable. She’d even force an odd expression at him, resembling some sort of smile onto her face all the while he was dressed in Muggle clothing, talking about Muggle things and even mentioned his blood-traitor friends. Were they turning over a new leaf? It greatly unnerved and made him feel uncomfortable, but most of all suspicious.

Sadly, his musical bubble popped as Kreacher banged on the door, revealing himself before wincing at the loud bass. “Master Sirius,” his scratchy voice called for the third time that night, attempting to out-scream the music, “Mistress has requested for you to come down for dinner!”

“Shut the fuck up, Kreacher!” Sirius yelled back, frowning. He ought to start locking his door more often. Hopefully, he could find or create a spell that would only open on his command. He’ll just ask Moony once the break was over, he always knew all the answers. “Tell that old hag that I’m not hungry!”

“Mistress insists!”

He pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned out loudly. This was never going to stop until he came down, was it? “Argh! Fine! I’ll be down soon — get out!”

He walked towards his music player and lifted the needle, watching as the record slowly came to a stop. As the stupid house-elf left, Sirius caught onto the few words that he spewed before leaving, “Dragging the noble house of Black through the mud, associating with mudbloods. Mistress is right…”

Kreacher’s words infuriated him, so he slammed the door shut in his face. At the very least, his parents were never secretive about their disdain for Muggleborns. They never lied and were always upfront about their Pureblood mania, unlike this grovelling, pathetic little house-elf. For Godric’s sake! Besides, he had no room to talk! If he had the heart to do it, Sirius would have already thrown Kreacher into the fireplace in his living room and watched as he ignited into balls of flame.

Sirius then made his way to his door before throwing one last look to his messy room, a smirk arising. When Kreacher first told him that Orion and Walburga were holding another Pureblood party, Sirius chalked it up to another one of those stuffy parties like always and was determined to stay up in his room for as long as possible before wreaking havoc. So, he dressed clad in all Muggle clothing and wore a long leather jacket with thick fur-lined padding to keep him warm during the winter. Hung above the tall posters of his bed was a large Gryffindor flag as black and silver robes, branded with the infamous Black emblem, sprawled neatly on his bed. It was untouched until he picked it up and threw it onto the floor. For as long as he could, Sirius would continue to shatter their carefully crafted reputation one day at a time while basking in the feeling.

On multiple occasions, Walburga said that this dinner, in particular, held great importance that the other parties didn’t have previously. But it was another lie, he heard the same excuse for years as an attempt to get him to be proper. But on the slim chance that she wasn’t lying, Sirius wanted to break as many rules as possible tonight.

Rules were always meant to be broken, anyway. That’s what the marauders always said.

Sirius kept his door wide open, making his way towards the staircase. If any of the invitees were to come by and cross his room, which was in the same direction as the loo, they would see the half nude Muggle girls on his wall. He stuck up another two just for good measure. These ones were the most obscene ones he had; the women's breasts were pushed together with their hands, wearing tight knickers a few sizes too small for the models. For a finished look, he made sure to charm them with wandless magic, animated them to move, then headed down the staircase and into the main room. Surely, it would cause one of those old geezers to faint on sight.

Posh clothing, expensive food that would all go to waste by the end of that night, loads of house-elves carrying heavy trays and Purebloods flooded the hall as they were invited to the Black mansion for their annual New Year’s eve party. Any Purebloods Sirius could think of at the top of his head were there: the newly wedded Malfoys, Crabbles, Lestranges, Greengrass’. Notts and Rosiers. Not surprisingly, Uncle Alphard and Andromeda’s presence were missing.

Bloody hell, how was he going to get through this night?

He strolled into the grand living room, making his usual over the top entrance. Everyone was dressed in traditional clothing: long petticoats and conservative dresses. In the middle of the room was an odd, ritual-looking carpet and their ancient-looking dining table. Sirius’ eyes darted momentarily towards Regulus who was playing the violin, entertaining the guest as Walburga stood there, a large smile on her face as she applauded him. Bellatrix stood beside her, a horrid laugh erupted from her lips as the cackling reverberated. There was a crazed, deranged look in her eyes.

She purred loudly enough so that the other guest would hear, “Oh! The Dark Lord will be thrilled to hear that Sirius has finally come around. He would have loved to see his initiation tonight, but he was…”

Sirius blinked once, twice, three times as he stood there frozen. Heart dropping, his brain trammelled and eyes jumped from person to person, tuning all the chatter and sounds as his head swarmed with white static. He was stuck on one word; initiation. A light pounding began to intensify, manifesting into a headache as his brain ran a mile a minute trying to decipher what was happening before the window closest to him caught his eye. Outside, the light reflected on the surrounding surface illuminated a delicate glowing green.

Everything was starting to piece itself together. That's why everyone was being freakishly nice, they were attempting to swindle him into an allegiance to Voldemort.

One thing was for certain that if Orion and Walburga were plotting his initiation into the Death Eater ranks tonight, Sirius was going to be long gone before the ceremony started.

Out of the corner of his eye, Regulus saw him withdraw back up the stairs in a hurry as his mother politely exited and then retreated after him. Her shoes clicked loudly against the wooden floors, clearly annoyed. Regulus only caught a glimpse of Sirius’ clothing — very obvious Muggle clothing.

Sirius began walking faster before breaking out into a sprint in the direction of his room. He had no plan; his parents took his wand at the beginning of the break and the only thing he had for transportation was an old broomstick. Sirius thrashed his head around, sweat starting to form as pure adrenaline followed through every vein. Walburga’s stomping could be heard clearly as she caught up to Sirius; Orion hot on her tail.

His room rattled as Walburga slammed the door behind her. “I told you to stop dressing like that! Don’t you dare embarrass us now! Stop pretending to be a fool. You will uphold your title as the Heir! It’s your born duty!”

How many times did he have to say no for them to get it through their thick skulls? Regulus seemed to be their softer version of themselves, surely they could’ve passed the title onto him by now. “I am not getting that mark!”

Walburga’s eyes bugged out in rage, “Blood-traitor! It’s time to choose your path. We’ve given you chance after chance to stop mingling with those mudbloods —”

“Don’t call them that!”

“You mudblood lover —”

“I said don’t call them that!

Her face reddened, a large vein popped on the side of her neck that was visible from the high, tight bun she wore. “Mudbloods! You associate yourself with mudbloods! You’re following in the footsteps of those filthy blood-traitors you’re so fond of. Those Potters! And that dirty half-blood! You could’ve achieved great honour and greatness to our name!”

“SHUT IT! BITCH!” Sirius was so full of rage that it clouded his better judgement.

“HOW DARE YOU RAISED YOUR VOICE AT ME! HOW DARE YOU SPEAK AGAINST US?!” Walburga’s voice was so high-pitched and loud that it travelled downstairs. Regulus faintly heard the familiar shrieks and stopped playing his violin, making his way up to Sirius’ room. As he opened the door, Regulus remained silent as he took a few steps to become closer with his brother. Nobody seemed to mind his presence, aside from Sirius.

Sirius scoffed in his direction and felt Regulus step on his shoe a few times, attempting him to stop. Sirius shook him off and held his head as Walburga continued to approach him. Her wild movements almost made him flinch but not once did he take a step back. The murderous look in his eyes managed to further enraged her as his fist was curled tightly, his chest heaved up and down. His throat already felt sore from the screaming.

“This family is absurd! You crone —” Sirius was cut off. He tried to open his mouth but no sounds came out. Orion had a sickening smirk. A hand flew to his neck, rubbing it as if it would’ve given him the ability to speak again. They’d used a silencing spell.

“Do not talk to your mother like that,” Orion spoke for the first time.

“You horrid — foul — low-life —” Without a second, Walburga brandished her wand and pointed it directly at him. For a second, Sirius flinched, his fear now showing and he saw the joy it sent through his parents.

“CRUCI —”

Sirius braced himself to be hit by a bright light. A part of him was surprised, they have never gone this far to punish him. His eyes fluttered closed, just for a second and waited for the curse to hit him, but nothing came.

Bravely, he opened his eyes. Regulus had stepped in front of him, blocking Walburga. Her wand dug deep into his skin, tightly pressed against his neck as the word was threatening to spew from her lips. There was a long silence that swept through the room, the only thing that could be heard was heavy, ragged breathing.

“Move this instant or you’ll be next,” Orion snapped. Although, everyone knew it — Sirius, Regulus, Walburga, Orion and all the guests downstairs knew that it was an empty threat. They would never lay a hand on Regulus, let alone use a spell of that calibre. Sirius scoffed involuntarily before he could even register it.

“Mother, please put your wand down. Sirius has done… inexcusable things and his actions will be accounted for, but I beg you, on my behalf, to please let me bring him back to his senses.”

Walburga’s eyes looked deep within Regulus’, her eyes filling with a rare kind of love and softness that Sirius once craved so deeply for. Regulus continued to plead with his parents until she lowered her wand gradually and Regulus stepped away once it was no longer directed at either of them.

“End of story.” Orion threatened, “You will get this mark. The utter disgrace you’ve become is unbelievable. Get dressed, we’ll meet you downstairs.”

They made their way out of the room and slammed it shut, leaving Regulus behind with him. Sirius felt his voice return to him and coughed meekly to test it.

Sirius had never been one to listen to the rules, he shined too brightly to ever be dimmed like that. He would rather die than get that mark. He rushed over to grab a bag that had an extension charm on before shoving any belongings inside: money, clothing, albums and anything that held some sort of importance or value.

Regulus watched as he paced throughout his room until Sirius came to a stop and looked him directly in his eyes. Sirius wasn’t quite sure what made him do it; maybe it was a last-ditch effort or that the years of love and care for Regulus resurfaced again, but he spoke.

“Come with me.”

Regulus’s eyes widened as he took in what he said. It was the first time Sirius had spoken to him in years that didn’t sound remotely angry. “What?”

“Reg, I’m giving you a chance to leave this hell hole and come with me.”

He felt his mouth gape as he stared at his older brother, almost in disbelief, “I managed to buy you some time but don’t expect that they would ever forgive you after this! Please, just sit down and think —”

“I’m giving you a chance! You can escape with me, just give me the word and the Potters will have us both. I don’t think you know what you’re getting yourself into.”

“We have to uphold our title, even if we don’t like —”

“Do you hear yourself right now? Don't make yourself look like a fool,” Sirius snapped. “Ask yourself this: are you willing to kill your Muggleborn classmates just because of their blood? Are you willing to tear lives away? This isn’t a game, you’ll be killing babies, Regulus, babies! Merlin! It wouldn’t stop there, it would be children, teenagers, adults! Are you willing to have that weight on your shoulder?”

Regulus felt himself bite down on his tongue and the taste of metallic filled his mouth, swallowing it down. “It’s not that simple and you know that.”

Sirius growled at that, his eyes glossing over from pleads to anger. “It is if you come with me.” He desperately searched his eyes for any kind of sign of a waver in judgement.

“I — I can’t —”

Yes! A blossoming feeling of hope lunged in him. There was a flicker in his emotions! Maybe he was finally seeing the truth.

“Yes, you can! Reg, please listen to this once, we can get out of here. We can both be happy and be brothers again! Don’t you miss it? I know I do!”

Regulus’s eyes cast downwards, staring at his feet. He wanted to look anywhere but at his brother. “We need to think about this more, maybe if you calmed down —”

“I’ll never forgive you if you don’t,” Sirius tried to use a different tactic, pushing even harder, “I’ll never talk to you again. Don’t be a coward, don't be soft, not now. Please, Regulus — I’m begging you!”

“You can’t leave! I-I’ll get them to push it off, so you don’t have to get it! You can’t go! It’ll kill me if you do! Please, Sirius, you have to understand where I’m coming from!”

Shit, he wasn't going to listen no matter what he said. Sadly, Sirius’ head hung, his body closing off. “I can’t be on a leash anymore.”

The two brother’s eyes met, Regulus remained quiet. Typical.

Sirius continued, “It’s killing me to stay.”

Unexpectedly, Sirius made a move neither expected. He crossed the room, unable to stop his body and looked directly into his brother’s eyes before pulling him into a tight, bone-crushing hug. Regulus’s head fell into the crook of his neck as he pressed his forehead on the top of his head, inhaling as he smelt the minty smell of his brother’s cologne mixed with the lavender scent of his shampoo. He tried to commit it to memory. Regulus had made his bed and the last moment he wanted of his brother was to be a happy one. The hug filled with a mix of unspoken love, fear and disagreement and they both felt it. It was a moment of false brotherly bliss that he would milk every second from. The strong sense of deja vu hit them and it felt like they were twelve and eleven again. Neither pulled back for a while.

This was a more effective punishment either had ever received.

Ever so quietly, as if there were eyes and ears in the walls, Regulus whispered softly into the shell of his ear, “I love you, brother.”

Sirius pulled back, only nodding stiffly. He couldn’t say it back.

“Please stay —”

“You know I can’t.” Sirius’ eyes were slitted and he shook his head.

In that moment, Regulus wondered if that’s all he’ll ever be to him, another slimy Slytherin.

He wiped his tears harshly. The thick material of his tux rubbed hard against his skin that left a small burning sensation. “Your wand is in their room, in the drawer beside their bed.”

His eyes were filled with unshed tears that threatened to escape. “If you know what's good for you, you’ll leave too.”

His tone was cold, so harsh that Regulus felt himself jump back a bit. Sirius grabbed his broom before walking to his door. He almost turned back. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t.

Perhaps he was the coward.

With a heavy heart, he tip-toed his way down the corridor and walked towards Walburga and Orion’s room. Their door opened with a soft click and Sirius whipped his head back to see if anyone was coming by. When it was clear, he ran towards the drawer and opened it. The familiar dark oak, almost black wood laid there and Sirius almost cried out of sheer relief. He picked up his wand again and felt the wood warm into his hands. Closing his eyes, feeling the magic surge through his body and channelled it into the wand. The calming sensation gave him a much needed confidence boost before shoving it into his back pocket and bolted towards the window, successfully popping open the latch.

The cool breeze was a sharp divergence from the burning of his skin. He mounted his broom and was about to push off but hesitated. He looked outside again, this time laking in the surrounding environment. The same green light illuminated the snow. His eyes continued to hop around before eyeing the reflection in the pond outside; the Dark Mark hung above their house.

Sirius’ body felt a shock wave dumped on top of him that was more effective than any ice-cold bucket of water. Someone was dead. They killed someone.

He cursed under his breath, running his hands through his black hair and tugged down harshly. This wasn’t happening — there was no way this was fucking happening.

Too distracted by his realization, Orion came from behind him and swished his wand, causing Sirius’ broom to fly out from under him and out the window. Orion grabbed him by the wrist in a bone-crushing, vice grip that Sirius swore he heard something crack. He tried to fling his hand off, but it only made his grip tighter. Orion drew his hand back and threw a punch to the side of his face, stunning him. His back slammed into the wall behind him as the searing pain spread through his head. Soon enough, there was a sticky, thick liquid that dripped down his head. Using Sirius’ muddled state to his advantage, Orion dragged him down the stairs and into the living room.

Guests were staring as Orion announced that he tried to flee. He flung him into the middle of the room as Sirius stared at a woman that now laid dead on the dining table. He tried to look away, but he couldn't do it. Her eyes were glossed over and there was a large gash that ran down the side of her face. That woman looked almost exactly like Marlene.

Marlene...

The very notation made Sirius sick immediately as he felt bile rush up and threw up onto the ground. Everyone around was laughing before flocking towards him like vultures. He briefly caught Regulus’s eyes. He looked so scared.

He muttered out no after no. He didn’t know what to do. He wanted to move, to scream, to hit someone or something but his feet were rooting in place in fear. His mother’s voice thundered around before cornering him close to the fireplace. Bellatrix could be heard encouraging Walbugra as she raised her wand to him again, pointing it directly in front of his face. He heard the faint screams of Regulus, even Narcissa asking Walburga to stop. He barely registered the curse coming from her mouth.

He inhaled and felt it hit him.

Sirius’ entire body felt like it was on fire as his body fell limp to the ground. His body convulsed, shaking and gasping for air. His blood felt as if it was boiling to the highest degree and that his guts were infused with molten lava. His horrible screams ricocheted off the walls as Regulus could be overheard wailing for Walburga to stop. Orion simply stood over his body as silent participation in his mother’s tyranny.

His body was paralyzed. He could hear everyone shouting at him, but he couldn't process a lick of it. He caught onto words like prove yourself, dignity, swear his allegiance. He choked out no after no, even if the constricting of his lungs grew tighter and tighter. Bellatrix was off to the side, and from what he could see, a large tattoo marked her arm; a snake and skull - the Dark mark. He could hear her go on about choosing his fate and that it was time to choose it.

It was barely a moment, a fleeting one in which Walburga stopped as she exerted too much power in one spell. Sirius coughed out blood and felt the world around him clear from the overbearing darkness that stuck as soon as the curse hit him. As she breathed in, ready to send another curse through his body, Sirius coughed a bit, feeling the sticky feeling of blood arising from his mouth and nose. His head pounded as he crawled to the fireplace, his bag still somehow was slung over his body. His chest heaved up and down. In a swift motion, he pulled out his wand and used it to brace himself as his father cast another Crucio. His little power did nothing as he fought his father off. A gleaming red light and blue met each other. As the Cruciatiats curse began to overpower him, Sirius made his way to grab a handful of Floo powder. The jar felt off the table and he only managed to grab a small amount as the rest sprayed all over him. Realizing what was happening, Regulus yielded his wand and fired Expelliarmus at Orion, giving Sirius enough time to fall into the fireplace and yelled, “To Potter Mansion!”

Sirius decided not to look back, he didn’t need to glance around the room to face them. They never were his family anyway. 

❉───────•~❉•᯽•❉~•───────❉

It was a quiet celebration as the Potter family got ready to toast to the new year.

Euphemia and Fleamont kept kissing each other, looking like a teenage couple. They’d use the excuse that it would be their last kiss in 1975, but James knew better. Lairs. James stuck out his tongue, disgusted as he sipped on his non-alcoholic beverage and averted his eyes.

James could hardly contain his excitement, though. All he could think about was all the new pranks he had in store and all the Quidditch strategies he wanted to try the upcoming games. And maybe, just maybe he could successfully charm Lily enough and she’d finally say yes to his pursuits.

He pondered, thinking what else he could improve on. His looks were there, along with his magical abilities and great sense of humour. He knew multiple languages, was raised as a gentleman, knew how to make a mean spaghetti and meatballs, was great at Quidditch and had a pretty cool and extensive rock collection. They were sparkly, women like sparkly things, right? He was the entire package.

Maybe it was time to move on, he thought to himself. He did flirt with that one Hufflepuff before the break. That was fun.

Oh, he couldn’t wait to see Remus and Peter! They were planning to come around nine o’clock to spend the day with each other, have a nice sleepover before heading to Platform nine and three quarters the next day. His mind then reeled to Sirius, he hoped he was okay. It was a shame he couldn’t send an owl to him. Stupid Black family, always reading his letters…

He wondered if Remus liked his gift. He loved the sweater he made him, the soft wool on his skin made him feel a sense of fuzzy joy. The white sweater fitted him like a glove. Then James thought about Peter, did he like his gift? Then, like a ripple effect, his mind drifted to Y/N. A part of him wondered if his gift to her was a little much, but he thought it was the perfect mix of Muggle and magic together.

James smiled to himself, life was good. He was chuffed and felt relaxed for once. He looked around his house and the nice house-elves that roamed his house, cheering for the new year as well as they hugged. His parents, on the other hand, were laughing lightly, a soft deep chuckle rang from his father and a happy sigh from his mother comforted him. James was lucky to be filled with so much love and a rush of joy flooded him.

All was well until he was pulled away from his happy thoughts when a loud thud echoed throughout their living room. The portraits hung gasped and screamed.

The Potters snapped their heads towards their fireplace. Instead of the normal red and orange, green flames crackled in the air as a body shot out from it and thumped to the ground. Laying on the ground, curled into a tight ball was his best friend. In an instant, James ran to Sirius as he yelled for his father to grab a first aid kit. His mother rushed along with him.

All of James’ previous thoughts vanished, along with any critical thinking skills. His entire mind went blank as he stared at Sirius. He looked roughed up but it was hard to decipher his current state.

He had never seen Sirius so small before.

He scanned for any major injuries and took note of his limp wrist and bleeding nose and head. Sirius could hardly mutter out a word, his voice hoarse and he was about to pass out. The only thing that came from his mouth was a strained groan.

James pulled Sirius into his arm, sliding one to cradle his neck and head while taking a hold of his shoulder to steady him. With the help of his mum, they managed to lay him delicately on their leather couch, Sirius’ blood seeping into it, staining the light brown couch a dark maroon.

In the background, he could hear the clock struck twelve, signalling the new year.

His mother quickly did a full scan of Sirius and patched him up with magic before getting up to call a Healer and Dumbledore.

They came in less than a couple of minutes. The distant crack outside alerted the family of their arrival. The Healer frantically bandaged Sirius to the best of his abilities before dousing Potions down his mouth. A mind Healer was also present to check for any brain damage. No lasting damage they said. Then, his body was transferred into a spare bedroom that Sirius often used whenever he stayed at the Potter’s. Dumbledore spoke hastily with his parents as James stayed with Sirius.

James paced back and forth as he watched his best mate’s body in the bed. Sirius was asleep, far too exhausted. He felt his blood boil and swore he turned bright red. James covered his face with his hands, feeling empty. 

Immense guilt settled its way into his heart, the unbelievable amount of shame and guilt ate away at him. He let this happen. James let this happen. He knew that something wasn’t right and willingly let him go back into such a nasty household. He should’ve pushed harder to persuade Sirius to stay with him.

The Cruciatus curse, that's what the Healers and Dumbledore said.

He wanted to jump on a broomstick and fly down to the Black Manor and set the entire place on fire. He knew a great deal of spells that would land him a one-way ticket to Azkaban.

James caught himself in the nearby mirror. The white sweater Remus knitted him was now splattered with Sirius’ blood. It made him feel itchy and suddenly he began to panic. He gripped it off before pulling on a different sweater. His hands shook, tears filled his eyes as he pulled it off his head. Shakily, he wrote to Remus and Peter, telling them to come as soon as they can. Outside, Mad-Eye Moody was there, placing protective Charm after Protective charm along with his parents and Dumbledore. Spouts of greens, reds, blues and purples filled the night sky and James would’ve believed they were fireworks. Correction, he wished they were fireworks.

After his owl flew out the window, the loud flutter of its wings woke Sirius. His grey eyes opened, momentarily blinded by the bright lamp. He rushed to his bed, grabbing a hold of Sirius' hand delicately.

“Hey there.”

“Happy New Year,” Sirius replied in a raspy voice, cracking a smile. The colour in his face began to return.

He almost cried out in relief, “You complete arse. You really know how to make an entrance.”

Sirius’ smile grew cold and distant, a faraway look settled into his eyes as his body became rigid. He muttered, looking away from James, “I’m sorry.”

James didn’t know what to do, so he summoned a house-elf, asking for tea and some of Sirius’ favourite food, along with a strengthening Potion. There was a heavy tension in the room, and they both knew it. James began to squirm in his seat. He signed and turned to him, eyeing him calmly.

“Sirius, what happened.” He asked so softly that Sirius barely managed to catch on.

“Nothing happened, drop it.” 

Sirius was angry, it was his usual response whenever he felt helpless. James backed down instantly, not wanting to push him too much. He would ask another time. Instead, he simply asked Sirius to make room in his bed and laid down, hugging him. James felt him flinch.

Sirius didn’t even notice he was shaking until he was wrapped into a hug. His vision was blurred with heavy tears as they seeped and soaked James’ sweater.

“It’s okay. You’re safe.”

“I’m sorry.”

James stroked his hair and felt his heartache, “Why are you sorry? Don’t be. You’re my best mate. I will never leave you, okay?”

Almost at once, Sirius felt his anger dissipate as he made a strangled noise, his sobs growing louder. They held onto each other for what seemed like hours afterwards.

Chapter 03: Ms, I Mean, Professor

❉───────•~❉•᯽•❉~•───────❉

The first official week of lessons had Y/N jumping through hoops.

The first thing she noticed about Hogwarts was the size. Ilvermorny had a lot more students, classes and space but Hogwarts somehow had more corridors and stairs that made it easy to get lost. She’d been provided with a map to help her find her class, but it never worked out. The map was oversimplified and only showed the longest ways to get to various classes.

However, Nearly Headless Nick was very nice to her. He would often help and point her in the right direction. But, she fell into a trap by asking the ghost, Peeves the Poltergeist, for help. When she asked where Charms were, he pointed her in the wrong direction, making her a staggering twenty minutes late to class.

Filch managed to be worse. He found her roaming the halls lost and despite her protest, he accused her of trying to skip, going as far as to threaten her with a visit to Dumbledore’s office. Thankfully, a nearby prefect, Frank Longbottom, managed to help her escape.

Next, Y/N didn’t know that at Hogwarts, you were supposed to call your teachers professor. So when she asked Professor McGonagall a question in front of the entire class saying ‘Ms,’ it was safe to say that students gasped or their eyes widened. Thankfully, McGonagall didn’t seem to be mad, but if anything found it amusing.

She cringed internally, face heated as the memory came back to her. It would be quite the adjustment.

On the other hand, the classes themselves were cool and some held a bit of a challenge. But significantly, Hogwarts had fewer classes and options. Gemology, Magical Theory and a few elective language classes were not provided. However, the classes that Hogwarts did offer were well taught and highly advanced.

Defence Against the Dark Arts was a class Y/N always took a liking to, at Hogwarts and Ilvermorny. But Professor Keys was a bit eccentric — to say the least. He made the class feel like a comedy course.

Keys was paranoid, often going into fits of nonsense but returned to teaching as if nothing had happened. Or he’d whip his head around constantly, spouting that he had heard a dead colleague say his name. By the end of the lesson, Professor Keys had gone into at least eight different tangents, tripped over himself and claimed that someone was out to get him and spoke about random facts he knew, mostly about head injuries. Lily had mentioned to her that there was a curse on the job position and no professor had been able to keep the job for longer than a year before all dying of fatal accidents.

If she were Professor Keys, she would be paranoid too.

Y/N was more than prepared to be behind everyone, especially in regards to the upcoming OWLs, but luckily she’d been caught up to speed for the most part, if anything, she knew more material than some of her classmates. But, one class she figured out that she was very behind in was Charms. Her teacher, Professor Flitwick was a tiny wizard who stood on stacks of books just to be seen in class. He’d instantly realized this and given her old test from the fourth year to review.

She had no real opinions on Arithmancy yet, but she and Lily were in the same class — so that was nice. She did know that she liked Astronomy, Care of Magical Creatures and Herbology.

On the downside, a class she had thoroughly enjoyed before attending Hogwarts was Potions, yet that drastically changed. She didn't like Professor Slughorn much. He tended to boast about famous witches and wizards he knew and favourited students too much, Lily and unfortunately, took a liking to Y/N too.

However, Slughorn was not the problem, nor was the huge amount of reading and writing but sharing the class with the Slytherin fifth years was, especially Severus Snape.

From the first moment they meet, she already had the idea that she disliked Severus. His remark about her blood status threw her off and made her question Lily and her intentions until she found out she was a New-Maj. A part of her knew she shouldn’t have been surprised; the wizarding war had been going on since the beginning of 1970. Although it was safer to have stayed in North America, she never had a choice and she doubted her mother even knew about the war, let alone how serious it was.

Y/N didn’t know how bad the war had been thus far. The Daily Prophet hardly talked about it.

But by the end of the first Potions lesson, she knew for sure she didn't like Snape. He was creepy, barely spoke louder than a whisper, disliked her because of her blood status, and seemed jealous he had to share Lily's attention. She swore he was born with a sneer on his face.

────────•~❉•᯽•❉~•────────

September 5th, 1971

In the morning, she expected Celeste to come fluttering down the table. Two nights ago, Y/N had written home to tell her mother the exciting news that she’d been sorted into Gryffindor. However, today she hadn’t brought anything back and flew down to take a nibble at her food before flying off in the owlery to sleep. She felt a bit weird knowing that first year students got a letter back from their parents, joyous of their news while she didn’t even know if her mother even read her letter.

She and Lily were going over a diagnostic that McGonagall handed out while they sat at the Gryffindor table for lunch. She wondered momentarily why the redhead had been so peculiarly kind to her the instant she met her. Whatever it was, Y/N was thrilled that she knew at least one person; and that person seemed to have pure intentions.

“Heads up,” Lily said quickly.

Sirius strolled in wearing the typical Gryffindor tie and uniform. His hair was pulled back into a loose bun as a few strands framed his face. Notably, she noticed that Sirius seemed to have been limping slightly. Sirius Black was in the same Transfigurations, History of Magic, Potions and Care of Magical Creatures class as her. They’d only spoken a few other times since the Sorting Ceremony and Y/N didn’t have a strong opinion on him yet, but he was arrogant, and it showed.

“Hello.” He said, a smug smile sitting on his face.

“Hi.” Sirius took this as an invasion and sat next to her.

“How are you doing?” Her eyes flew to Lily across the table who seemed to be holding back from laughing. Her hand covered her mouth as she continued to flick through her book.

She watched him warily. “I’m good. Just looking over something for Transfigs.”  

“Already studying?” he scoffs a bit, “Bit of a swot you are.” Judging by Lily snapping her head up to him with an arched brow and lips pressed together, she assumed he didn’t mean swot in a kind way. Although, Sirius seemed to get the message after Lily bore her eyes into him.

“Ugh… sure?” Shortly after, Y/N returns to complete the diagnostic. She wanted to get it over with as fast as she could, a little impatient because she wanted to eat lunch.

“Quiet one, aren’t you.” he spoke again, “Come on! I really want to hear that pretty accent of yours.” His tone felt condescending and his sly smirk did nothing but annoy her. Suddenly, his hand snatches the book out of hers as he dangles it above her head.

She flashes Sirius an indignant glance, “Give me my book back.”

“How about you ask nicely?”

She didn’t ask, but sprang to her feet and ripped it out of his hands before a thwack! could be heard as she brought down the book on Sirius’ arm.

Lily stared open-mouthed before she cut in, using her stern prefect voice to sort them out. Y/N looked at him, irritated. “You know how to make an impression, don’t you?”

He didn’t seem to get the hint or chose to ignore her remark. “For someone as pretty as you, of course. One and only.”

The bell rang and signified the start of lunch, giving Y/N a chance to cringe inwardly at the boy’s statement. She ignored him for the rest of the day.

❉───────•~❉•᯽•❉~•───────❉

After dinner, Professor McGonagall pulled Y/N aside and escorted her to her office. As she pushed the door open, she ushered her to sit down on a chair opposite to her. Out of curiosity, she looked around her room. Her office was cozy and neat. By the large windows were thick green velvet curtains with gold-trimmed tassels and a large maroon rug. There was also a small fireplace and rows of photos on the mantel. If she squinted hard enough, a small Golden Snitch sat on a display case in the middle while an old Quidditch broom sat in the corner. McGonagall’s oak table was also neat, aside from the heavy stack of parchment that read NEWTs REVISION GUIDE and a few fancy quills in a cup.

Before she said anything, her professor pulled out a small tin of cookies and held up a few tea bags. Behind McGonagall, she floated up two golden cups in the shape of a lion’s head. “Would you like one?”

Y/N politely declined. She was too nervous, assuming she might’ve done something wrong. A couple of theories went by in her mind, was it because she said Ms over professor? It was an honest mistake.

She blurted out, “Am I in trouble?”

To this, McGonagall gave a rare smile and chuckled lightly, “Not at all. I just wanted to know how you’ve been settling in? I can imagine that it's been a lot to take in at once.”

“It hasn’t been bad.” She rubbed the back of her head.

McGonagall cleared her throat, “Okay,” she frowned slightly, “Well, you’ve been doing quite well in my class. You’re advanced. I’d say as good as a sixth year student. I did hear that Ilvemrony does excel in Transfigurations.”

She nodded her head and didn’t say anything.

McGonagall sighed and sipped her tea.“As the head of your house, I can try and accommodate to help you and make this transition as smooth as it can be. If you ever need anything, please, don’t hesitate. If you don’t have any questions, you’re free to leave.”

“Thank you, Ms — sorry, I mean professor.”

Professor McGonagall pursed her lips to prevent smiling too much and bid a quiet goodbye.

Outside, Y/N found Lily standing off to the side, waiting for her.

“The password changed tonight and you missed the other prefects giving it out,” she told her. “Didn’t want you stuck outside. Let’s go.”

In their shared dorm, Marlene was rifling through her Quidditch gear while Dorcas read a book about magical creatures on her bed, wearing her large rectangular glasses. Lily went off for rounds with Remus as Y/N moved over to her bed. Her suitcase was propped against the truck at the foot of her bed. She had yet to fully unpack and assumed this was the best time to do so. In the background, Marlene’s record player had been playing Dolly Parton since she unpacked it the night of the sorting.

After getting to know the group for a bit, they intimidated her. They often offered to join them, but Y/N didn’t want to wedge herself in, so she opted to avoid the other girls by going for long walks around the castle.  

" How did you meet her?"

Sirius looked up from the amber liquid his glass currently held, meeting the girl's eyes. She held his stare without so much as a speck of fear, he gave her one of his rare smiles, it was a bittersweet thing really.

The older man hummed, " I remember it like it was just yesterday," he paused, the smile disappearing and turning into a slight frown, " It was 1979, I had just turned 20 and I was more than a little wild."

The girl across from him grinned, " Is that how you met her?" she asked, eyebrow raised, ", was she one of your nightly escapades?"

Sirius's lip twitched, " No, she was too classy for that." he chuckled, ", she was extraordinary, there's no doubt about it." He gulped down some of the whiskey, " It was December and I was on my way to Godric's Hollow..."

Sirius practically skid onto the yard and squeezed his eyes shut until his bike was stationary.  He then quickly got off after cutting off the engine and rushed to the door and began knocking vigorously.

It took a second before the door was answered by one James Potter, James' face was one of relief but annoyance, he grabbed Sirius by the wrist and yanked him inside before locking the door with a charm.

" Where the hell were you ?" he hissed, his hazel eyes flashing with a warning, telling Sirius he wasn't off the hook.

Sirius smiled sheepishly, " I was out...," he trailed off, scared to tell his friend where he actually was.

" Out where?" queried James, his arms crossed and foot tapping with impatience.

Sirius sighed, his silver eyes glancing down to his biker boots, " I was with that bird Vera," he answered, not going into detail about what ' was with ' actually meant.

 James punched him in the shoulder, " Damn it Pads! You know you can't be doing that, especially when we have an Order Meeting in less than five minutes!"

Sirius put his hands up in surrender, ignoring his throbbing shoulder. The ex-quidditch player really didn't know his own strength, " Look, I know I fucked up okay, but I'm here now, you need to calm down." he said quickly, walking toward the kitchen door.

James huffed and stomped behind him, " No it isn't," he grumbled.

Remus, who had arrived thirty minutes prior looked up from the evening profit and sighed, " C'mon Pads, be more professional, we have a new recruit anyway."

Sirius stopped mid-search through the pantry, " We do?" he asked looking at the werewolf, " Who is he?"

Remus shrugged, " Don't know."

James planted himself beside Remus, a faint smile gracing his face when Lily arrived in the doorway, " It may be a girl," she quipped, walking in and Peter following behind, " It'd be nice to have another woman in the Order."

Sirius paid the group no attention while pouring himself a glass of firewiskey, he took a swallow and sighed, seating himself in the living room while he waited for the meeting to start and listening for the new arrivals, offering them a smile or ' Hello.'

He wished this wasn't happening, well who didn't?

He just wanted to have fun, any twenty-year-old would. Bloody hell, he was twenty years old and fighting in a war, isn't that something.

Sirius, as selfish as it sounded, didn't want to settle down and have a family. He couldn't understand what was so wrong with that, he just wanted to have fun and he knew soon enough Lily and James would be having some so he had his hands full already with his future nieces and nephews.

" C'mon Sirius, it's starting!" shouted Lily. So Sirius stood, ready to take on any job they threw at him.

He took a seat between Remus and James, on the other side of Remus sat a fidgeting Peter and on Jame's side a determined Lily.

Sirius felt that familiar feeling in his stomach, it was excitement, anticipation, whatever you wanted to call it.

Yeah, he wanted more than anyone for it all to end, but like the other youths in the room, he was eager to help and participate in the war effort.

Dumbledore came in, and as soon as he did the entire room became silent, the old man smiled, " Hello everyone, I do apologize for keeping you all, but the new recruit has just arrived," he said cheerfully, his periwinkle robes flowing behind him as he walked to the head of the table, " I'm sorry to say they will be a tad late."

The meeting went on, Sirius assigned to watch the corner that connected Diagon Alley and KNockturn Alley, his partner was to be decided soon.

As they were wrapping up the meeting they heard a knock at the door, Dumbledore stopped mid-sentence and smiled, " That must be them." he smiled.

He got up from his seat and went out the kitchen door. Sirius heard the door open and close and muffled voices. Dumbledore came back in, " Ms. (Y/L/N), will you please come in once you've put your things down?" he called.

There was a muffled response as footsteps approached the door.

The door opened to reveal a girl, barely a woman, she looked to be around seventeen or eighteen, obviously fresh out of school but Sirius didn't recognize her from Hogwarts.

" This is (Y/N) (Y/L/N), top of her class while she attended Ilvermorny, and is now training to be an Auror," he said, introducing the girl who seemed to have a permanent frown on her face. (Y/N) nodded to them all in acknowledgment, not offering a smile of sorts before taking her seat next to Frank Longbottom as Dumbledore finished up the meeting.

After the meeting was over with (Y/N) stood to go but Alice stopped her, " (Y/N), right?" she asked, a smile on her face. The solemn girl nodded, " Alice  Longbottom?" she asked, her accent standing out like a sore thumb.

Alice seemed to glow at the mention of her married name, " Yes that's me, you need to meet everyone." she quipped before gently leading the American over to where everyone was lounging on the sofas.

" Ok (Y/N), this Marlene, Emmaline, Peter, Remus, Mary, James, Remus, my husband Frank, and Sirius," she said in one breath. The youths nodded their heads and gave a small smile.

(Y/N) didn't, she looked uncomfortable, to say the least. Her eyes kept flickering to the door and clock on the end table.

Sirius, who was not one for awkward silences, broke it, " Oh trust me, love, the pleasure's all mine," he drawled sarcastically, Marlene and Lily sent him a glare but he ignored it.

" Oh," began (Y/N), " You're one of those."

Sirius's head snapped up, " I'll have you know kitten, there's no one like me." he said with a smirk.

" You're wrong," she sighed. She glanced over to Alice, " Thank you, but I really must be going." she said before walking to the door and leaving

A/N- Tell me if you guys want another part!!!

The girl smiled, " Well at least she agreed right? That had to have gotten you somewhere."

Sirius chuckled, " Maybe on her hit list, but I fucked up that night." he said, taking a deep breath, " She was a tough one to crack, but I was determined..."

Sirius had told her to dress nicely, he himself wore dark jeans with a black button-down, black biker boots completing the look. Sirius had taken it upon himself, well actually Lily forced him, to escort (Y/N) to the celebration. He wasn't  irritated he just...rather not.

This whole thing just called for more uncomfortable silences that he had given up trying to fix, and more sarcastic comments from her.  The girl really was a smartass.

Sirius stood outside the door to her flat and knocked three times, he was holding his breath the entire time, half expecting to have her take his breath away when the door opened to reveal her assemble.

(Y/N) opened the door, and put a coat on and quickly locked the door.

Sirius frowned, " Where's your dress?" he asked, taking in her black jeans, heeled-boots, and red blouse.

(Y/N) snorted, " Where's your dress?" she turned back around, shoving the keys into her pocket, " Well let's go I want to get this over with."

Sirius only rolled his eyes and followed behind her.

They arrived about twenty minutes into the party, James and Frank were sitting on the couch while Alice and Lily sipped cider from their mugs.

Sirius stepped in, allowing (Y/N) to go in first. She nodded her thank-you before stepping inside.

" (Y/N)!"

The two turned to see Lily waving, " I'm so glad you could come!"  

(Y/N) gave her a half-smile, " Thank you for having me," she said softly.

" Come in here, (Y/N), there's some food and drinks," said Sirius taking her coat from her. (Y/N) frowned at his behavior but waved a hand in the hair merely saying, okay.

Lily bid them goodbye as she returned to Alice.

Sirius led (Y/N) to the kitchen where he poured her a glass of champagne while grabbing himself a beer from the icebox.

" You never did tell me much about yourself." he hummed before taking a swallow.

(Y/N) twirled the glass in her hand, " No I didn't. I don't remember you sharing any facts about yourself either." she answered.

Sirius gave her a forced smile, " Then allow me," he cleared his throat and bowed slightly, " I was born into a family of pretentious pricks, who are purebloods, by the way, I'm the family disappointment, I was sorted into Gryffindor, which is the house for the brave, I'm exceedingly intelligent I just didn't give two fucks about school,  I ran away when I was 16 to my best mate, James, and I'm currently living my life as a bachelor and soon to be godfather of said mate's child."

Again, there was that bit of pain in her eyes, and a flash of jealousy he failed to notice. (Y/N)'s lip curled, " Sounds like you have an awful lot going for you."

Sirius grinned, " I suppose I do."

A comfortable silence passed through them until Sirius spoke once more, " So these boyfriends?" he asked innocently.

(Y/N) let out an amused huff, " What about them?" she asked.

" What did you mean you couldn't exactly call them relationships?"

She hummed before taking a sip of the champagne, " Well it was mostly... physical. A distraction I suppose."

Sirius smiled slightly, " Been there- hell I am there."

(Y/N) chuckled in her throat, " I mean, it was fun. Sex is nice, well it is until you almost get married when you're wasted."

Sirius let out a bark of a laugh, " When did this happen?"

(Y/N) leaned back against the counter, " It was the summer before my final year at Ilvermorny, a few friends and I went to this old pub where a bunch of strung out hippies hung out at, my friend grew pot in his closet and we'd give them that and they'd give us the drinks." she sighed, a soft smile on her face as she remembered the night.

" I myself have never smoked, y’know wrinkles," she said in distaste, ", but I did drink that night, I remember Thomas had managed to hotwire his parent's car and we just drove..."

(Y/N) had a faraway look in her eyes, and it took all Sirius had not to reach out and touch her, for a reason that was unknown to him.

He could almost see what she was seeing, the sight of a rising sun, six people who were no longer kids but far from adults, laughing, heads banging to Aerosmith- he could almost feel the wind in his hair.

" No one was out, so we went however fast we wanted- however slow, we had the radio up so loud I couldn't even hear Lawson and Karla, fucking Gina kept switching the station, driving does that- you just feel so, free." she chuckled, ", then Jen-"

(Y/N) stopped mid-sentence, throwing Sirius out of his own daze. The imagine of (Y/N) and the unknown faces driving down a deserted highway disappearing in a flash.

(Y/N)'s eyes grew misty, she took a deep breath while looking down at her watch, " It's late, I need to get going."

Sirius's mouth parted slightly, " Woah, Woah, what just happened?" he asked, his arm lightly touching her shoulder.

She shook it off, " Nothing, I need to go." she said.

Sirius scoffed,  " What is wrong with you? Why the hell do you do that, we were talking, you were being-"

" What's wrong with me?" she seethed, jabbing him in the chest with her index finger, " Why the fuck are you so curious about me anyway?!"

Sirius slapped her hand away, ", Because you're so cut-off from everyone, you seem to hate everyone you meet, and when things get nice and I can actually stand to be around you, you just get up and leave-"

(Y/N) grabbed her glass and threw the remnants of champagne on him, " You don't know a damn thing about me, so fuck you and your assumptions." she hissed, before slamming the glass down and speeding out the door.

Lily came in right after (Y/N) left, " Sirius what the- WHAT DID YOU DO!" she practically screeched, once she saw his drenched shirt.

Sirius clenched his fist, trying to calm down, " Let's just say we pissed each other off," he grunted.

Lily glared, " You need to apologize," Lily saw he was about to object but she held up a hand to silence him, " No Sirius, you will march your hiney to her flat and apologize, because I know you, and you rarely know when to stop pushing."

So that's what Sirius did, he was having an internal battle within himself, should he? Or should he just go home?

With a huff, he banged on the door, no answer.

He raised an eyebrow, he knocked once more, no answer.

He waited a minute or two, still no one,

Sirius looked up and grumbled something before trying the doorknob, it opened.

Sirius immediately took out his wand, ready for anything- well that's what he thought.

He turned down a short hall when he heard a faint noise, cautiously he cracked the door, " (Y/N)?" he whispered.

A sob coming from the corner of the room caught him off guard, " Wha-what the h-hell are y-you doing h-here?!" she yelled, tears streaming down her face, her eyes red a puffy from the previous tears and what seemed to be a jersey clutched in her hand.

Sirius earlier anger was totally gone, " Is this because of me?" he asked, shocked by the usually stolid girl's show of emotion.

(Y/N) scoffed, " Tr-trust me, B-Black, this isn't b-because of y-you," she sniffed, wiping her eyes.

Sirius took a step forward, " I'm sorry," he said softly.

(Y/N) glared, " Just please," the glare fading and replaced with a look of desperation, " Get out,"

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